Haai.. why my uni application still processing...?
Really no chance to enter uni le mah..? Getting quite hopeless le.. if only they'll let me know that I can't enter uni sooner. Then I can juz go get a job and work till the end of the year den repeat my A's or something nxt year.

Should have registered wif the polys when I could sia..

Argh...save me.

My army friend called me. Only this time it's not because he's troubled, but because I sent him a msg that says I miss him, and he thought I really missed him. Er.. oops? =p

And my idol msged me another take care msg, juz when I was feeling bored in the afternoon. So sweet...

And it's my didi's last day at the factory tonight. After so long, we finally talked to each other... like old times...

I'm so lucky. Just when I'm feeling down, I get these people showing me concern... haai... wat on earth went through me this morning sia...

Went job-searching today. Factory again. And the agent is the same agent of the first job I looked for and didn't get accepted. haai... this time sure won't get accepted again le larh..

Then since I was in the area, went flyer distributing again. Did 2 blocks of mansionettes. Then my back couldn't take it le. But mansionettes are quite alrite to do.. Den I went home le. Yup...

2mr cannot lazy le! Coz got training in the evening... haai...

Ok.. new addy.. hopefully not so many ppl will know about this...

I cried. I actually cried. It's usually so hard for me to cry, but I cried today.

Just sat at my computer, stared at the monitor, and cried.

So glad I decided not to work today. Whatever.

I just feel like shit today.

Capoeira is so hard. Why the freaking hell did I want to learn this. Sign language is so hard. Why the freaking hell did I want to learn it. Finding a job is so hard. Why the freaking hell did I quit my last job. Why the freaking hell am I such a loser...

Removed a whole load of things at the sides of the blogs. There are alot of things I can live without. A whole load of goals I've given up on.

I just want to believe in myself. Is it too much to ask for? I hate my freaking face, hate my freaking heart, hate the freaking woman who hates us. Hate her freaking husband. I hate how my mother always says she knows I won't be like that woman after I find a boyfriend and get married.

What does she know?! What does anybody know!?

What do I know...

This blog will cease to exist.

Or rather, I'll just stop blogging. Alrite? Tata...

Should be working today. But haai... decided to slack again.

Fell on my tailbone yesterday during training. Today sit down get up walk around also pain. Swollen ankle, injured wrist, shoulder. So another self-proclaimed off day for me. Lazy bum. Haai.

Training was kns yesterday. Just keeps getting harder...losing heart.

It was weird. Had one of the longest conversations with my aunt before I slept last night. Talking about that woman who used to be my sister. About change in people's character. Life after marriage. Then about the school system. Circulating around my sisters. Or sister, and the other woman I used to call my sis.

Yup, wondering why the sudden change in attitude again? She sucks alrite? I don't wanna blame her, coz if I were her, I would change too. Jealousy? Revenge? I'm like her, I'm not a family person. I'll snap at my family members as and when I like. If I see them doing something which from my point of view is wrong, I'll snap at them regardless of the blood that flows in my body. Like I told my mother, you asked for it. That woman was her daughter for 24 years! Doesn't she understand her one bit? My mother asked her if what she's doing now is to take revenge for the freedom which my sis & I were given that she did not have when she was our age. Of course that woman would say yes, whether it's true or not!

This family is so fucked up with brainless souls sometimes, I just wanna run out and don't come home.

I wanna build a tree-house in the forest, have scorpions as pets, and snakes as my body guards. I'll eat fruits & bark & grass everyday. I'll fall in love with a wolf, and we'll have baby werewolves and pray to the moon every night.

Living in my fantasy world.

I hate you Devina. I don't give 2 shits about the wonderfuls times we spent anymore. Don't ever let me see you coming home anymore.

Today was supposed to be my last day distributing flyers. But because I told the flyer lady I can continue to distribute even after Tuesday, she asked me to continue for some more days, and gave me the entire Bukit Batok and Bukit Gombak for me to do my distribution. There was initially this other guy "fighting" with me over the same area. Haha. Yeah so now I have another 500 flyers. But I have the day off tomorrow! Just in time.. can go out and let off some steam.. especially after what happened...

Somehow I never stopped looking for the ring..though it's really hopeless already... the more I think about it the more frustrated I get. The beauty of the ring actually caught the attention of my friend, so he was the only person other than myself to last see it. Heartache arh... Fuck.

Oh well..work today was kinda boring. Units were like any other. Mostly closed doors, which is good. But start of work and I had problems with my knee. Had to limp down the stairs for the first 2 blocks before it stopped hurting. Then there was this block with a weird layout. And the corridor was kinda dark. And it was so quiet, I even wished there were dogs barking at me. Wanted to get out of that block quick. Yeah. Then actually wanted to go back to flyer headquarters to return the flyers, when I came across this block with only 16 units, so haha went to distribute before heading down to headquarters. Might as well eh? Heh. Anyway, the movie I watched last night kept me occupied during work today. Surprisingly. All because someone said the show not nice, no head no tail. Yeah... what I thought was quite nonsensical larh... but it kept my mind off my ring. Haai... my ring...

K den reach home, den prepare to go for Sign Language class le. Class was alrite today. My instructor bought wang wang biscuits for us! (reminds me of work at the factory again...haai...) Then...during break, a few of us stayed in class and had a little conversation with our instructor. About guys..and girls... talking about how the wives must doll themselves up so their husbands do not get tired of them, about divorce rates these days...blablabla...Then the fun started after class. The 3 of us taking 31 met up with our BS1 instructor and went home together. Den we were signing to each other at the bus stop. Then when the bus came and we went up, and the 3 of us hearing people were together, and I realised that the other 2 actually signed to each other like we do in class. So funny, learn sign language until they forgot they can actually talk and hear each other. Haiyoh... Den after that got space on the bus for the 4 of us to sit down. Den I actually wanted to sit with the girl but our instructor asked me to sit with the guy. Den I sit lorh. Den my instructor actually signed to me to tell me don't feel shy! Wahaha... I where got shy one. Heh... signed to her that I got thick skin. Heh..

To end... just wish guys wouldn't treat me so nice. I don't deserve it. These few days got a couple of guys treat me nice. Don't treat me so nice le lah. Ok? My skin how thick also will feel paiseh one. =P Now 2.15 am le.

Can anyone sense the frustration in this song?

I am so damn F-U-C-K-ing pissed. I tell you, there's just no fate between myself and the things my little sister gives me. How many of them have I lost? The bear, the candle, the earring, the friendship band, and now, the ring she bought me from Laos. I just simply don't appreciate the things she gives me enough. Maybe I don't treasure her as much as I appear to.

I'm a L-O-S-E-R. I keep losing things. Pun intended. Joke unintended. Sarcasm definite. Somebody slap me.

Why is it always like this... I had such a great evening out yesterday. Then moment I reached home had to realise my ring's lost. Everytime after I enjoy myself, something bad happens. I said before, I cannot feel happy. Coz if I do, I know I have to pay for that moment of happiness. Silly me? But it's too much of a coincidence.

Fuck. Today I'm up early. With no mood for work. Or anything else. And there's dat Fucking sign language course later. To heaven with everything and everyone today. I shall roam hell today.

Then again...
"When there no more room left in hell, the dead will walk the earth." I shall be a walking zombie today.

Dawn of the Dead is not a bad show, but it ain't exactly nice either. Feel so bad that my friend had to treat me to the show, and drinks. But well...so embarrassing. Coz I was watching the show from behind my bag, as usual.
It was quite a quiet evening out. We went Toys R Us! Den movie. Den walk walk. Den went home. Den my fren went to work. My fren was tired. Haai... But I had fun. Being scared cold, being laughed at. Walking in moments of silence. Maybe not fun larh.. but happy. =)

Lalalaa...message from my idol~ heh even happier~

Work was alrite. It's better on a weekday coz kids r at school, the men are at work, doors r mostly closed. Got frightened by a couple of dogs. Coz I did so little 2day, tomorrow got more to do le. Oh... shoot I didn't call the flyer lady...

Lalaa...boredbored...

Saw this advert in the Classified. So funny. Some admin post, den "Shitting" was part of the job duties. Seriously typo error sia. Hahaa...

I'm late today. Woke up late. And I'm still home slacking around...

Today capoeira training good~ Yep. No air-con. So funny. Simpatia and Faceira folded their abadas, and Alif came to tell me "this is when all the aunties selling fishes come out". Hahaha... Anyway today training good larh. Can feel the movements better. Yup. Esp meia lua de compassos. Mestre seemed happy with them. Yeppie. But wasted larh, when Mestre came into the roda to play wif me, I kept losing my balance, every move I did I missed my step and kept falling. Haai my legs giving way le arh.. so yah I decided to stop mestre and get out. Luckily Mestre allowed it. But later ok le den went in again. Not too bad larh, except when Alif came in. It felt as if Alif was flying all over me, with his Au Semaos and all. I kept dodging him until I got compra-ed out. Other than that, good training! Tired larh... after 4 days... But finally feeling the movements. Mestre also said I improved. YEah! Try harder!

