it hurts. hurts so freaking much. to know what u're going through, yet be unable to be there for u. wait for me k. after my exams, i'll give u all the time i have.

haaiz... where's the flow man... the only flow runs down my nose like a tap... after the painful blockage in my throat... just nice man... to fall so sick now so I can skip training. JF is right... i shouldn't keep training now that I'm having exams... so i am skipping my trainings...

haai... jia you everyone... i miss u all so badly... ntu frens... my hunks n babes in Ophir... my new frens made during e belumut trip... my fellow sai gang-ers in odac logistics...huimin... my m'sian foc fren in e same hall as me (but we dun talk much. after exams muz reply to e letter he wrote me...)... my cj frens... violet... huishan... dex... the odac girls... von(even though i c u every other day, will miss having u ard when u're not there one...)... joyce... eleanor... shouhua... the ppl in capoeira class... lua... simpatia... everyone larh...

and of course my dear fren of so many many years... (no not zy. i dun miss him. bleah. see him so much can...) i miss u so much. miss everything we did together since we were little... one day we must go do them all over again...

for now... jia you~ to you... n you... n you...
all of us are going through some tough times right now... fighting a physical n mental battle... but in spirit we unite and every one of us will pull through eventually.

because i believe in all of you.

like the rainbow always comes up after the rain, strength from within will surface after the fall. the harder you fall... the harder it is to climb back up.. but the tougher you'll be eventually.

so jia you k~

as quoted from mestre ousado- "Believe in Yourself."

k gtg study le. take care...

think blogger really sucks. so hungry for wat larh, keep eating up my entries.

anyway...

supposed to be at the airport rite now, to send zy off to brunei, but coz i sick, no voice, go oso cannot talk to him, decided not to go down. somemore so far lorh... and i've juz met him on thursday and it wasn't a good outing so yah i'm better off seeing less of him.

take care man. dun let the wrong mozzies bite.

been heck of a long time. monday met shifu study at nite. tues go cut hair (yup me cut hair le like some jap doll like eeeeeeuuuuu... but i like e fringe arh super short can auto-spike when wet.). wed skipped training. thurs met zy at cine for pastamania (oh yah if u like garlic n cheese the stuffed tortellinni or something is super good man) zy treat, den walk walk ard cine n heeren den i had to go back to sch hand up e data entry stuff, den went hall 4 den went can 2 meet von for physics tuition wif tham-ster. den we both concussed le. today, morning wake up went hall 4 deliver 'exam welfare package' hehe den went jp meet von n elle for breakfast. but crystal jade not open yet so we walk walk play arcade den go crystal jade eat. shiok sia. la mian hao hao chi. den went back hall, i went for lect, den came back, met elle den we share cab back home. den i pack my stuff go for sign language lesson. and man it was heaven there sia. can be understood without talking. my throat had a good rest man. den come back home le typing this for a second time coz stupid blogger ate up my entry!

k take care everyone. jia you for e exams!

today... or rather.. yesterday... was sweet... i couldn't help... smiling to myself...
***(",)(",)(",)(",)(",)(",)(",)(",)(",)(",)***
~10x for making me such a happy gurl 2day~*muackz*
Poor as I am, any amount of money spent on any gift for u is worth it, coz I know, that you, unlike my other friends, will truly appreciate and treasure the gifts.
Unlike me. =Juz wish that a guy n a girl can be the best of friends forever...haaiz...

back to school. Hall 12 kena blackout 3 times in a day can. 1st time blackout when I still sleeping den I got woken up by my roomie who exclaimed so loudly the moment the fan went out. Then 2nd time was when I was printing my physics lect notes suddenly my laptop went poof and my printer stopped. 3rd time was when I was in e computer room typing my work stuff. super sianz can. in e end didn't go for lect. =P it started raining so yvonne n I zaoed lecture together. hehe. sorry ah L. say wanna go lecture in e end din go. I'll go for cutie lecturer's last lect. I'll try. hehe.

bought some nice wrapping paper from ny supermarket. chio neh... used it to wrap zy's present. hehe. den did my work stuff. den packed my bag and went to meet my fren at e mrt stn. den we went my home. dropped my stuff at home, grabbed a piece of the cheese egg my mother cooked,(while my fren waiting outside kena interrogated by my sis (=_=)" ), den we headed off for my fren's place. his father was home. his grandma too. his grandma very cute. she still remembered me from dat time new year when i went to bai nian~! hehe. so cute sia... made me wish i haf such a cute grandma. hee. doesn't matter. i have my cute godmother. and my cute mother. and my cute daddy.

and my ever adorable little sister.

k back to his house. went his room. kena shocked by the number of cards he has. piles of it all over his table loh. den as usual i buried myself in his card collection. den i showed him 2 dat i like lah, den he found his spares and gave them to me~ hehe.. one of them is uncommon card loh... wahaaaaahhhhhh... xin fu neh...

