oooohh... I look good when I train with my weights. Bleahx. Living in self-denial...

It has been 13 days since my last beer, and 12 days since I started training with my weights. Quite happy larh. Shoulders dun hurt that much. Dun have to click back so often. =) Can last in a handstand longer. I give myself another 2 - 3 months. I will be able to do a handstand properly. But sadly the same can't be said for my Aus.

*of course, still hoping very badly that I can do it. =X*

Today went for the orientation briefing. I am so dead larh. Feel so anti-social in it. I can't laugh along with the group without feeling like "dang it this is not me I don't laugh so easily". Haai...save me...

Oh psychological brainwashing starting soon. Must prepare myself for orientation. Even if they said it won't be tough. =)

Friday need to go back NTU for prep work. Lalaa.. sianz...

Anyone got pri sch kids needing tuition? P1-3 preferably... though... quite hopeless larh here...

To end... Siu Fai called me!!! Heh. So paiseh sia he kept calling my handphone then keep getting cut off until I managed to rush him my home number then he can call back. Coz he called using the SADeaf phone then when I called the number I got the "please press 1 for XXX please press 2 for XXX" message then I dunno which one reaches him!! Anyway told him I wanna go for the Flag day thingy so he'll contact me again! Sadly I told him I cannot make it for the Audiological Volunteers one. Think I can only hear news of it from Dennis le. Haha but so happy!! I was starting to think that he forgot about me but he called!!

K... esctatic. I was jumping all over the house when I was telling my mother that he called. Hehee... of course I'm happy larh. I better make myelf available for it coz my heart will be there even if I have something else on. Even if it is capoeira. =X

Just now after sign language lesson, the bus just arrived at the bus stop and we all plunged into darkness. The roads were pitch black 'cept for the headlights of the vehicles. Traffic lights were down, the lamposts were out. Buildings oso had their lights off. Heh... 1st time experience blackout when I'm still out. The bus driver kept honking to warn cars that he cannot see in front.

Next week exam le. Must really study hard coz next week won't have chance for last minute study le.

Today went down to NTU. Amazing how great an impact the NTU Vertical Challenge had on me. Looking out while on the bus I was recalling places I remember running past during the competition. To think I'll actually be studying in there next month and for the next 4 years. I was so close to not making it there...

Anyway, went to submit my CPF form. The school so confusing sia. Luckily I brought my map along. Still I got lost a while (as expected. =|) before I finally found my way.

Didn't go out to buy the things I needed. Going to buy 2mr then meet Yvonne to go for ODAC FOOT briefing. Hope still can hand in the form tomorrow...

Till then.. tata~

Lalalalaa...

So bored. Whole day in front of computer play game play game play game. Actually wanted to go down to NTU to submit the CPF form oso in the end didn't.

Things to do tomorrow. Exercise. Go down to NTU to submit the CPF form and mail the Edusave form. Buy myself a pair of shoes for trekking. And a swimsuit. Go for Sign Language lesson.

SiaNzzZzz...

On a lighter note... Got a reply from NTU ODAC. =) They said they'll make the necessary arrangements for me so I can still go for my sign language examination next Tuesday! YippieEeee...~

Best of all.. Yvonne's going for the ODAC camp too! So excited! Been so long since I did some trekking... lalala...

Hope I recover soon. Real soon!

Stiff neck. Can't believe the games in neopets kept me occupied for like 3 hours. Dun wanna play le. The pet can fall sick and die for all I care. =P

Sorry ah Huimin... didn't dawn on me how u were feeling today.

I'm still sick. So glad I survived training today. Got rasteira-ed by simpatia.

Today nothing much larh. My sister's exams are along the way. Everyday study until cry. Dunno why she lidat. I can understand her in every way except the way she studies. Study so hard do so well still cry n cry n cry. Maybe if she cry less she'll do better. Crying takes up a lot of energy. So I don't like to cry.

'Friend' oso feeling very stressed. Haiyoh. Everyone around me in school feeling so stressed. Wanna start school soon too den I can feel the stress with everyone.

Happy Birthday Kenneth~ (hope he remembers me...)

Wonder how long XB waited for me last night. Told him I'll be back after midnight to keep him company during his last couple of late nights before he starts school. But fell asleep while waiting for my mother to finish her game on the computer. Guess my sleeping position. Flat on my face! Wonder how I managed to breathe. Think I too tired le. Past few nights pei2 him until 3+am den watch soccer until soccer watches me. Somemore with all these unnecessary stress about the NTU orientation camps...

Training ok. Nice long conversation with tempero after class.=/

So Batizado's set. I'm going for it. Anyone who wants to see me disgrace myself and the culture of capoeira may attend too, but I think you have to pay for the tix or something.=|

My dad got so excited watching capoeira on TV just now. Great... now he's gonna expect me to be able to do what they do in Brazil. Then when I show him that I can't he will go "Oh I thought u learn very long oredi how come still cannot do?" Slap you in the arse ah!

Ooh Huimin came over yesterday. Heh. So fun. Lalaa...She helped me sort out so many of my problems regarding the uni stuff. Thanks for coming over. And for the photo too. Yup.

My didi so nice. Yup my didi. I miss my didi. Lalalaaa...

K training soon. And I'm sick. Sore throat. Cough. Bleahx.

I'm actually confiding in XB. I'll be turning 19 in slightly more than 2 months, and I still can't solve my own problems. Useless. So useless.

Injury please heal faster. And bury everything that has ever happened along with your disappearance. I'm tired enough without you already.

I'm still perspiring. Can't believe how much I can perspire from juz trying to do handstands over and over and over.

Note. The key word is "trying".

Means I didn't succeed. Tried, and tried and tried. Today I decided to try going into a handstand from my right leg, my weaker leg. Bad idea. I'm still too weak. Tried, couldn't go up, fell. God knows how many times I fell. Did it 10, maybe 20 times. The door of my sister's room remained locked for almost an hour. And of that 1 hr, almost 45mins was spent facing the wall. That was how long I tried.