After training went Tampines find Huimin. Hehe. Give her surprise visit. Den she so sweet... heh drop msg into my bag eh? Hmm... I first time buy Godiva chocolates, den first time use my debit card~ Haha.. den so paiseh coz 1st time use then I this mountain tortoise ask the person where to sign. Den she look at me like "aiyoh duno how to use dun use larh" 0_o" Heh... so embarrasing. =P Yup den go home le.

Work today was haiyoh... crap. Got good blocks, but really terrible residents. Majority of the owners wif the doors open got attitude problem, or they have something against flyer distributors like me. Anyway after I finished distributing my share of the flyers (finally), I went in search of The Madeira condominiums. And yup they're beautiful. Heh.. Luckily went to search for them today, coz when I went back to return the flyers, the lady said I could take somemore and continue tomorrow, but I need to do another area le. So haai, thought my nightmare's over, but now I got another 1000 flyers to distribute. 2mr a lot to do le.

Den... 2mr going out after work. Gonna try to enjoy myself. Been so long since I went out wif friends.

And 2mr must make appointment wif hairdresser cut hair for Huimin.

Now making new present. My new clamp very nice to use. Yup.

Tired.. right ankle pain. Knee bruised. 2nite sawing wood. 2mr jia you!

Haai...dunno y... look through friendster.. see the profiles of the ppl I got to know at work.. den saw shuai didi's foto of him taken during the dinner at BREKZ. The dinner that 10 of us went for together. Those were the days...

xin1 hao3 suan1... miss dem all...

Think I injured my right knee or something. Landed on it when I lost my balance when trying a handstand during training yesterday. 2mr still got training. Haai.. my legs giving way soon le.

Today roda not good. Except I can Au to my right more confidently le. =) Other than that, there's alot more to work on. Anis said must work on my meia lua de compasso to my left more. Shit side. Haha.. 2dae the 2 of us so confused by the rasteira...

Went into a state of stonation after training today. Actually wanted to practise my meia luas one, but realised I couldn't get myself up. Just sat down in a corner of the dance studio and stoned. And stoned. And stoned. Until it was time to change. And Hasibah taught me a little Malay, of which I forgot everything. Sheesh. =P

Den work today. Of the 6 dogs I ran into, 5 of them barked at me! And I was so totally frightened by one of them. I jumped. Luckily I didn't scream. Dogs hate me. Sigh... Bukit Batok's a really weird place. There are even units whereby the owners place barriers (i.e. benches, huge cardboard slabs, one even had a string of bells) outside along the corridor! Oh.. and I saw quite a number of rabbits, and there was this hamster too! Then there was this unit, and there was this banister in the living room acting as a divider or something. Nice larh, but much as I like banisters, I wouldn't do that in a living room. Heh. Residents of this area entertain me so differently everyday. Well, I seriously must get up earlier tomorrow and finish up that stack of flyers by 2mr morning before training if I still wanna go out on Monday. Was supposed to finish distributing the stack by today but I woke up late so started work later.

From one of the blocks where I was distributing the flyers, the view of the hill was kinda nice. And then amongst the bushes, there was like this stone steps thingy and a map next to it. I tink it's greenwood park or goodwood park or something. Huimin wanna go explore it someday?

K.. bloggy ends here today.

Yup.. went training at NUS again. Today only us 3 girls and mestre. It was slightly more slack. And I discovered a way for me to be able to kick higher. And heh.. me not scared to Au on my right le! And not scared to do handstand! No Fear! Only No Balance! Haha... nutz. Now me got problem wif my queixada and meia lua de compasso. Jia You! Oh Christina gave me a yellow flower! Looked like gerberas but dun think it is coz gerberas got yellow colour one meh? (?)

K lah.. training nothing much larh. Today distribute flyers oso quite boring. Actually not very one. Coz start of the day got lollipop. Yup brought along one. So I was distributing the flyers wif a lollipop in my mouth. Den the blocks all easy easy 12-13 storeys one. Den got a few only 4 storeys. 2 blocks got only 24 units. Did like 8 blocks in 4 hours. Den I ran out of flyers. Which means time to go home rite? Then it started raining! So there I was standing, waiting for the rain to stop or subside. Den finally made my way home. Dat's it loh. Today saw quite a few nice interiors, den got one very flowery place. Got the money plant creeping up along the sides of the gate. Like so cool...yet a little creepy. Yep. Den the lightbulbs all over the place. And got swing summore. It's those 1st floor units larh. More space for decoration.. Oh... got embarrassing thing happen to me! I was going to place this flyer at the gate when a guy walked out of the unit larh, den I passed the flyer to him larh. Den he looked at me like blur blur lidat den he put the flyer at the side of the steps leading to the house larh. And it was only then did I realise that he's actually the air-con repairman! I was like err... oops.. den I took the flyer and stuck it in the gate den walked away le. So paiseh!!!

K that's it. Sleep.

Oh.. the song nice? =P

I'm er.. estatic! Coz just now after training at NUS, Christina brought mestre, Hasibah and myself to Embargo to meet her collegues for a drink coz of the success in some event thingy.. I tink(?). And one of them is a... er... how can I phrase this nicely... he's my dat kind of guy larh. U know.. And then he's tall, slim, charming, beautiful voice, beautiful poise, wallet full of cards, den he was in black, G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S.!! I was like... *omigosh!!!*jaw-drop*

Christina is soooo C-O-O-L!!! I never really got to know her until these 2 days training at NUS. And today, she drove us to One Fullerton. Man she's one confident driver on the road. And she's so nice and so generous. Treat me to shirley's temple. Oh and the ***guy mentioned that my drink's a good choice! Heh. He had margarita. Yep. He is such a gentleman. lalaaa... *skips away*

Me am home earlier than expected. But actually can go home much earlier one. If not for the rain. Then actually can do alot more. But I brought too little out.

2mr's gonna be a tough day. A lot to do.

Haai... juz now got into a quarrel wif my aunt. She getting all paranoid because juz now got guest(my mother's friend) come my house, call my mother call my father den never call her. Then she say she very lonely everyday only face the TV. Say what my mother side her friend say her friend don't know my aunt then it's ok to not call her. My aunt cannot accept it. Just now she ask me help her buy sleeping pills, let her commit suicide. Cannot stand it loh. Just because one little girl never call her, she wanna die. But then she oso so sick, everyday reliant on my mother. Life like hers, if I were her I everyday also wanna die. But yah was arguing wif her lah, tell her if she feel lonely den can die, I would have died a long long time ago. If she feels lonely and wanna die because someone who doesn't know her doesn't say hi to her, then I can also go and die because so many a time I meet so many people who know me on the streets yet pretend to not have seen me. It's so.. ridiculous. Anyway I told her, if she wanna die, I will take the sleeping pills wif her and die wif her. But horh, I dun wanna die yet. So Min ah, if such a day comes when I accompany 1st aunt take sleeping pills horh, dun save her never mind, must remember to rescue me horh! =P

Almost forgot this part. Actually I oso dun wanna flare up one. Just that... the last time she kept telling me she wanted to die was the night before I went on my kinabalu expedition. And I was so bothered by it, I totally couldn't focus and nearly died on that mountain. Must stop her from thinking this way larh... she think I treat her very coldly. Of course lah, ridiculous thoughts piss me off. Especially when they come from her. grr...

Anyway, I'm not going to let this bother me tomorrow at work. Found myself a source of motivation. yeah. Jia you baby! You finally got a job whereby you're working on your own.~

So tired. By right should still be working but decided to come home and slack. Haha. Rare eh?

Yeah the lousy pay job is really distributing flyers. But while those who went today had a partner or transport, I had only myself. So while 2 girls could carry 2000 flyers, den come back another day for another 2000, I myself had to carry 2000 flyers myself and start distributing. I did 3 blocks and that was it. Even my backpack when I go on expeditions aren't this heavy. And I could put all my things in my backpack. Today, I had 1600 flyers in my bag and 400 in my hands. And I stupidly had to choose a block with so many units. Good larh more units to use up my flyers, but very the tired arh. Luckily the 3 blocks the layout different, and I settled the most difficult one first. Actually I don't really care whether they paid me for today's work. By right, I only earned $6 today. Will try to earn more money 2mr. Yup.