den he lent me his Joss Stones cd, and some adobe photoshop thingy (but as usual his these programmes can't load into my comp one. sianzzz). muahahaaa.. den it got really late le. so i had to go le loh. den i passed him the present loh. apparently he tot the present is for the birthday chalet i had to attend after that. hehe. =P

Ooohhhh... k den i went e chalet le loh. JF oredi kena plastered by the cake by his jc frens. they very happening leh. hehe. so cute loh they all. JF so poor thing, cake fight with dem, den dey made him drink until he can't stand on his own. den made him sing. aiyoh. y he always kena bullied until lidat one. nxt time i must control myself le. otherwise his ming4 very ku3 arh. den he still fight back. this guy... impressive man.

k lah den we(ophir w/o JF) left the chalet. L, QY n eunene got car. den dey made me get into one for them to drive us somewhere convenient. like duh so dumb loh I can juz walk out n my bus stop is dere, dey din let me. in e end i got into L's car. he drove me to the opposite side of the road. so when i got out of the car, my bus on the other side juz left. graahhhh... got car den must fetch ppl home issit? ka pui!!! waste my time only.

to end e day, i sheltered home this auntie stranded at the bus stop coz of e rain. we shared my windbreaker. she stay juz a few blocks away from me larh. =) den now i'm home. listening to Joss Stone. lalaa...

not very nice arh actually. think i prefer Jay's ye hui mei album. which he returned me when i went his place 2day. =)

I'm all smilez.=)

hope it worked. tried to change the song on my blog. getting too eerie. hehe..

today's training not bad. did this cocorinha dat looked like some indian dance, den must siam the meia lua de frente like must hide behind some banana plant. hehe. den did handstands. can manage to balance on my own once for abt 1-2 secs. 1st time. =) thanx alex~

today talked to the cutie in nus class. hehe.

today's tests quite sucky ah.

super tired.

2mr not going maths n physics lect. gonna crash thursday's life sci lect instead. pls let it b worth my time. =P

nitez everybarde. take care.

i din get any GEs. sad ah. cannot learn spanish. was really looking forward to it.

anyway, now dat i got no GE to study for, i can happily go malaysia! can happily have holiday~ hehe. can happily get a job. can happily go for wsc stuff n wateverz. =) can happily train train train hard hard harder for capoeira.

good training yesterday. initially no good one coz no space. train wif zizi until we both so scared kena kicked by other ppl we juz stopped n waited for space. den came roda. initially no good arh, play abit den kena compraed out. den all my attempts at rasteira-ing failed. den mestre came in. 1st round, no good. 2nd round, manage to almost rasteira mestre. den came round 3 when i tried the move learnt in sequence den hehe managed to go behind mestre. but it was quite fast lah. didn't expect myself to succeed oso. something to remember. den hope can improve.

tests n exams coming le. time to pia pia pia away...~

p.s. went for NTU rhapsody last fri. it was great. performed by SCO. can still hear the zhong ruan playing dance of the yi. nicenice... =)

been quite a while eh?

my sis n her mehmeh fren starting their own conflict in my chatterbox. haha.

been bz. haven't been studying much.

been training. yesterday was scare-ry. was in the roda. sarara compraed. sarara meia lua de frente-d. azeitona esquiva-ed. sarara continued into an armada. azeitona didn't esquiva. but LUCKILY, azeitona blocked her face with BOTH her hands. so sarara kicked azeitona's hands, instead of azeitona's right eye. azeitona is still in shock. azeitona must snap out of dreamland soon. real soon.

and stupid azeitona even went to rasteira cegonha. how stupid can azeitona get?!

k dat was weird. but i've been having weirder dreams. way weird. think seeing him at can 2 after so long was really.. aaagh.

even dreamed dat my teddy bear was talking to me. gaaah!!! worse, it was a mid-afternoon dream.

k cya guys. off to do my work. get started on studying. countdown to exams. and counting down to the HOUSE OF FLYING CHESTNUTS~! lalaaa...

I love Hossan Leong. I really love him. A whole lot.

Exams are coming. I must study hard. For Hossan. For Ah Boon (my ex-boss). For my family. For capoeira. For zy (who's flying to Brunei at e end of the month. Stupid NS.). For my friends.

For myself.

Jia you!

To mehmeh: oei everytime I open ur blog, my laptop hangs. Shit u lah. =P

Today went jogging with HL, QY, L. 5k 39mins. I'm going Nuang in Dec. Must start training. Den had steamboat at block 60 with beloved Ophir. I must stop suanning JF. Sorry JF!

K must sleep late 2day. Went to hand up my work stuff and got a new workload. Luckily. Otherwise if they wanna collect 2mr and make me miss my training at NUS I'm really gonna fuck them upside down. But for once, I'm gonna try to do my tutorials.

Nitez guys.