There's seriously not enough time for me. I'm just not good enough to change the colour of my corda(belt) yet. And next month I'm gonna haf to stop training for a month. Maybe even 2. Coz of uni stuff. Coz of the camps. Coz my sign language make-up classes will be on Sundays. Coz of financial problems. Coz I'm so fucking useless can't even find a freaking job. And there's still the opening for Audiological Volunteers, something I really don't wanna miss coz it's like doing everything I ever wanted in my life. To be a volunteer, to help the deaf, and the elderly. It's means more to me, sadly, than capoeira ever did. And I can't go for it coz of uni. Coz of batizado. AaaaAAaaahhhHHhh... all these are driving me crazy.

CPF form..Edusave form..Orientation camp forms..

So many things... so little time...

Someone just knock me in the head and put me in a coma.. 1 year.. 2 year.. 4ever... den I won't have to go to the uni, then my dad won't have to pay for my uni fees, then I won't have to wreck my brains thinking of how I can pay him back the money without a job and a CPF account.

Scary thought. I was just staring at a photo of me when I was younger. I was smiling like an idiot. And I have this strong urge to grab a knife and stab at the photo. And stab at it. And stab at it. And tear it to pieces. That's how much I hate myself. At this very moment.

Can't believe I stayed up to watch soccer. Dumb thing is I fell asleep whenever they scored a goal. So I'll sleep and wake up watching the replay. =|

So much for hoping for a good day. No phonecalls from anywhere and the month of June is already coming to a close. I'm frustrated with myself. I tried, maybe not hard enough but I did try. I even made myself believe that I can but rejection after rejection has proven that I really am that useless. What's with good results if I can't even get employed.

It's my face. I just knew it. Damn it.

This day just keeps going from bad... to worse...

Ladidadida...
Kinda glad that the day ain't turning out good. Eh? Coz I badly need tomorrow to be a good day.

Actually today not a bad day one. Went out for a breather. Shopped a little. On my own. Spent some on chocolates. Heh Huimin's so adorable as a salesperson. It felt so weird being her customer. Heh.

Bought myself a new plaything. Something I've been looking for for a very long time.

Heh...

Haai juz now I go and quarrel with my dad again. Though it's really my fault lah. Now he ignoring me. Oh well... nxt time juz be more careful with his bao beis.

My sis is so irritating. Everyone's so irritating. They care for me but I juz can't seem to be grateful to them. =|
NTU sent a whole load of stuff. The CCAs and lotsa camps to attend. Most of which I'm already too late to sign up for. Haaiz... and I can't seem to find Climbing anywhere. Is there still such a CCA in NTU? Or must I go back to ODAC...? =(

Haiyoh.. I really very blur about uni stuff leh. There's this tuition fee loan thingy that I dunno whether I must send not. I was thinking dun need coz my dad's still earning enough to support my uni fees. So do I still need the tuition fee loan? Then there's this Edusave form I haven't send yet. And the CPF form's still not signed coz my guarantor is coming only on Sunday. -_-"

Haiyoh... den the engineering camp. Hai. Think I must call the person ask if I can leave halfway. Grah.. sianz. dun like to make fonecalls.

Sianz. I wanna shoot some hoops.

Correction.

I wanna LEARN to shoot some hoops. Heh.

Training today not bad. Mestre decided to cut down training time to 1 1/2 hrs instead of 2 so we trained about an hour today coz we started late. Training nice and slow, but for me and Lua we pushed ourselves more because though we are beginners, we ain't newbies anymore, especially for me. 5 mins roda. Mestre finally realises that there's no point getting us to play for 20mins if we've only strength left for 5 mins. And with only 3 ppl, 5 mins is a long time.

Hope I find something meaningful to do tomorrow.

...wonders when /u/ start school...

Hmm.. received a letter from the engineering clubs of NTU. Got this engineering freshmen orientation camp on 5th-10th July. Feel like going, but it clashes with my all important BS3 Exam. Someone correct me on my priorities... =|

Anyway, yesterday's sign language class was slightly different. My instructor misplaced his hearing aid, so start of the class he told us about it. Den can see during the course of the class he'll teach half-way den drift away somewhere in his own world. So poor thing whole time worry about his hearing aid. He was saying that he dun like to wear his hearing aid all the time, unless he's teaching, working or at parties. Said dunno why lidat oso, maybe he dun like noise, gives him stress. Oh ok, den we had dictation today! Instructor signed a para den we write out. Haiyoh.. but in the end become no time for us to practise signing the passage. But then before he gave the dictation, he ask us to practise with our partners, den he was watching my partner and myself practise. So stressful!! But oso good larh, correct us on the spot. Heh. =P

Oh...something funny. Coz during break got quite a few of us gathered in the open space in front of the classroom block, from old class new class classmates, den everyone in a way know each other. Then we talking about my class the instructor...hehee...

me: maybe our instructor was looking at the class list and going "waah all ladies..." den he saw one guy's name den he went "haiyah still got one guy."
guy who's not in my class: haiyoh den who's dat guy ah..
guy who's dat one guy in my class: (shows a diaow face)-_-" me lah!

MuaAhhhAhahaa... everyone standing there just burst out laughing. So farnie...

K den after class. Den me go home wif the guy who's my BS1 n BS2 classmate. Den coz he was student of NTU last time doing civil engineering. Den he told me alot of stuff, say civil engineering these days not much job prospects, especially for my year, coz 4 yrs later civil engineers might be out of job, coz no more projects larh, singapore not much space for much to do larh... blablabla... but alot to think about. 1st time hear him talk until lidat. But his advice really larh, worth thinking about. Maybe I'll work on electronics or mechanical bah.

Late le. Sleep sleep... just now train dumbell forgot to stretch. Now arms trembling abit. tired.