My arms still aching arh. My dumbells oso not so heavy can. Yeah so I gave up. Actually wanted to come home put 1/2 down den carry on one. But by the time I reached home, late le. Go back there time to go home le. Haha.. I'm such a slacker today.

But still quite fun larh. Get to see the different gates, den different design. Got one place really design until like jungle, got plants everywhere along this corridor. Haha.. felt so much like my ideal home just walking through that small stretch of plants to get to the door. Den horh, I'm so lucky. Never meet any dogs barking at me. And Bukit Batok residents dunno wat they do at this time sia, majority of the doors closed one leh. Got 1 gate actually already has 4 flyers stuck in it le. Dunno how long nvr open the door sia. Heh den got one time I oredi seh liao, den I forgot I put the flyer at this unit already not( coz I do one side of the block first mah), den I put le den realised I actually put before but the owner removed le, so I went back den juz stretched my hand over to snatch the flyer from the gate. The door was open loh. I tink if the owner saw it sure laff like siao. Haha.. ok lah. Dunno whether u understand not, but the way it happened it was funny larh.

Waah... yesterday and today really lost me buckets of perspiration sia. May tomorrow be a better day.

Violet ur hair so cool sia...I was like *speechless* .
But don't u think Beckham hairstyle a bit outdated le? But still very nice arh... so envious coz I dun haf da looks for it. =(

Oh..wanted to tell u (Violet) that I can't believe u actually bought MPX200!!!!! I hate that fone arh... u ask any QA at d/s they'll probby tell u the same thing. That fone super hard to buy off arh.. all of us see the MPX200 box we all sian 1/2 le. Hahah... but glad u like the fone lah. V878 is very nice!! But too lady-like for me le. Haha..

K...hey peepz help me recommend Singtel plans can? Cheap one, den got little bit SMS but alot of talk-time. Den preferably got auto-roam lah. Can trade in 8250. I wan either 7210 or 7250. Yup...

Haai... so many people got uni posting le. I'm still like no news one. Should have registered for poly too sia... anyone know if got chance to register for poly should I not get into the uni?

hUwaAaahhh... I feel so nwWwUuUuaAAaaaaa... Capoeira training at NUS was... how to say leh... can be one of my best training sessions ever bah...

But before that... talk about coincidences. Left something at home when I went to meet Violet to pass her my camera, so I was contemplating between going home to get it and juz forgetting about it and go straight to NUS. And I decided to go home and get it, but went up the wrong escalator and ended up on the wrong side of the track. Then just as I was walking back to the escalator to get to the other side, the train came and so I got on, and headed for Clementi instead. And the time was just nice loh, I would have been seriously late had I gone home first. But that was not it. Just as I exited the control station, I met Eleanor who's meeting Yvonne & Joyce! Ok I shall be a little mean but honest here, but those 3 girls are the only ODAC girls(except Shouhua lah...) who make me feel really comfortable anywhere, so I very happy to be able to meet them. Heh.. Eleanor even said I look prettier. =P Ok to everyone who's like throwing up now, sorry lah, but itz not everyday that someone says I pretty k? =P I must remember this day. Heh. OoohH..and Yvonne & Eleanor so funny. Coz they asked me why I going NUS mah den I told them Mestre asked me go NUS for extra training den they went "eh we learning kick-boxing and our instructor taught us that move from capoeira.." and they did the ginga like so cute lorh! Haha.. Oh man... so amused by these people 0_____o!! Hehh.. But yeah they asked me to join them and so yup if got anything they keep me informed.

Or so they said. Dunno lah.. not too hopeful honestly. Heh.

K den I found my way to NUS. And by memory I got off at the right bus stop. Heh why by memory leh? Coz I remembered the Visitor's Lodge or something when I walked from Kent Ridge into NUS for a training session some long long time ago. So yah got off the bus and was kinda finding my way when I heard my name. And it was YY! My lifesaver sia..!! Thanks to her directions I found the place in no time! Yup... but then.. had another problem. Try as I might I just couldn't find the dance studio! So I was running around having the er.. tkd or some club people passing glances at me. Then so lucky... I turned around and saw a guy in capoeira uniform and I was like aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh omigod I'm so glad I found u guys! Yeah Hasibah's so cute neh.. Luckily they got locked out of the dance studio or else I wouldn't know when I would ever find it sia.

K capoeira training...:(can skip)
So in the end we had training in this open space outside some multi purpose hall. Tiled floor and no air-con! But luckily the toilet was within stepping distance. Yep. Coz... training was super siong arh... train until I puked. Literally. Pushed myself beyond my limits today arh. Coz mestre kept watching me, getting me to kick higher, execute the moves properly, the stretches and moves oso, everything teach me properly. Usually the queixada without the gingas I do at most 5 den I lost le, den mestre made me do 10 and I had to get my legs over his hand. So high can! Do finish the 10 I oredi wanna die. So many times after he walked away I just stood there and panted. Yup. Couldn't breath so pant. Den.. today learnt the correct way to do meia lua de compasso. And I found out why I always like cannot turn properly! Yeah~ Heh.. den while doing sequences, coz the girls got 3 of us mah, me, Hasibah & Christina. So we take turns. While I was resting, I did the put the 2 soles together thingy and bent my body down. Den mestre came and pushed my entire upper body and yeah coz that's an easy stretch for me mah. Mestre said I can stretch very well, ie flexible lah. So he said I should be able to kick very high but I just can't seem to do it. So yah told him that my problem lies in my balance. Coz I can't balance well, and with the limited training space at Substation, I tend to restrict my movements. Mestre said actually I can do alot of movements, but I always think I cannot do. So yah.. still the psychological barrier yet to be crossed. Oh.. den today kept trying to enter the roda via my right side. Meaning I must Au in on my right side, my weak side. Heh got one time I Au right side den I cocked up, den mestre made me go back and do it again. Heh and I improved! Yeah managed to go up, stretch my leg a little. Can say is the best Au on the right I ever managed! Not much, not very nice, not even nice oso, but compared to what I always do, got improvement le! Den got one part, so embarrassing. Was supposed to enter the roda with the German guy, then I was supposed to enter on the right mah. Den I lost my momentum and fell to the floor instead. So I just went "eh sorry ah I do again." Majiam rewind tape den try again one. Den he oso still ok with it. Think mestre oso close one eye. Heh.

O well, although I was the only one (other than Mestre of course) with a corda there, We trained on the same level. In fact, I relied a whole lot on Hasibah. Then the guys oso very good. Den I was the only one who puked. Heh. Cannot drink too much water before training. Not used to the training at NUS ah.. so siong. Now I know Substation training is actually quite slack le.

Hasibah really very friendly sia. Nvr talked to her so much until today. Den she show me the way around and out. So nice. K den my feet blistered le. Hmm... saw American Idol on TV mobile on the way home so yah was kept awake by the show for the entire journey. All the girls sang really well sia. Didn't hear the John Stevens guy sing coz so funny, the moment he started singing the TV mobile suddenly no sound den the judges finish commenting about him le then the sound come back on. Hahaa..

K den finally home le. Going to sleep le. Tired. Back to working mode 2mr. Time to earn some money...........!!! Den I can buy my 7250~

Going out le. Pass mi cam to Violet. Den go NUS for training. Yup. Be back tonight. Hope I don't get myself lost in there again.

jin1 tian1 very bored.

Thou shalt not be too excited about sign language classes anymore. Be happy about class will make me utterly disappointed when I don't enjoy it. Grah. Haai. Class sucked today, but it was my own stupidity. Yup. I did a very good one. Followed by 2 failures. I should have expected it. Yup. I'm a kid, after all.

Nicole Highway collapsed. So sad... everyone at SADeaf was talking about it. Coz itz so near the school... Den I was so freaked. Time it collapsed was around the time when my friend was on her way home and she stays around that area. Luckily she msged back saying she's safe and home. Oh God.. thank you.

Shall not look forward to work on Thursday.

2mr training at NUS.

Maybe that's the bad feeling bah... bad feeling go away... shooo...

Yeah! Thursday got 1 day job~
Haha.. super low pay lah but heck. Been out of job for TOO long. Somemore it's just nice the day when I have nothing on. Oh.. and very funny.. coz the person who answered the call spoke to me in chinese, so I blurted out my chinese name when she asked for my name. So yah.. I shall be known by my chinese name on Thursday. Haha.. eew.

Must bring bag, bring pen, bring street directory. Must ask the ppl wat happen if the owner of the hse is at the door when I'm there. Haiyoh.. so excited.

okok...

This morning walked to ICA Building to meet my friend. Haha but she only woke up 45 minutes after our meeting time! So went her place, had lunch (chicken rice & yong tau hu) with her and her daddy. Her daddy treat. So nice. Really. He kept asking me to eat. Den he jia2 the wanton give me. Then I was like thanking him for the meal, den he say "don't need lah. Your father is my very good friend, know each other more than 10 years already." Haai... so sad. We watch each other grow up loh.. or rather, he watch us grow up, while we see how he fall victim to kidney failure, from such a healthy person den now need walking stick, a few blocks away also must take taxi. Yup, though we ate mostly in silence, it was a memorable lunch. And I wouldn't have the chance to have that lunch if my friend hadn't overslept. Haha. So yah actually while she's feeling so paiseh abt it, I was kinda thankful. Haha.. =P K den we walked from her house to my place. Coz she never see my new home before. Yup... den we watch wan quan yu le. And Wang Renfu's back..........................!!! And his hair still so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My friend and I were like "eh wanna go buy hair extensions not?" Hehe... yeah if her parents dun object, we will. K den she went home le.

Later got Sign Language class again~ Yeah!

Nothing much to type today.

In the end didn't call the flyer job. Heh. Maybe 2mr eh? If newspapers got advertise.

My ex-schoolmate asked me to go jogging 2mr. Yeah~ Must wake up early loh...

Somebody said my wall very nice. =) So happy. 1st time receive such comments from people. Actually wanted to do more.. cover up the empty area across the wall near the ceiling, but mother said will look quite untidy. See how loh..

Hmm... someday go check out tamiya models..

Den... oh... bored outta my wits. Went to watch Flame of Recca again~ Saw the match with Saicho & Recca. Aaaahhh... *faints* Heh...

Ooh.. and I found out that I can actually type at about 40 wpm~ Heh.. quite fast rite..? =P No? Er.. ok..

Still listening to Tui Mo Ji~
Silent night tonight...

removed the links to protect some people. yep. in case. scared le.

Listening to Tui Mo Lu one last time before I go to sleep. Super tired. From training.

K and the guilt bug is hitting me. Yup so I deleted the retard foto. Huimin u noe which one. Coz I showed elmo the pic. No wonder my computer kept hanging whenever I tried to show him the pic. Haai... should have known.

hao le.. shui jiao time..

AaAaAaaaahhhh... 5566~~~
AaAaAAAaaaahhHHhhH... Wang Renfu look so preeeeettttty!!!
I lUrvE hIS vOIcE I lUrvE hiS HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRR.................
Aiyoh xin1 dong4 le.. somemore they sang my favourite song from their 2nd album. heh~

K lah I called NKF le lah. But 1 call only larh. Heh. =P All for 5566...~~

Tired sia...
Today roda so bad. Cannot do moves properly. But yup.. Alif n Anis. Must pluck the courage to play with them more.

And Mestre asked me to go NUS train on Wednesday le. Haai.. dunno to feel good or bad abt it.

Ok.. on a lighter note.. No I haven't found a job. Haha. But I made a new friend. K maybe not friend lah. But I made a new... er... aquaintance. Den he intro me alot of the recent songs, send me a lot of songs oso. Hehe... and best of all, he sent me Energy's tui mo lu!! Been wanting that song for ages! Yeah!! Been listening to that one song on repeat mode since I got it from him. Wahahah... happy happy..~~

And tired...

I'm up and awake! And tired. But awake! Haai..

My dad just came home. And he so dumb can.. think he bought a whistle or something.. and he BLEW IT! In the middle of the night! How dim can a person get?! Gave my aunt a shock can... stupid piece of shit.

And it didn't end there. Coz I now have the words "WHAT LAH!" pasted with postcards on my bedroom wall, he stood beside me and went "what lah" so loudly loh. Liewz... no cow sense one leh he...

So yah as usual I snapped at him larh. Then can see he quite..er..angry but try not to show it to me. He open the store door den slam the door, close toilet door oso slam the door, see empty can put down oso put loudly. K lah.. i very bad larh. So while he was in the toilet, I went to hide in his room. Then when he entered and turned the lights off I went "daddy bao4 bao4". Heh.. he turned on the lights and climbed onto me! Haha.. den we had a little joke session. My mother already snoring in between us on the bed. Or mattress. Den we started making fun of her. Den she oso nvr wake up. Haha... den I left the room le.

Oh well... so much for the little tiff. Both of us... father daughter really.. ppl say bu4 da3 bu4 xiang1 shi4. We scold each other den grow closer.. haha...

waaaahh... blisters on me feet sakit ah...

heh.. yup learnt a new word today! Sakit! Then.. finally got blisters on mi soles again~ Yeh!

Haha.. thinking I sadistic? No larh.. just that..very long dun have the blisters le, coz.. I finally learnt the correct way to ginga today! And I kept trying and trying during the 4 lines and during sequences. And I finally approached mestre to ask him what's wrong with my ginga and he corrected me. Haai..me so lousy rite..? More than a year in capoeira and I only learn how to ginga properly today. Den still got dunno how long before I'll be able to do it right.

But I'll be going for training at NUS soon! Yup. Pay more larh.. but.. well.. alot of work to be done so that I don't keep making mistakes by the time batizado arrives. Today make mistake again. Every week learn new things abt rules of the roda.

Then today... weird feeling. Falacao today kept wanting to play in the roda, den she kept helping me go in. Not only help me, but help others also. But the thing is.. today after class, when we went opposite the coffee shop for a drink and talk talk, I was with Miragem and her, and we all could just talk and talk, though it was mostly Falacao doing the talking. It felt like... my elder sis was wif me. Yah.. I never really told anyone about this. But Falacao reminds me of my elder sis a whole lot. The way she behaves like a kid despite her age, yet she's capable and determined and then there's the her who doesn't care what others think about her so long as she's doing what she thinks right. I don't like talking to my elder sis much, but there were times when we were close. Yes I said before, I miss those times. And today, Falacao reminded me of the times when I could just talk to my elder sis about things. Like whenever we go out or something, den we sit down while waiting for the bus or watever, den we can talk and talk...

Today.. I miss my elder sis. Yup. She's in Medan right now visiting her hubby's grandmother. I always don't treasure people when they're close to me, and only miss them when they're not around. So bad huh.. must learn to appreciate everyone... some day...

Oh.. den after we left the coffee shop, we all headed for city hall where the rest went home via MRT. Then I went for a little walk on my own. Hung around HMV for quite some time, listen to music, check out the CDs. Felt that I had quite a bit of fun. Heh. Haven't felt that way in a long while.

And den I was just standing outside Giodano looking at the jeans, then the guy at the counter said the "Welcome to Giodano" kinda stuff. Said I was attracted to soft-spoken guys, but when I looked up and I was like.. blown away? The guy already has a really nice voice, and he looked..er.. pretty? Ok that's kinda mean, but I can't find the word. He's cute, like.. abit the cute jap-like guys, but his hair's black. Den shoulder length.. er.. watever. Cool guy. Nice features too. And Giodano now got nice clothes. Don't look at the wat-wat-wat ME clothes lah. Just the plain ones. Nice. Yup.

K now me home. Tired. Mother found a big bag of postcards. Gonna start pasting them all over the wall later. Heh.. something I always wanted. Now got enough postcards to do it le.