Noting my process on the presents.
Present (1)-
Things needed :
1) 3 figurines
2) Small berimbau
3) 4 walls
4) 1 ceiling
5) 2 pieces for the base
Things completed :
1) 3 figurines
2) 1 1/2 walls

Present (2)-
Things needed :
1) 2 piece wood cover
2) approx. 80days of entries
3) photo of gundam models
4) sketch of receipient
5) drawing of bird, puppy, dolphin, penguin
6) sillouette pic
7) 1st page introduction
8) credits page
9) message page
10) 22 letters for the title
Things done :
1) sketch of receipient
2) drawing of bird, puppy, dolphin

Time to get serious.

Yeah!! New song new song!!

Haai.. still no jobby... I wanna try waitressing actually... anyone knows anywhere willing to recruit waitress without experience?

4 days without beer, 3 handstands... and counting.

Started watching LOTR all over again. See what I missed the last time. Also to see more of Billy Boyd. =) He's acting in an upcoming movie Seed of Chucky. Haii, much as I wanna watch Billy Boyd in the show, it's a horror movie.. so guess I hafta give it a pass.. =(

Just checked my email. SADeaf sent me an email recruiting Audiological Volunteers. But it's so close to school reopening. And then there's batizado that I can't miss. But honestly, I would miss batizado if I could. Hope there's more events from SADeaf soon..

I'm so pissed by this scar that I have and the events that haunt me. Yes they HAUNT me. Like Faceira said, "It's No Big Deal." Sadly, there are loads of people who think it IS a BIG DEAL. I don't want to hear anymore about my scar, about that day, about anything to remind me of what had happened. Everyone out there, STOP ASKING ABOUT MY INJURY! I'm OK! Sadly it didn't kill me...

But I'm not worrying myself with my wound. I've got better things, more important things to worry about. My shoulders. My joints. My joints at my shoulders. Alif and mestre say I shld train some muscle at my shoulders so they don't come loose so easily. So yeah that's my main concern for the next few days...and am aiming to make it last for a month. Just now asked my dad for some weight training pointers. Gonna try them in the nxt few days. Must start doing something to keep them from irritating me. Must not let them restrict me whenever I do anything physically demanding again.

Wonder what can I do tonight... hehe...

Just remembered... no phonecalls... sigh... still jobless... haai... if I ever do find a job... settle my financial probbies... I must tell him... yup. =X Dun ask.

Today.. so glad I have my sister sia. She make me laugh so much I forgot I was supposed to be upset. Then she intro me this game then I play and play until so...bored... heh.

Anyway...I mentioned I was supposed to be upset rite? 1 guess. On a Sunday. Of coz the cause would be capoeira. Especially these days. Frustrating. I don't mean to be inappreciative again, but I can't help but feel like a burden to everyone. Everytime I step into the roda it feels like everyone's eyes are on me, worrying for me, and everything. Then everytime my opponent comes close to hitting me, everyone will exclaim! Then today when dunno who nearly hit me, I saw dunno how many ppl from every part of the roda step in to compra me out. Thanks lah but haai...that makes me feel so useless sia. If I must get hit again, if the wound must open up again, then it will. And I deserve it. Because I refuse to learn, because I refuse to look. Because I so bloody hell refuse to OPEN MY EYES AND LOOK !...AND MOVE AWAY!!

Huimin, luckily I told u not to come. And luckily u didn't show up. I was even on the verge of crying sia. I was this close to being super upset. Went home immediately after class. Sorry Huimin I didn't wait for u. Dun want the both of u seeing me like this.

K then reach home. Locked myself in my sis' room. Took out my weights. Worked out a bit. Then I did the handstand. I always remembered the part in Meteor Garden. The line Hua Ze Lei told Shan Cai. "dang1 ni3 de yan3 lei4 ren3 bu2 zhu4 yao4 liu2 chu1 lai2 de shi2 hou4, zhi3 yao4 neng2 dao4 li4, zhe4 yang4 yao4 liu2 chu1 lai2 de4 yan3 lei4 jiu4 liu2 bu4 chu1 lai2 le.(when ur tears are on the verge of falling, just do a handstand, and ur tears won't be able to flow down anymore.)" Oh well...

Hmm.. the doctor didn't tell me about the white thread that's embedded in my scar. Part of it was exposed and I tugged and tugged at it and now the short little end is like dangling and I can't pull it out any further. =|

Violet I haven't heard from u for so long. Do hope u're fine...take care...

That's abt it. Luckily I have my sister =) She's such a bundle of joy tonight. Heh. Only tonight. =P

School starts tomorrow for Temasek Poly students. Jia you wor, /u/.~

Bad training today. I seriously need to keep my eyes open and move faster. Yesterday training also quite bad. But compared to today, yesterday's better. But on both days...something went on in my mind.

I kept having this thought. Why am I learning capoeira? What do I want to achieve with capoeira? What can I do with capoeira? Do I really love it this much? Will I still love it in time to come? I dun think I wanna play capoeira anymore when I'm 40 or 50 years old..And then I even thought of just stop going for trainings. It's costing too much...taking up too much time... the trainings.. the people.. upcoming workshops and batizado.. even mestre himself... everything's draining me mentally. I don't wanna go for batizado. I don't wanna change the colour of my belt yet. I still wanna be a corda crua, and change only when I am really qualified. Haai...

I have a commitment problem u know. I was thinking, now that I'm learning capoeira and sign language, I can give up 1 training session for capoeira, but I will not give up a single sign language class. I'll even make up for sign language class on a capoeira training day. So why am I still learning capoeira sia...?

Haai.. okie.. that's it. Later still muz continue help my mother wrap dumplings. 2mr still got training. Many of them got performance before training in the early afternoon. Sigh... maybe I'll quit capoeira even before I get qualified to go perform. =(

Heyo~ Anyone interested in watching the plays below? But you have to be 18 and above though. Heh... wanna watch tell me k!


MARDI GRAS and TOP OR BOTTOM
R(A)18 - Explicit Language | Sexual Content

Written by Haresh Sharma
Directed by Alvin Tan
Set Design by Vincent Lim
Lighting Design by Thio Lay Hoon



Mardi Gras
Performed by Irene Ang, Paerin Choa, Jay Espano,
Natalie Hennedige, Koh Chieng Mun, Kumar,
Hossan Leong, Rody Vera, Zahim Albakri

Get your Pride Flags out! Mardi Gras is back!


After a successful sold-out run last year during Singapore's PINK month - August! - this sexycrazycool play is back to make you laugh, cry and gasp!

A group of people come together to organise Singapore's first Pride Parade. They plan to hold the March at the Padang, with dykes on bikes, fags and fag hags, leathers and feathers; they want to shout out loud and be proud.
As they plan, the tension mounts; the cracks in their relationships surface. Jokes turn to bitchiness, which turn to clawing. Are they going to prove themselves to be ONE PEOPLE, ONE NATION, ONE SIN-GAY-PORE...
Or will the rainbow colours represent segregation and prejudice?

"Mardi Gras is witty, inventive, wonderfully alive and richly entertaining as
it throbs with a generous big heart in its celebration of the strengths and
weaknesses of our gay brothers and sisters."
- Happening! (website) review


Top Or Bottom
Starring Paerin Choa, Natalie Hennedige, Kumar,
Hossan Leong, Rody Vera

Mourning is such hard work. You want to cry but you
don't want to be unglam. And what do you wear to
your friend's wake if you have to go to a club after that?

The death of someone special causes a group of friends to re-examine
their lives and their feelings about death. Fundamental questions are asked:
Will I go to hell if I'm a bitch? Am I spending too much time at the Gym?
Can I be gay and married?

The group of friends soon make important realisations:
That you can be married and gay
That you can be friends and use each other
That you can be top and bottom

If you ask nicely, will your friend's corpse come back to life?

To view Publicity Photos, click here.
Discuss Mardi Gras and Top Or Bottom @ www.tnsforum.org


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mardi Gras
Dates: 28 – 31 July, 1 August, 8 pm; 31 July & 1 August, 3 pm
Top or Bottom
Dates: 4 – 9, 11 – 14 August, 8 pm; 7 – 8, 14 August, 3 pm

Venue: Jubilee Hall, Raffles Hotel

Tickets: $46, $36, $26
Discounts for Partners and Members*:
$39, $31
$36 for top price category (5 or more tickets)

Concession Tickets for Students, NSF and Senior Citizens:
$39, $31, $22 (not applicable with other discounts)

Save more with our Pride Packages when you watch both plays!
$46 Mardi Gras ticket + $46 Top Or Bottom ticket = $65 (Save $27)
$36 Mardi Gras ticket + $36 Top Or Bottom ticket = $58 (Save $14)

*Partners and Members:
Discounts availablefor a limited number if tickets through SISTIC outlets only:
OCBC Arts Card Members, People's Association Youth Movement
members, ASA Members and SDEA Members:
- Present your membership card
NTUC Income Insurance Cooperative staff and representatives:
- Present your staff / representative pass
Fridae Members - Quote a special password
JOX customers - Present a JOX receipt (dated between June to Aug 2004)

Tickets available at all SISTIC outlets / 6348 5555 / www.sistic.com.sg / wap.sistic.com.sg. All prices exclude $2 SISTIC fee.

Special Treats!
• The first 100 customers who purchase $46 price category tickets
at SISTIC outlets receive a Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male Tout Beau Tout Propre goodie bag worth $35 (Not valid with other discounts or concessions)
• Only customers who leave their contact details at SISTIC outlets
will be eligible.
• Customers must produce their I/C for collection of goodie bags
from Front-of-House at Jubilee Hall on the day of performance.

Okie.. update. It's been 2weeks since I got the injury. Thanks for all the care and concern. It's healing fine. And here's how it looks like now.


Can't really see huh? It's the faint pink line above the eyebrow. Yup that's how great a job the doc did. Lalaa...

So many things on my mind now. But so busy. Will blog later.

Few mins before I go for class. Juz now went Forum. Hopefully for an interview but it didn't work out again... sigh when am I ever gonna get another job...

Ok wanna blog about this dream I had last night. Wonderful dream. Wish the dream wouldn't end but it had to otherwise I would be sleeping forever. Anyway wonderful dreams cannot be said out. Just that someone was in it. That someone who is the cause of my miserable secondary school life. Someone who made me dread remembering the sec sch days. Yet that someone...saya akan rindu awak... Pleasant dream. Really. =)

Kk gotta fly~

Yesterday... watch The Last Samurai. Quite nice larh.

Then help mother wrap dumplings. Juz finished abt an hr+ ago. Tired. Gonna go zzz soon...

heh.. I'm actually reading up my emails.. and I found this.. reminds me of the code we always use to check the handsets at the dumb factory.


What u do when ur HP is LOST!

A bit of useful information.

Just in case you lose your mobile or it gets flogged.
Did u know this? a little 'get your own back' if you have your mobile stolen.

May be of interest to those Mobile Users among you.

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone

* # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen.

This number is unique to your handset.

Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

Should your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the Sim card your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody did this, there would be no point in
stealing mobile phones.

Please do this now & keep the 15 digit code somewhere safe just in case.

This memo will be too late if you only remember after your phone is stolen.

Virgo Woman

Something I found in an email. I dun like believing in horoscopes larh.. but qutie a bit of what I found in here quite true arh...

VIRGO WOMAN

She will be similar to Leo woman in appearance(yeah my elder sis' a leo and ppl did mention we look alike). A slim(?) woman who walks with confidence and pride. She has an egg shape facial structure, high and round forehead. She likes to look straight as if she is searching. She is not a pretentious type and will always say what she thinks. You will see Virgo woman walks fast. She will try her best to be perfect, to look perfect and to feel perfect even though there is no such perfection. She is very delicate of what and how she dress. She is bright and easily despair with obstacles. She likes smart guy who will be compatible with her, so if you are a rich dumb guy, you can forget about her right now. She is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expect respect(yeah many times I quarrel wif my dad becoz I dun get the respect i expect from him =\) from her love one. She does not like a part time lover, or a temporary mate. If she finds her dream man, she will not go away. If she does not like you, she will always keep a certain distant(poor zy). Act proper and appropriate is her discipline.