100 Things about me :

1) I hate my chinese name.
2) I've heard many different pronunciations for my christian name, from kesia to kershia to kashier, when it's actually pronounced kee-shia.
3) I'm the shortest, fattest and ugliest of my parent's 3 girls.
4) I'm the middle child.
5) I like being an elder sister, so I love my younger sis a lot.
6) I long for a younger brother.
7) I don't do sports, but I'm tanned.
8) I'm the most pampered kid at home.
9) Never kept long hair till sec3, cut it in JC2 to let go of someone close to me, had it straightened for the 1st time end of J2, cut again and dyed it for the 1st time this year, and I love it only now.
10) I have very thick hair.
11) I perspire a lot and very easily.
12) Yet I'm fat.
13) I started training with dumbells at the age of 14. Stopped at 15 coz it stunted my growth. Training again now coz I'm already fated to be short.
14) I have a dumbell in my room.
15) I have a pull-up bar in my new room, but I use it to hang my clothes=P.
16) I like things messy, especially my room.
17) I never tidy my bed.
18) My sleeping bag is my blanket, but I almost never use it.
19) My sleeping mat is torn and hole-ly. But I'll never throw it away because it saved my life on Mt Trusmadi.
20) I never liked mountain trekking, but survived 1 1/2 years of it in JC.
21) I love nature, but I use wood for my craftwork.
22) I love dogs more than cats, if they don't bite.
23) I am able to identify many animals just looking at pictures of them.
24) My love for animals is to also overcome my fear of them.
25) So is my love for insects.
26) My interest in plants is for connecting to the insects I wish to learn about.
27) My dad is the main contributor to my collection of teddy bears, getting me 1 or 2 whenever he goes overseas.
28) My favourite teddy bear is the Land Rover Safari bear which my dad ordered from UK. It's the size of a 1-month-old baby.
29) I am a very hot-tempered person.
30) I don't smile when I don't see the need to.
31) I like to make false facts sound like they're the truth and make fun of people who actually believe me. (it's for fun, really.)
32) I don't like earning money I didn't work hard for.
33) I like treating people to meals and presents, but I don't like being treated.
34) I like people to steal food from my plate.
35) I started killing crabs at the age of 13.
36) I only started learning to cook recently.
37) I like trying food that doesn't look edible (you know those that groups mix and add for zong1 ji2 mi4 ma3)
38) I love claypot rice.
39) I also love soft candy lollipops.
40) I cannot eat chocolate without water.
41) Neither can I eat chocolate mousse cake.
42) I love cheese cake.
43) I love all pink drinks, esp bandong and strawberry milk.
44) I take coffee without sugar and milk.
45) I like any food with strawberries in them.
46) I like experimenting with materials for craftwork.
47) I can use a drill fairly well.
48) Green's my favourite colour. When I was younger I used to call it vegetable colour.
49) I like army green clothes.
50) I hate polo-tees, and I don't like guys who wear them.
51) Neither do I like guys who wear shirts and reveal their chest hair. *ulgh*
52) I do not have a single dress in my wardrobe.
53) I'm attracted to soft-spoken guys.
54) I snap at people who looks down on gays or think that gays are weird.
55) I always claim to not want to get married, but if I can, I probably would.
56) People who don't know me think I'm nice, people who know me will tend to hate me.
57) People's 1st impression of me is that I'm fierce, serious, quiet.
58) I take a long time to open up to strangers, unless they approach me first.
59) I can be fun to be with if the people with me are fun.
60) Other times I like to be alone.
61) I don't like crowds.
62) No where is too far for me to walk, unless I'm in a hurry.
63) I've perfect eyesight, although I read lying down on my bed and I face the computer 16 hours a day.
64) I get cold hands and feet whenever I make phonecalls or receive phonecalls.
65) Hardly anyone calls me to chat on the phone.
66) I've only finished watching 2 animes - Cardcaptor Sakura & Flame of Recca
67) I used to be Earthvision crazy.
68) I used to follow the X-Files when David Duchovny was still in it.
69) My ideal Prince Charming looks like Koichi Dohmoto.
70) I like watching the heros of shows injured in hospital.
71) I've an autographed photo of Hossan Leong on my table.
72) I watched Hossan Live! from the front second row.
73) Fen Xiang by Sky Wu Sikai is my all-time favourite song.
74) I started listening to Rock because my dad brought me to a pub at the age of 16.
75) Rock and heavy metal music used to be my stress relievers(an alternative to cutting myself instead) until I felt the beauty of it.
76) I've been an alcoholic since the age of 10, though my face still turns red very easily.
77) I've never really been drunk, nor gotten a serious hangover. Usually it's just minor headaches, and feeling very sleepy after drinking.
78) My attempt to quit drinking only lasted 9 months.
79) I don't smoke, and I probby never would.
80) I like walking in the middle of roads and feel the vehicles drive past me in both directions.
81) I love sunrises and sunsets, for no 2 sunrises or sunsets are the same.
82) I like peace and quiet.
83) I'm very afraid of the supernatural.
84) My greatest fear is becoming blind.
85) To learn sign language is a passion since childhood. And I'm currently fulfilling it.
86) I'm tone-deaf, cannot play a single instrument.
87) I can't sing, much as I wish to be able to.
88) I've a lousy sense of direction.
89) I like people to see me as a boy, though I still like being a girl.
90) I cannot stand Christian practises, even though my best friend's a Christian.
91) I went to church once, and lived in fear of it ever since.
92) I love my family, even though I'm the only one who yells at anyone at home.
93) I'm a very lazy person when it comes to studying.
94) I hate school.
95) I try to have as few friends as possible.
96) I treasure things that my friends give me.
97) I blog everyday.
98) I'm jobless.
99) I'm bored.
100) I think you reading this am bored too. hehe.

Thank you for your time off. Heh~

Last day of job searching. If I still don't get a job by next monday, I'll just stop looking. Do those 3-4 days temp event promoter stuff(try mah, I don't believe I really cannot talk properly). If I can find.

Then email Ms Soon ask if I can go down to DRC like before and help out. Yup.

Then ask mestre if I can train at NUS too.

And then I'll start relying on my father for a living again.

And I'll play my computer games every morning! WeEeeEee... maybe I might even clean up my room!

Or I might not even get into the uni and I just start studying all over. Hmm... maybe I should be more helpful whenever my sister asks me for help in her maths. Even if it is complex numbers. Who knows, I might need them.

Again got rejected for jobs. Sigh.. seems like my intention of getting myself in a new working environment, trying for new experience, backfired.

But kinda glad I didn't get the job I tried for today. The place is creepy and the job is so not for me.

Job-hunting continues tomorrow. My mother has been really encouraging.. thanks Mother. I should try fast food too... eh?

My friend in the army called me. And glad he did. Otherwise I would really have felt that I wasted the entire day today. Though I spent the whole morning calling so many numbers for so many jobs which I got reject for. Data entry.. cashiers.. even operators again... Realised my dad's company's either really outdated, or just trying to be special. Which company ever uses GDMS for data entry?! Haha.. sadly that's the only data entry experience I have, which no where else is looking for.

CSI moved to Miami! Yeah! No more Sara Sidle! haha...

Bored. Anyone got Flame of Recca comics to lend me?

I'm up early! To look for job yup. Hmm... but I guess I'll still be jobless for a while...

Eh.. juz wondering if those of you reading my blog can see the pics on the right hand column. The 3 pics there.. lemme know yah? Thankie very the much~

Oh and by "popular demand", I have removed the nightcrawler pic. Seems like everyone (including myself) is getting irritated by that pic. Haha...

Sign Language lesson was fun! Heh... and the guy who signs really fast, previously in my neighbour class, is now my classmate! Haha... and my new instructor's really nice, though I like my 1st instructor better. But really, my new instructor's nice, and she speaks! Which is good! Coz she signs really fast, or rather still too fast for me, so I just listen to her. Hehe...

Then there was once when we were signing sentences, and she wanted to test our receptive skills, so she signed sentences for each of us to identify from the text. And it was hilarious, coz majority of us couldn't catch the entire sentences so we were like watching out for the more obvious signs (and most of the time just catch the last word) in the sentence and we got it! Haha... Our instructor knew it, but it was funny. And fun. She signed the sentence, and when we got it, she would ask us which words did we catch and most of the time it was just 1 word in the entire sentence of 9-12 words. Haha...

Den halfway through class while we were practising the passage with our partners, she switched off the lights to get our attention again~ Hehee...

I like the people I meet at class. They're all so so nice. I can just let out my childish side in front of them. =)

I AM B-O-R-E-D..................!!!!!!
Nobody asks me out, nobody talks to me online, nobody msgs me on my hp.

And I've got nothing to do at home. I feel so energised.

And lazy.

Oh God please find me a job tomorrow or I'll just go find that 7-11 job...

BS2 starting in slightly more than an hour. Hmm.. and I didn't revise...

I miss going to work after class. Now I can just go home and slack after class. Sianz...

Today I shall stay at home and waste my life away until it's time for BS2.

Haai... sianz.

K Mulata. Nothing ever happened.

Went for job interview today but got rejected. Maybe admin's juz not for me.

And I actually rejected a job offer by recruitexpress too. Haai... wat am I doing sia..

Oh well.. more job-hunting 2mr. And then it's back to the Singapore Association for the Deaf. Yeap~

Juz now actually wanted to watch Passion of the Christ. But they started this M18 thingy, and my sister couldn't go in. Haha... k oops. Fuckanaded woman larh dun let her in. Waste our time and my money going down and back home. But save my money also larh. Ppl who know me will know I'm quite an anti-christian, though my good friends are christians and I was once in a catholic school.

K dat's all for now.

I'm back! Yep.. Saturday was watching Flame of Recca like nobody's business until it was time for capoeira class. And there were kinda few people around. But the thing was I played with Alif in the roda (which is really something coz if I can I always try to avoid playing with him). Not just once, but twice. But hafta admit, he helps. Intimidating, but he helps. Although half the time I dunno how to react to his movements, it was an experience for me. So far of the corda veges, I only dare to play with Joe. And even den, he still freaks me out. Yes Miudinho, when ur comp's fixed and you read this, yes I'm still afraid of going into the roda wif u, whether u believe it or not. Psychological barrier. Haha..but yah. *bridges away*

K den after capoeira took a taxi home, picked up my dad, passed my uniform to my mother, and took the same taxi back to Fort Canning. And this taxi driver is one hell of a rude piece of shit. And I thought COMFORT cabs have the most courteous drivers. 2157. Dun even think of buying 4D. Won't strike one. Toh Hok Hin. Damn you. *curse & swear*

K went Fort Canning for Deep Purple concert~ I was really excited about it, though I know practically nothing about the group except they're really getting old. And when they finally got started I was kinda worried actually. I don't really know their songs and somehow..er.. hmm... was kinda waiting for the songs that I know (which is quite few). But my dad seemed kinda bored too. (was it really that bad?) But the crowd in the middle were partying all the way. Then came Perfect Strangers and Highway Star, and I saw my dad light up a little. And so I started enjoying myself, like ya noe moving to the beat. But while I was having fun, I saw my dad standing and just watching with his arms behind him. And I was like -harlo we're at a Rock concert?- I think he got the wrong idea of rock arh? But can't blame him. Can see that he wanna enjoy too but he feels weird, coz we were standing in the area where people just stood and watched and maybe move their leg or shoulders a little. Man what are they there for sia? $60 to just stand and listen and watch? I dunno, maybe because it's the first time I'm attending a concert, so I dunno how to react? What a bummer man..but luckily for me, I don't give a shit about what others think about me here. I just partied along like the way I do at the pub.
Ok den one hour into the concert, there was a technical fault. And so the band was delayed for a good 15-20 mins. And the crowd was so rude and impatient. They kept throwing rubbish onto the stage, and were boo-ing and yelling their "why are we waiting"... I dunno about them, but I was kinda relieved coz now the band can rest. I feel so sad for Deep Purple actually. Singaporean audience really.. haai... I thought the young ones are bad, never did I expect older fans to be worse. And my dad had to be one of those impatient people totally pissed off by the crew. Well but they came back up on stage after the long wait, and we got into the mood immediately. It was partying and yelling for me all the way. Feel so sorry for the guy in front of me. Haha. Well they actually ended with Smoke On The Water (expected) but came out again for encore, and did Hush and Black Night! WeEeeHeeEee~~ That did it man! It was a BLAST! Yep! Totally enjoyed myself. I was so hyper, was still jumpin' and skippin' around huggin' my dad and stuff. Black Night was still playing in my head. Haahaa... oh for your info, Black Night is my favourite Deep Purple song. Yup.. can imagine the estacy. Deep Purple could have played so many other songs but they played my favourite! Wahaha... I'm so fortunate sia~ Well, I know my dad felt that he kinda wasted money going for the concert, but my dad was happy that I'm happy. Yup daddy, thanks a whole lot for bringing me there~.
K then we went down to Oceanstar. And honestly, time we arrived there, I was really tired already. Almost falling asleep. I was leaning against the wall, nodding my head to the beat with my eyes closed, only this time I closed my eyes really to get a little nap. Only 2wards the end their lead singer of the band dedicated the song to my dad and myself did I wake a little to finish listening to the song. And after the 2nd set, I went downstairs (the pub was on the 2nd floor) and sat at the steps and slept a little while. My dad thought I was bored. *rolls eyes* I was tired from training lah. He even wanted to go home, but I know if he went home before the 3rd set he would keep complaining. =/ So yah I just stopped drinking lest I get any drowsier. And so I do not get any hangover the next day at training. And boy am I glad I stayed behind. There was Black Night again! Heh~ And guess what? Faizal came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahahahaaa... in his handsome waiter uniform~ Then the band played Holy Diver as their last song!. Wohoh~ And I'm falling in love with the song Mistreated. Yep.. nice night. But I was totally washed out. Went home, washed up, and fell asleep immediately. *poof*

Oh man.. my upper arms and the area around my waist are aching...and my butt too. The bones at my ankles and shins are like coming loose and then I hafta click them back more n more often. Joys of a good work-out.. =)

For someone who blogs more than once a day, not blogging yesterday is MIA-ing for quite some time yeah? Internet probby larh. But solved it le. Hehe.. lucky me.

Thought process through capoeira class...:
There were only 8 ppl at capoeira class today. There was so much space in the dance studio. Mestre was teaching us the instruments for the 1st hour. Den the nxt hour we got into the 3 lines and he taught us all the acrobatic movements. Yeah.. 2dae was more of acrobatic training. Of which I totally suck, couldn't get into a single move, mestre kinda ignored me, until the s-dobrados came in and I managed to at least get my feet off the ground, and he got a little encouraging. I couldn't even practise the handstand part properly, mestre tried to help but I think I hit him when I lost my balance(wat's new..?). But a few pts to note, I managed to open up my legs when doing the au on the right, managed to feel the momentum when trying to do this spinning handstand (dunno wat lah.). Yeap. Acrobats... today we learnt the fundamentals (to me) to get started... den did lotsa meia lua de compassos, could practise quite a bit. Must remember to go lower..control my balance.. yep. Today's training made me realise how far behind I am in capoeira. But it also made me realise what I can actually achieve if I dare to try. And try harder...

Maybe now that my sister's married and her room's empty, can ask my dad to buy me a sandbag. Den I can train martelos n stuff, den I won't juz keep hitting air and not know where to focus my strength on...

Glad that I saw a really nice side of the thai guy today. He's really sweet.. and I got to play with him in the roda today and he wasn't too tough on me.. nice. Farewell my aquaintance. =) Salve!

After class, went in search of the sunset. Yup.. haven't mentioned yet, but I was feeling like a robot programmed to go where I'm supposed to go again today. All because I read this blog entry, and got me lost in thoughts again.
And because of that blog entry, I went in search of my 'morphine'. Yup, sunrises and sunsets. And because capoeira class ends in the evening, of course, sunsets would be my painkillers. And guess what? I actually followed the colour of the sky, and found a beautiful sunset. Yup... it's amazing how the beauty of the sunset at boat quay was able to warm up the then stone-cold heart of mine. Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you so much.

K my dad bought me another bear. Bear in Police uniform. I don't really like it larh. Reminds me of my secondary school days. Some of the most dreadful days of my life. But yeah, thanks dad. I love you, not the bears that you give me. Hmm.. with the exception of the Land Rover bears. I really love those a whole lot.

Yuppiez... later then blog abt the Deep Purple concert. My dad was disappointed by it, but to me, it was a BLAST~!

I'm hooked on Flame of Recca~ Haha.. so outdated sia. Saw the VCD at my friend's place so I borrowed it, since he said he not watching it and I could take it. =P

Min ah, dun tell Mummy I went my friend's place horh. >_0

So surprised I managed to wake up at 6am MYSELF even though I slept after 4am just now. Set the alarm, reminders and wat have I before I went to sleep at (yup) 4am, and the vibration on. Den I somehow got woken up and juz nice saw my fone lights blinking. Rare that I am able to wake up sia.. esp since I had so much alcohol before sleeping. But yep I got up, showered and went out. Met a friend for breakfast, den went his place, den he fell asleep, and I played wif his new computer, and then I went home. And yah nothing else happened. Wondered why I still felt I had fun. Haha..

Paint is a very fun programme in a new computer. =P

Morning! Hmm.. 1st time in a long while, even after so much whisky soda, even though my face is burning, I'm not tired! Wohoh! It was hyper down at Oceanstar just now!

Let's see... When I reached there Ree-Ha was having their break after 1st set. 2nd set started and my dad told them to play my 2 favourite songs and they hit the nail on the head! Wohoh! 1st song - Sunrise, 2nd song - Holy Diver. I juz lUuURUuuvE them sia!! K den wat else.. hmm Burn, Perfect Strangers, Black Dog, Sweet Child O' Mine, Black Night... Den during the 2nd interval, got msg from my idol! Muahahaa... dat kept me smiling to myself I think the ppl there think I drunk or something. Den 3rd set was helluva great! 1st song - Still Loving You. I LuRvE sCoRpiOns! Then Stormbringer, then Faizal was there! Yup the Faizal who got me listening to Ree-Ha back when I was still 16 years old. It's been 3 long years man.. and he still remembers me! WeEhehhHEee...~ Yep he sang Smoke On The Waters and Stargazer. And they were BEaUtifUl... Man I'm so glad I went down today! It's not everyday I get to see Faizal~ And it's not everyday I could get myself groovin'. I had totally so much fun~~!~!~!

Hehe.. and my dad's learnt his lesson. I kept telling him "u better change before u sleep arh. If u juz collapse on ur bed again like the last time I'm not going to talk to you tomorrow." Hehe.. he changed, washed up, before going to sleep. Love ya daddy~ *muAckz*

2 1/2 hrs b4 I wake up again... haai...