She does not like and can not stand bad languages, cursing words or phrase(HUH?! Heh actually not entirely not true lah. I curse & swear alot but I dun like it too.). She likes a gentleman who open the doors for her(yeah...). She wants to feel protected and when a man taking care of her, she will feel like a complete(define complete?) woman. She memorizes everything about other people and about herself very well (i guess so..ppl who went on the Kinabalu expedition can vouch for that). She can really keep secret, you can trust her on this (this one true. Really!!). She likes a refreshing and a mild scent. She is very delicate in maintaining her beauty, so you could see she is seriously picking soap which match and most suit her skin(huh..i dun use soap. heh. And my skin is scarred. wth?). Do not comments her on this very picky habits, it is her happiness in working full times as a self beautifier(wat dis?). She is not an innocent angle for sometimes she can be as tough as steel(yeah.. u wanna fight me?=P).

Even she easily despair, she is not the type to cry over it(yeah i dun like to cry). She is a shy(of course =P) type, so making speech in front of the room can make her nervous even though she walks and talks confidently(this is true, much as I dun like it. Blahx=\). She only search for true love , not just any love. Her love is an ideal one. She likes to think no one is neater and as effective as her, which can irritate you sometimes for there is no such thing. She likes sweet talk, but she can slip and say something unpredictable and unbearable to you too. When she stops getting mad, she will totally forget what she just said and be an angle again. If you have a date with her , you'd better be there on time. Flowers and sweet word can calm her down. If you want to say sorry , make it brief and straight forward. Do not drag your apologetic words into a long making it up events, it could lead you to another world war(muahahaa... war is everywhere I'm around).


She likes her man to dress nice and clean. She is good in details especially with money(?). Do not make she thinks that she is a clown or funny.(?) In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much(so true.. I really dun like that). Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do(absolutely true!!!). She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too. Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress, and the way you talk(k lah this one oso true lah...). If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as you can.

Oooh I juz remembered this dream I had last night. So funny. Huimin was in it. I tink robin was too. Then I was showing her how to sign "robin" (as in the bird) and "penis" coz I learnt those 2 words (and of course a whole lot more) during tuesday's sign language lesson. Heh... think I too eager to show her le.

My sign language instructor is funny. super funny. He was teaching us to sign "tail" Then the motion of the right hand is left to right and vice versa mah. Then he started laughing to himself and then to the other only guy in class. Then he said that if we sign moving our right hand up and down it's "penis". Heheh... so farnie sia the way he show us.

And the sign for "tortoise" is soooooo cute!!! And "Jaws" is juz fascinating. Heh...

What a dream...

I survived training today!!! But it wasn't really training larh. Coz we got locked out of the dance studio, we trained at the open area outside some hall I tink. TKD behind, some dancers in front. We had no capoeira music. Instead the dancers were dancing to some jap song. Mestre didn't change today. So we were training on our own then he juz watch around and correct us. Pain arh sweat in the wound. But den... shiok ah! I tink I look more. Like really look more. Think I look more than I defend myself. Mestre kept reminding me to cover my face. Haiyoh but cover cover... still cover until eye level only, oso nvr protect the area where I got hurt. But yeah lah must cover. =| Feel so bad that I lost Hasibah $1 to the NUS vending machine...

Oh... had the most wonderful bus ride home. Non-aircon bus. Windows were open. Bus was going fast one the long stretches of roads without stopping. Super nice feeling sia... long time since I was n a non-airconditioned bus.

Heh. I so naughty today again. Bluff the job person I not free to go for interview becoz I actually not very keen on the job...

Today finish making 1 of the 3 presents I haf to make. Not very nice arh. Quite disappointed in it. But it's juz a fathers' day prezzie larh. Wonder what I shld get for my brother-in-law. Juz make the same thing?

Tomorrow make dumplings! 1st yr making without my sister. Hope the dumplings I make won't fall apart again arh...

Sign Language course fun fun.. badly need to start revising for the exam.

Notti me today arranged for job interview but decided to forfeit it. Oh well...

So many presents to make. So little time. Must jiayou 2nite le.

Yesterday went to watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Super nice leh!! But would have been nicer if I hadn't been holding my bladder during the last hour of the movie. Fred and George are sooooo charming!!

Happy Birthday Mummy! Wish u get fatter then I won't be the fattest in the family!

Can't wait for the wound the heal. Now everytime I sneeze must hold the wound together otherwise it feels like the top and the bottom of the wound like 2 different parts of the skin. Heh..

"hmm how come ting has stoppped blogging le... been a few days.. so unlike her.." -gErliNe

hehee..MIA a few days only, ger suspect something le. But I'm BACK!! Went through hell on earth sia. Worse than getting the cut on my head. My internet was DOWN!! From thursday to this morning sia.. which explains why I haven't been blogging or even online.

Today... supposed to be at Substation to sit in during class, but didn't go down. Mummy's birthday, and the guy fixing the computers is coming.(Oh the computer guy's entering NTU at the same time as myself! But he going into EEE while I still 1st Yr Common) So I stayed home. Okok.. I lazy larh. Anyway kinda wished I were down at Substation, coz a friend actually made a surprise visit to my house! He called my house den told me to go to the door and there he was! *rolls eyes* I'm sorry I'm not the least bit appreciative larh but I dun really like having people just appearing at my doorstep without letting me know beforehand. I don't think it's sweet. Even if it is my good friend at the door. Actually... maybe it's coz it's him larh. If Ger or Huimin were to appear I'd probby be elated. Or my didi. Heeh.. Yeah my didi.. But him... the more he tries to make me happy the more hianzz I get. But o well... he brought fruits for my mother. And he got me 2 beautiful candles.(yeah this time they're really beautiful!!) But U see ah.. if u drop by so suddenly, I'm not prepared for ur arrival. And especially when I'm doing things and have to still be around for you... I dun like being a bad host but u made me one. U know how @%!@#$! I feel? So my sis was like "he very sweet horh? U injured then he come all the way here to visit" and I'm like "sorry lah that doesn't change the way I treat him." He's just a friend. A very close friend. But that's it. Hmm.. hope it doesn't upset him too much shld he find my blog.