Oooh yeah~ Juz what I've been waiting for all these weeks! For my dad to come home and to go clubbing at night now that I'm no longer on e night job! K gotta rush!

Oh Happy Easter everyone! (though I don't celebrate it. heh)

Good Morning! Just called some place for a job. That's it. Job-hunting ends at that today. =P I'm so lazy...Now must keep exploring MS Excel.

Went back to the factory yesterday. Actually before that went Huimin's place, wanted to take factory bus back there for the last time, but I got lost (as usual) before reaching her place so yah we missed the bus. *so sorry!* Oooh but we met the astroboy of line 3 on the bus! Haha... idol-craze again.

Okie.. den reach the factory le. And me went to open the locker again, and haha silly me still so hopeful that there will be a pay-slip for me... but there isn't. =( Violet can I have my payslip back? *pleads*

So happy to see Shihui & fishcake & Cory. And everyone else I once knew. Fishcake even remembers the "wat's hell" and misses it! Aw man... it's not everyday someone misses something I said... Oh den I gave BFG his present. Haha.. coz before that I lied to him online that he has to help me pass a present to someone, so he was asking who the present is for then I said it's for him. Haha.. cute ah Ray... And I gave didi his present, without saying anything. Wait for him to tell me what he owes me 1st. Though I guess already know the things that happened and how he feels. Stupid shit. If he still belittles me, I'm seriously just gonna leave him alone, if that is what he really wants. He's not outcasted. I can leave him already. Haha.. *evil grinz*

Oh den for the first time I called for Roy when he was around. Usually it was him who says hi first. Yeah thought I should wish him a belated birthday personally since he was right in front of me. And I shook his hand and (harlo!) his hand is so smooth can... my palm feels like sandpaper tearing at his silky smooth hand. *regretz* Anyone know of any treatment?

OooOOohh... I was kinda disappointed when Huimin said she so happy she saw her idol, coz I didn't see mine. But he reappeared! (wahhaa..majiam some magic show) And yah I saw him again larh. Before I left for home.

And Huimin! You took my "slave to my inferior complexity" and wrote it in fishcake's autograph book! Copyrights Reserved one ok! hmmp! =P To think I had wanted to save ur ass.. haha..

K.. 2 days to Deep Purple concert! Wohoh!

K song. This is probbly the most common of the Deep Purple songs. Most people learn this song as their first song. Yep.. Nice.. ranking 2!
"We all came out to Montreaux
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
To make records with a mobile
We didn't have much time
Frank Zappa and the Mothers
Were at the best place around
But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground
Smoke on the water, the fire in the sky
Smoke on the water

They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound
Funky & Claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
But Swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race
Smoke on the water,the fire in the sky

We ended up at the Grand Hotel
It was empty, cold and bare
But with the Rolling truck Stones thing just outside
Makin' our music there
With a few red lights and a few old beds
We made a place to sweat
No matter what we get out of this
I know, we'll never forget
Smoke on the water,the fire in the sky

Smoke on the water, the fire in the sky" -- Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple

Of course, with the concert in 2 days... gonna recommend more. Here's another one, Ree-Ha knows I like this song coz I will request for it everytime I'm there. So at times when they see me, I didn't have to request, coz they'll know to play it for me. =) My dad likes this song too~
"Can you remember
Remember my name
As I flow through your life
A thousand oceans I have flown
And cold, cold spirits of ice
All my life, I am the echo of your past

I am returning
The echo of a point in time
Distant faces shine
A thousand warriors I have known
And laughing, as the spirits appear
All your life, shadows of another day

And if you hear me talking on the wind
You've got to understand
We must remain
Perfect strangers

I know I must remain
Inside this silent well of sorrow

A strand of silver
Hanging through the sky
Touching more than you see
The voice of ages in your mind
Is aching, with the dead of the night
Precious life, your tears are lost in falling rain

And if you hear me talking on the wind
You've got to understand
We must remain
Perfect strangers" -- Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple

mUahAhahaa... talk about coincidences! I just clicked on the profile of this girl in friendster, and the guy who likes her comes online on MSN. Haha majiam know I peeping at his gal lidat. So farni...!!!

Haha.. ok cheap thrill.

What have I done today? Dad says itz not nice to have me down at his workplace to help him, so I slept through the morning and didn't go down in the end. Stupid dad. Make me all excited abt nothing. =(

Then went to collect my debit card. Wee-o-weet~ Haha.. ok dat was embarrassing coz I like walked into the bank, walked to and fro, den decided to approach the counter coz like not many people, den I just started asking what to do to collect my card when I realised I was actually talking to a policeman sitting down instead of the staff there. Haha.. so paiseh!! Hmm.. I'm juz so attracted to Malay policemen.. (but tocador's an exception. Haha..) but yeah got it eventually. Hehe..

Den went army market, see where got place to engrave that stupid lighter for that dumbass of an angel =P Found a place but didn't engrave in the end. Er.. dunno whether will spoil the lighter not.. so think I gonna check out more places 1st..

Since I at army market, I went down to Bugis. Get pressie for BFG. Realised I didn't give him anything when I left. And he's one of the nicest of the little boys I've gotten to know at work, so yup. Went to this Gift-a-name shop. Haha.. was looking at the minimana figurines when the shop auntie shouted to me "eh if you dun wanna buy u're not allowed to look hor!" Didn't occur to me that she was playing so I was like ok I'm buying. She was on the phone lah, den when she put down the phone she came over to me and apologised, explaining to me that she thought I was her friend coz from the back we looked alike. Den she so scared I angry with her coz she's not supposed to say that to customers. Hahaa... but yeah I bought the figurines in the end. She so cute, I initially very pissed off oso feel so paiseh being the subject of her joke. Haha.. k now I look like a friend of an auntie.

I'm an auntie sha1 shou3! Hahaa...

K now I'm home.. waiting for time to pass..

This is such a joke. And I am such a curse. Updates from the ppl still working at that dumb (yet once beautiful) factory. Shuai didi's in shipping. Biker didi, Liu De Hua & Roy got terminated. & didi didn't tell me anything. Hmm... I really cannot favour people sia. The ones I favour more get terminated first. I always say of the 4 of them, I favour elmo most, den ah beng, den liu de hua, den shuai didi. And they got terminated in the same order. And recently when I thought Roy's nice, he too got terminated. No regrets quitting le lah. Just wish I get a job soon...

2mr maybe going back there...dunno for wat oso. I dun miss anyone. Dun wanna miss anyone anymore. Miss somemore and more will go.

K... other stuff. Aron Aziz cried on Heartlanders! *mEga HeArtaChe!!* ok the show looks fake, sounds fake, neighbours r like crap, plot's so predictable, Aron Aziz such a painful role...and I never did watch Heartlanders actually. Heh. Still.. *hEaRtaChE aAaahHhh...* Only started this season coz sis said Aron Aziz will be seriously injured. Haha I like seeing my idols acting as injured people. But still... I juz crumble when I see guys cry...

Kk back to attempting to clear my room...

Me am home. Wanted to go collect my card but it started raining. So yup. I am home. Play game!

Okie juz now early morning went zoo with some kids from some special school near my dad's workplace. And Violet n Dawn n Huimin were there. Was feeling kinda redundant until I became responsible for this boy. He's fun. I can't understand him (think he's born deaf or something), but he tries to lead many times. Sweet... like big brother lidat. And oh he understands simple sign language! I signed 'yes' & 'no' to him and he understands! wEehee.. den he's such a darling. Like when we have to eat, he offered me his food but I din take it. Then when he wanted to go to the toilet, he held on to my hand for support.. aw man... den on the bus on the way back I wanted to fan him and he like stopped me, telling me that he doesn't want. Sweet sia...

Maybe coz he's hard of hearing, or maybe coz I was nearly born to be like him, all these little actions touch me dearly. And even though I failed trying to carry Violet's cousin, (haai...) I still like to carry kids. Yeah I dun like kids that can walk. Especially these days, once kids can walk, they can ride on heelys everywhere and irritate every single strand of hair on me. -_-" <--no more eyebags!

K den went this recruitexpress place to find job. Or watever it is... so embarrassing... hope I just get some sit-at-a-computer-and-get-fat-everyday job. And this job had better not clash with my Sign Language course!!

2mr going my dad's workplace to help him out. Heh.. I like to work there and not get paid. =P

It's only 4 days to Deep Purple's Concert! Wohoh!

Am finally finished with the present. Made a lotta mistakes while writing the list of songs in the cd. So yah lotsa spots of liquid paper. But dun care le lah... heart no longer ache with each error made le.

Yep after chatting with some people a few hours back.. realised I've been writing too much on my blog. Shall keep the personal ones to myself in future. Yup.