Wah such a long complaint. So much for being nice. Heh. =X Poor guy huh.

That's for today. Now for past day's events. Quite a lot of things happen lah.

Thursday(Internet down Day 1) : Spent the afternoon making agar agar for Farhan's chalet. Initially din wanna go coz u noe lah I not very close to ODAC ppl. But well...coz Farhan was so sincere about it.(then had me making phonecall after phonecall to the place +_+) So I went loh. Reach there around 7+. Oh and I didn't get lost! Hahaa.. so impressed with myself. =P Then it was fun coz 3sa, Yvonne and Eleanor were there. And I really miss talking to them. Coz they went M'sia for some community involvement thingy.. then hear them talk about it like so fun! Then Joyce and Rice came. And Francis(this guy still can make me feel comfortable anytime anywhere..) too. (got other people also lar but if I want to mention all this blog won't end) Then got talk about uni stuff loh. I really very lucky le arh. and Yvonne's going to NTU engineering too! Then I stayed over with the girls. They were playing card games and Andre and Jason were so funny. Playing those qian bian games. But I scared I will get too ji1 dong4 arh coz my wound still hurts a bit. So while they were playing I kept myself busy with the drawings for my friend's present. Heh.. den got drink vodka. So funny. Us girls like drink n drink. Eleanor dun drink one oso got influenced. Andre's a super good cook sia. Nicest onion rings I ever tasted. And Em, nice punky hairdo. And erm.. Aisyah's a nice girl lah. Dun shudder next time you hear her name k? Ok 3sa's so funny too. She said I was trying to draw my eyebrow den draw crooked den got the line there... haha.. never tot of that before loh...

Feelings after the chalet? *bittersweet* =) Thanks Farhan for having me there.

Friday (Internet down Day 2) : Still at the chalet in the morning. Slept at 3+ almost 4 am. Woke up at 10. Checked out. Headed for Orchard to get my stitches removed. The nurse was so funny. I wouldn't say she's nice larh. But she made removing the stitches fun though not entirely enjoyable. She's very skilful no doubt about it. Coz there were about 12 I guess. She was counting as she cut the stitches but coz I giggled and moved, she stopped counting. But yeah removing the stitches was fast. Could only feel stitch number 7 being pulled out. The rest she when pull out I oso dunno. So lihai rite!! Okie then I went back to CJ meet Dez collect A lvl cert. Then we went Far East eat claypot rice. Wait for the rice wait super long sia. So we talk larh. Not a lot, but quite a bit. He's changed. Not a lot, but still changed. But he's more bearable now. And he looks so much better now. Felt he quite shuai4 now. Made me wonder why I never really felt that way about him during the 1 1/2 yrs in the same class. Anyway after lunch it was getting kinda boring coz we were just walking around, nothing much to talk about, nothing much he wanted to do. Then he wanted to play pool, which I most absolutely dislike. But I accompanied him anyway, coz we're just waiting for time to pass until his friends contact him. Then 1st game he played alone. Den I see he like so sianz..so I ask him to teach me larh. And surprisingly he was really super nice about it loh. Den I play wrongly oso he like never mind gimme chance. Haha.. den I buay paiseh oso. Well.. I dunno about him larh, but 1st time I had fun playing pool, even though I got thrashed by him 3-0. But still... bleah won't play pool again. Still dun like the game. Lalaa... Then after that he go off to meet his friends le. While walking to the bus stop we kinda like talked about him. Coz he was feeling kinda pessimistic about himself, and somehow most of his friends always laughed at him coz he's the quiet shy type of person. That kind of feeling that I understand but his friends don't. So he was saying "that's why u're my good friend." Hmm.. even after how I've treated him? Anyway.. felt kinda glad that we could spend the day together. See? That's how I am with friends I don't see often. Even though we're not close, I still feel happy going out with him. ziyang shld try to understand that about me sia. So disappointed in him sometimes. His desire to see me and be with me overrides my feelings. Sorry lah but in this case, I think of myself 1st. =
Saturday (Day 3 Internet down) : Went down to Substation. Watched training. Falacao, tempero, tocador and sereno gave me a little something, coz of the stitches I got. Falacao made it. It's this little booklet, pretty much like a comic strip, that tells of what happened last Sunday. It's so funny. I was laughing to myself when I saw it. They are such kids man. =) Thanks anyway. Then during class, mestre kept focussing on the moves, and he kept pin-pointing faceira to note, I felt so bad. Like I get the injury coz I made the wrong move and she gets the blame. Ok that's part of why I didn't go down to Substation also larh. Then that's it. After class I sat around abit. Talked to Melissa.. about that day... then we headed towards Cityhall.. den I went home le.

Only to find the internet still down!

Okie... friend's back from Korea. And he got me a present! That's what he told me larh. So yah better hurry on his. Heh.. no sleeping tonight!

And erm.. my injury? Stitches removed. The tape that was over it after the stitches were removed, I removed them just. And there's not much of a scar under it. Surgeon did a super good job! Though it still hurts a little, I should be up and jumping real soon!

Just realised I did the last post unnecessarily. Not because the apology was not needed, but because no one who's present at the Substation on sunday reads my blog. Heh. Oops. Guess I gotta apologise when I go back on Saturday to return mestre his pandeiro.

And I just had this ridiculous realisation, that I can't yawn or sneeze without feeling the pain from my wound. There would be this sharp pain and my stitches will feel like they're being forced apart. WTH?! Now I can't even sneeze? Heh...