So I'll try to make this entry a final on my angel. Yup. To everyone who thinks him good-looking, I thank you for him, he'll be happy to hear that. But I dun like good-looking people. They make me inferior, and I feel he deserves someone much better than me. May we stay friends forever yah?

K.. sleep...

I got a panda teddy!! Yeah!!! My dad's home from shanghai! Hmm.. so I do have my camera after all. Heh.. paiseh ah Violet. I really din know my dad coming home tonight. (what kind of a daughter am I?!) Haha.. nah just wanted my dad to be on holiday as long as possible. All his life he's been slogging his guts out being the sole breadwinner of the family. Though he's travelled much, they were mostly business trip. Now, finally, a holiday. =)
And besides the panda, I got a krab, a 'multi-purpose survival tool' thingy(it's piece of metal with blade edges n dunno wat else), a fake mont blanc pen, and a T-shirt with chinese characters! YippiE!!!

Was supposed to go look for job today but too lazy le. In the end play game.. den now still doing my di's present. Really like it quite a bit..

Wonder if anyone out there has an injured left wrist... coz whoever it is, I'm feeling his/her pain.

Oooh.. I got my confirmation letter from SADeaf! Yeah going for BS 2 next week! Now I needa start revising my sign language again..

And yeah Maybank called! I'm gonna get my 1st debit card soon! Siao arh dunno whether good or bad news. The card just had to come when I'm jobless and not getting money from my dad.

K... lookin' for things to do tonight...

Oh... another song. Slow one again.
"Sweet child in time, you'll see the line
Line that's drawn between good and bad
See the blind man shooting at the world
Bullets flying taking toll
If you been bad - Oh Lord I bet you have
And you've not been hit oh by flying lead
You'd better close your eyes aahouh bow your head
Wait for the ricochet
Ooh ooh ooh... " -- Child In Time by Deep Purple

Nice... got my nick in it! Heh.. k.. enjoy.

harlo! I'm bored. Again. As usual. What's new...?

Ok.. capoeira class was very different today. We had no lights! No music! And intensive training! Well.. not so. But for me? Of course lah! I'm lousy remember? Work on the Aus baby... u managed a couple... haai...

Ok so my didi ain't gonna get a nice present. Why? Coz I screwed up again. Ruined the picture, now the cd too.. computer idiot as well sia. Pekcek..

Sleepin' late 2nite..

I...am...so...pissed...! I give up. The picture is ruined. I actually thought the puppy looks cute. But the words just had to spoil it. And I had to be the one to spoil the words. I totally give up. I should just stop trying to be an artist when I'm not even close at all. Fuckit.

Time to leave the house.

Just had to blog this early in the morning. Had a dream. Dreamt I was back at work again. This time there was no shuai didi. And I wasn't doing QA stuff. We were in this library like place can't remember doing wat kind of work. And Huimin was in it. And Wendy. And Liu de hua too. He was dressed like a monk, agreed upon by Huimin and myself in the dream. Haha.. But best of all, there was auntie jiejie. And even better still, we hugged for so long in the dream, it felt so real...

I miss auntie jiejie so so much...

K leaving the house soon.

Capoeira class was a little... different today... coz most of e ppl came after a performance (which I didn't know of), somehow I felt weird. I'm a corda crua and I didn't know of it(?). Yeah... left out. Mulata I feel it too alrite..?

Finally got my left leg a little higher today while trying the moves (cheap thrill...). Haai no one can understand how every little improvement in the simplest of moves mean to me... but o well... *bows head and sigh*

Did sequences with Mulata, Tempero, Joe n Anis 2dae. Good good.. but I realised how I'm always the one always not understanding the moves, always the one learning and never the one telling the other person how to do it. When Anis knew he had to practise sequences with me again he asked me whether I got it, coz I always never did. So when I told him yah I think I know he seemed rather surprised, but doubtful too. But still.. said before it's good to practise with him although he always stresses me out.

Saw something during the roda today. While Joe n Alif were playing. Saw the fluidity of their movements. And realised one big thing lacking in me in the process of learning capoeira. I'm still entering the roda, thinking of wat moves to make, deciding on wat moves to make den executing it. If I get stopped I still carry on executing it. Haai... when will I ever get it right...

Frustrating... =/

Today is an S-dobrado-less day. Will try the move tomorrow if my right arm gets better. Dunno wat the fucking hell is wrong with it. Air-con or fan. Whatever shit. I like the rain, but every walk in the rain brings pain to my joints. Fuckit.

7 days to the Deep Purple - The Banana's Tour in Singapore.

I'm bored........................................

I wanna play my games but leaving the house in an hour for capoeira class... so yah cannot play. I'm easily addicted to these kind of rpg games, can keep me seated in front of the computer for the entire day! So yah.. control control until I come home again.

Haai.. it's a new month. Needa pay fees again. And I'm so broke... If I dun get a job soon I won't have money to pay for fees.. no money to buy things I want.. then I'll hafta stop going shopping altogether! Geez I'm becoming a girl..suddenly like shopping so much. Ulgh.

Oooh... I'm so irritated with myself. Last night I kept changing the paper on which I'm drawing for the cd cover design for my didi coz I kept erasing too hard den crumpled the paper. Then just awhile ago when I'm almost done with the pic I left the big pencil sharpener on the paper so now the picture's dirtied! Den while trying to erase the dirt marks I crumpled the paper! Again! Argh!!!

Dunno why I'm so particular about this. Grr.. I want to give him a most beautiful present, and I don't wanna give him any chance to criticize abt the thing I'm giving him.

Coz I dun wanna be angry with him for anything...

Blasted headache... it hurts so bad I feel like I could puke my brains out anytime. Result of eating chocolate without drinking water...

Today is a wonderful day. 'cept my ankles and feet hurt too, though not as much as my head. 'cept that I'm peeling from sao mu-ing day. 'cept I lost the only n only friendship band that my sister made me.

Met Huimin at the MRT stn near my place, den took a bus down to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Den went some of the routes. Time and day we went there was great, not many ppl. In fact, most of the time, there wasn't anyone around. Peaceful, quiet, not intruded by long-tailed macaques! And I saw a monitor lizard, a skink and quite a few squirrels! I'm so lucky.. hehe.. k den we got lost but still managed to find a way to get to the place I wanted to show Huimin. Yep then it started raining. And luckily we found our way out of Bukit Timah Nature Reserve before the heavy downpour. Heh.. den we went for ice cream! Teh Tarik flavour very nice. Yup Huimin we must go back some day.

Den we went into this toyshop there and bought a whole lotta woodcraft, and this 4D puzzle thingy of a cat. Now I'm gonna start a collection soon.. hehee... damn I need money and a job. Mulata I'm gonna look for some petrol kiosk job.. and if it doesn't work out den I'll try another factory. Any petrol kiosk wanna hire me?

Oooh den we went Bugis. And Huimin met her friend. And we went shopping! But I was controlling myself coz yup I cannot spend money le!!

Haai.. wonder if SADeaf received my cheque...

Gonna go sleep soon... my head's gonna blow.

10x Huimin for the company this afternoon. Sorry we couldn't go Big Splash.

oOoOoooohhhH... I met transvestites! Yup.. was in the bus on the way home and these 2 I think guys sat behind me on the bus. I dunno abt the one with tied hair, but the other one is definitely a transvestite. I think they're from thailand, strong thai accent. At least, they didn't sound singaporean. Actually.. i oso not sure. Shld listen to the things they mention...Flowers...pink...winning the lottery...then they were laughing really loudly... when other ppl start looking back every now and then, u'll know they're different from others. Aw man... cute things they are.

To think while I was trying to figure out who they remind me of the moment I heard their voices, I thought of this classmate of mine.. yeah guess Violet knows who. I am SO MEAN...

Went TM/CS today. Bought a lighter, not exactly the one my angel wanted but heck. Anyone know where I can do engraving for lighters, if I already bought the lighter?

Ooh.. bought Famous Amos cookies again. But Wisma Atria's still the best. Haai... 2nite I miss buying cookies for fishcake, and miss Shihui's smile whenever she eats them...

I feel so tempted to go for another factory job...

But for now.. hooked on a game.. hehee...

So sad to realise this only now... that actually the Roy at work is not only a real good-looking guy, he's also really a nice guy at heart. Should have realised this since that dinner at BREKZ. Man I should have gotten him something. At least, for his birthday.

Now day time, most accurate time to confirm my feelings. Coz come nightfall, I get lonely, I start thinking things, start missing people whom I will not miss as much in the day... blablabla...

My angel's not the one for me, neither is that somebody else.

Yup. And I shall be a little lazy today. Shall not go out until time comes. Since I'm not meeting my angel too soon. His lighter can wait. =P