I wanna say sorry to everyone who got scolded by mestre on Sunday for not accompanying me to the hospital. I wasn't expecting mestre to get angry over that... so sorry...

Such a boring day today. Watched the special features of TTT and ROTK, feast to the voice of Billy Boyd. *croons..* Then started on my presents again. There's something about his eyes that makes it so hard to draw...but my skill's limited anyway. O well.. so sad... I was so close to making it such a good attempt.

Remind me not to attempt any long bus rides within the week. My wound feels as though it could split open. Today keep getting boughts of headaches... come suddenly and goes silently...sianz...

Ok... this message is for those who linked me to their blogs under riconassience2.blogspot.com. Can change the link to rhetorical-arse.blogspot.com already. Sorry for the inconvenience caused yah.

Lalaa... back from BS3 lesson! I got the most sought after male instructor! Wahahahaa...!!! So funny. Us ladies were like crazy over him during our BS2 class when he came to borrow the tables. And since then we've been contemplating transferring over to his class. And now, we're really IN his class! Hahaa... And he's really funny. But haiyoh.. lotsa work to do man. Major sign language exam is coming. Today 1st lesson already start preparing us for the format of the exam. Teach us how we'll be graded and stuff. I sign until I so panicky! Must practise alot le.

Thank simpatica today for asking me how I am. And ger too. Heh.. me am so blessed with such wonderful company. =)

Yeah... juz remembered. Huimin said I bled for my passion. Passion for capoeira. Say until so nice, when actually it's becoz I made a wrong move that caused me my injury. I will learn from my mistake too..

And I realised my left eyelid is not only swollen, but the eyelid itself and the area surrounding it is bruised. Result of too much ice? Advice anyone?

"Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow
Cloud and shape
Hope shall fail
All shall fade" -- Pippin in Return of the King

This song is so nice sia... I'm crazy..

Ok.. going for Sign Language course soon. Hope my wound stops hurting... =\ So troublesome everytime I wanna pick up something from the floor I must squatt to reach it. If I bend down my forehead feels as though it'll split apart. Weird feeling arh...

Devina's over at my place rite now. Sleeping on my elder sis' bed. Had such a fun time juz now viewing the videos she took while in Tasmania. And the photos. Oh and we took a photo of my stitches!



Yeah.. so gross. And oh thanks to Devina and Ratna again for the concern. Yup. Haiyoh the list juz goes on and on.. to Dez..Siewmen...Ger..Shouhua..Xiaobai.. kiraku.. though Xiaobai is I msg him one larh. Heh. Yeah thanx everyone.

And to Faceira too. Poor girl sia. She kept asking me how I am yesterday and msged me again just now. It must feel terrible being her.

Joe, Ger and Kiraku said the same thing to me ah. Avoid Soy Sauce. K now I noe if got scar cannot take dark sauce.

OK.. now serious. I really must thank God for protecting me. Much as I don't believe in God, God has protected me. She was so close to hitting my temple. I was so so lucky..

Lalaa.. time to sleep...

Isn't he adorable...? Aww... I juz wanna keep watching LOTR over and over just to hear his voice. Especially when he sings... Can't believe he's already 36! But then again, 36's not really that old yeah?

Then... Hui Min u are so cute too. Moment I woke up this morning I checked my hp flooded with your concern. Thanks for the well wishes. Deeply appreciated. And from Devina and Farhan too. Thanks all of you.

Never had a more tiring day doing nothing but eating corned beef the entire day. Can't keep my left eye open without propping it up with my finger.

Eye-candy. Spent quite some time looking up pics of Pippin. Hehee.. Then juz now watch the special features dvd from FOTR. Orlando Bloom is so cool sia, with his mohawk hairstyle...

Shall try to continue with my friends' presents. One's back and another's leaving yet the presents for both of them still undone...

"All will learn the mistake. We learn from your mistake too. Hehee." - Joe
"Rem, dun take soy sauce, or any dark sauce.. plenty of fish n soya seems like a gd idea." - Joe again.
"we dedicate da followg songs 2 u - scartissue by red hot chilli peppers, blood on da dance floor by MJ. Love, sereno, tocador, falacao n tempero." - yeah the 4 of them.
"we call u stitch fr now on. he he. fr. happy tree friends." - still the 4 of them. =_="
"Hei there, hope u ok now. Get well soon ok, hope 2 c u in klaz soon. Take care." - Sereno.
And Faceira and even Mestre called to ask how I am. Man I'm so touched. And so paiseh for the commotion I caused.
Ok... shall not leave out ziyang coz his concern for me during the time I was in hospital was... er... heartfelt. Thanks my dear..

So tired. Gonna go catch some snooze and blog abt the day later.

For all out there who are feeling puzzled, those above were the well wishes I received from my fellow capoeiristas. Because I got meia lua de compasso-ed in the head and got a 4 cm gash above my left eyebrow today. Received 12 stitches. Head throbbing now. Can't keep my eyes open without causing a headache. And coz I didn't ask for painkillers, I'm gonna make it through this crap mentally.

Thank everyone in class today for saving me. The bloodied towel, the ice, the water, the phonecalls to my mother, and the ambulance. The care, the concern, the hugs. Sorry for the trouble. I'm ok. And I'll come back and continue martelo-ing some ass!

For now... sleep.

~Happy Birthday Liuxin~

Hehee... No wonder I dreamt of him, his brother and Angeline. It's his birthday today.

*duhx* =P

saya bukan melayu...
Heh... today after training, kept asking Hasibah to teach me malay. Sho fun. Then went to eat dinner with her, Pensador, Sereno, Anis and Alif. Then all of them Malay den I kept asking Hasibah to translate. Sho farnie, they talk talk talk so much then I caught only 1 or 2 words...

Anyway... training today not too bad. Cegonha chose the CD that plays the really nice music. Imagine some scene in the jungle, with waterfalls... and we were playing capoeira under the canopy... I was so totally in the mood. Happy with today's training. Yup. And when mestre got us to do bananeira, I actually managed 1 handstand and held it there for like 1/2 a second which to me was an improvement. Even mestre who happened to see me said I did well. =) I didn't even feel like I couldn't do it. For the 1st time I kept telling myself "I can do it, just don't keep thinking I cannot do it", and even though I failed I kept trying. So happy. 1/100 of the psychological barrier overcame. Another 99/100 to go! Jia you!

K Joe reprimanded me for being lazy and not doing my dips. K I will do them... more often. =X Oooh... Alif said I'm double-jointed. So it's not my joints loose or what. I'm born like that. Yeah and the dips will help me strengthen the muscles at the joints. Haai...dip. Dip dip dip... Dip dip dip dip dip... bleahz.

Saw Wicked Aura Batucada performing at the Esplanade. So nice! I like percussion music~ Anis was so enjoying himself ah. Joys of being a Malay. In their nature to haf fun anywhere anytime...

So tired nah... aching everywhere...

Ok.. then today afternoon.. I kept sneezing. Think flu's on the way. I hardly ever sneeze so when I start sneezing it's a hint. And to think my mother actually teased me. She said I'm sneezing because ziyang misses me alot. Muahahaha... trust her to think of that. Mother so funny today. And just now while my dad and sis were entertaining guests in my elder sis' room, my mother and I were drinking this black sesame crap in the kitchen. I was actually sitting on the kitchen chair, then I saw her sitting on this small stool, so I sat on this low pile of newspapers so that we're like at the same level. Haha then we were joking around. So funny. We were yan2 jiu1-ing how come her black sesame drink so nice to drink while mine tasted so eeky. Haha.. then she started talking about the market. Coz the market now upgrading then very messy, she wanna buy things must go until Little India or Kovan. Then she so cute, go out shopping herself only spend until $100+ on groceries and still can carry everything back herself. Wei3 da4 de ma1 ma1. Hehee...

Was just thinking, I cannot live without my dad. If my dad should go, I'll be sad. But if my mother should go, I won't wanna carry on living either. Yup...

Counting down to the time I go back to NUS for training. Feel so training deprived...

bored.

Wonder what happened to me last night that provoked me to enter an entry flooded with so much anger. I'm ok. I'll be. I just need some time alone. Devina please return me my camera as soon as you return to Singapore...

I badly need a long walk on my own...

I'm tired and badly need a whole lot of stonation.

Enough company for the day. Enough company for every day. I need some time alone.

Still, Sentosa today was fun. I got burnt. Now I'm red. And it stings.

I was totally blown away by East Side Story. No words can describe the magnificence of the show. Excellent job all 8 of them, and the ppl behind the scenes.

Now...I need my space.

me: If anyone buys me the Evenstar, the guilt will follow me for the rest of my life.
him: I buy it for you?
me: You want to be the source of my guilt? Do you have a conscience?
*harhar*
---***---

him: If I buy the Evenstar, I'll only give it to you.
me: Actually you can buy it for other people. Give it to your future girlfriend or even your wife.
him: But there's no one else closer to me than you are.

O_________o?

Lalaa... today went to watch Troy with ziyang. Then we went Toys R Us~ But we didn't have much fun there coz he was so bored. Then I bought Famous Amos cookies. Double Choc Chip & Pecan. Coz when I was still working at that dumb factory I actually told fishcake that I'll try the double choc chip cookies from every Famous Amos branch den let her know where sell nice ones. Jurong Point one not bad. Yupz. Bought them, even though I didn't know when I'll ever see her again...

Oh.. Troy's not bad larh. Kinda like it. Though I was feeling kinda lost initially. And Orlando Bloom was such a disappointment until he started shooting arrows. This guy only looks great as an archer arh.

K then we went down to Singapore Science Centre for the Lord of the Rings Exhibition. Sorry if I'm not a LOTR fan larh.. coz the exhibit abit the boring for me. Mostly the Orc stuff.. and I'm so so impressed by the guy who acted as Aragorn. Anyway becoz the exhibition don't have much about Merry and Pippin, I fascinated myself with Legolas' and the Elven stuff, which weren't plenty. But had a fun time looking at the LOTR merchandises. ziyang bought me a Legolas stamp and bookmark~ Lalaa... hehe... enough le larh. Since he'd rather spend his money on cards. =_="

Then home I am...

Temples are scary places on Vesak Day. Next year I'll definitely try to go to the temple in the morning...

Full moon night. Fly my werewolves. Fly! Hehee...

"Like every tree stands on its own
Reaching for the sky I stand alone.
I share my world with no one else.
All by myself I stand alone.

I know the sound of each rock and stone
And I embrace what others feel.
You are not to roam in this forgotten place,
Just the likes of me, you're welcome here.
Everything breathes and I know each breath
For me it means life for others it's death.
It's perfectly balanced, perfectly planned,
More than enough for this man.

Like every tree stands on its own
Reaching for the sky I stand alone.
I share my world with no one else.
All by myself I stand alone.

I've seen your world with these very eyes
Don't come any closer, don't even try
I've felt all the pain and heard all the lies
But in my world there's no compromise

Like every tree stands on its own
Reaching for the sky I stand alone.
I share my world with no one else.
All by myself I stand alone." -- I Stand Alone by Steve Perry

My sis suddenly sang this song on the bus journey back last night. Both of us fell in love with this song the moment we heard it then. It's so much like how we feel most of the time...

I dunno what the friggin' problem is wrong with my computer. It's like it's being hacked into. So friggin' pissed. Especially now.

Here I am hugging desperately to my teddy bear. Can't believe how much fear Lord of the Rings can instill into me. I'm so timid, am I not?

And my parents keep appearing getting me to go to sleep. Wished there were someone on some far end of this country who can't sleep to keep me company. But yeah only I am dumb enough to stay awake to watch this. And be frightened by it.

Sheesh.

Am I avoiding him.. or is he avoiding me now..? "Friend", you give me so much pain.

Back to the movie... the movie's really nice though, despite the state it brought me into. Heh. Silly me.