I am SUPER PISSED OFF right now.
Damn it larh!!!
Stupid job, ruin my chances of finally being able to perform, even if it's just standing at the side and clapping my hands and singing.
Stupid job, rid me of the chance to observe the game and get to know capoeira better.
Stupid job, spoil my chances of being part of the performing group.
Fuck you!
Say monday collect den collect on monday can? You know I skipped 3 lectures because of it not? You know I spent nights in front of the computer becoz if it not? You know I missed my performance because of it not?!
Fuck you!

Dat feels good. But I need some training to make me feel better. Will go scout for a training ground 2mr.

One last time.
FUCK YOU!!

Finally finished the quota for work. But in e end I skipped all 5hrs of lectures today. Alot of catching up to do...

Went to watch Hossan Leong's Gassed Up, Spammed Up But Not Handing Over Yet! yesterday. Words will not do it justice if I were to write down how great the show was. All I can say is no regrets. Hossan rulz~ All the way from the start to the end~ Wish we would all never grow old den I can keep on watching him just the way he is now...

PS:to Mr Leong, sorry for 'fighting' with my sis during ur show, causing the disturbance. u were too good and we were having too much fun. I promise it'll not happen during ur nxt show. I will fight her in the roda. Haha. :
Recap:
Friday 8/10/04 - IS2 1st lesson. Quite...sianz? Kinda realised that alot of words I remember was because they were the ones either Ailing or Freddie taught b4. And Freddie's teaching tuesday's class! Maybe I'll change to tues on the 3rd or 4th week. Or maybe exam week.
Saturday 9/10/04 - Interaction at SADeaf. Received at call from centre-head that my student actually turned up! Shit! And I totally 4got abt it bcoz I tot it was Interaction day for the freshies. So Jason actually took over for me 1st. Den we taught him 2gether, which was fun~ The boy's quite shy when it comes to doing work but when he plays he's such an active kid. Den came the supposed interaction but there were only 2 HIs so not much interaction ah. But there was this game that my bs1 instructor played with us b4, which requires memory n reaction time. So I was taking it easy, knowing I sure lose one. Haha. Think WS had a good time winning all my cards. My student even signed to me saying "i dreaming ah?" and I was like "yaaaaa.." heh. Think he likes Jason better but really lah. Jason very nice with kids. Hehe... can't link up his cao lao face with his child-like nature. But very kewt ah. Ended the day with song-signing. That's When I Love You. Nice song. But not for signing. Super fast can.
Sunday 10/10/04 - Capoeira. Almost didn't go coz my right eyelid was abit swollen den my right shoulder joint kept clicking. But I went anyway. Den I was practising the moves b4 class started den Silvano came and wanted to play with me. Hmm... took me a really long time b4 I finally understood his actions. Den he just kept attacking me can.. And I kept esquiva-ing n moving away. But it felt good. I was tired, but it was fun. He's a nice guy. =) 1st time sia. Lalalaa... Den class started. Den I must train my chapas sia. I'm like the worst among the corda verdecruas. So sad. It was a bad training day. I did so badly, even though I kept telling myself I must perform my best today.
Because "he" was in class today. AaaaaaahhhhhHHHhh...
So sad...
At the end of class, mestre gathered some of us for a performance on Monday(which is today) at the Hyatt. But, coz of work, I couldn't make it. Man! Mestre hardly ever calls me to any performance and this time I can't make it. Sigh...no fate. I must train harder. Seriously. Haaiz.
K lots to study before the next workload comes in.

3.10am in the morning. Happy Belated Birthday Min~ *hugz n muackz n nibblenibblez*

I went for all 3 lects yesterday. My sister birthday so decided I should be a good girl and attend all 3 lects. Stayed awake and paid attention during mat sci lect, had a lollipop in my mouth and fiddled with my water bottle during maths lect, slept through the entire physics lect. But at least I was in the lecture theatre during the entire 3 hrs.

Packed western food for late lunch. Ate in my room. Super full sia. Den dinner was green bean soup courtesy of the 2 girls who burnt my pot while cooking the soup. Haha they super cute can, wanted to buy me a new pot. New pot for that old one? Dun need lah. The pot's not even mine. =P But the green bean soup very nice ah, not to mention the bowl's super big. Think they gave majority to me ah.

Wednesday's training at NUS not bad arh. Mestre was late 1/2 hr when I was finally early for class. hmmp! K den training started. He kept pushing us to do queixadas n armadas. Tot my legs were going to give way soon.. Then we did this move armada-au semao. While the others did aus. Stress man. Then towards the end of class we did au batidos! Nice feel to it, gonna work harder man.

Take care peepz. Exams coming...

I got a sore throat and I'm still eating mooncakes. Think I'm slowly killing myself... =/

Today's the last lab lesson~ Yeah. Hello one-day week! Hehe. Did the experiment with big guy josh and hehe it was fun man. Dat guy's cool. Coz it was at photonics lab, then diffraction experiment mah, so we had to turn off the lights. I was so tempted to go "hey josh I can't see u" but yeah I decide not to b a racist bastard today. Hehee. But that guy's real nice arh. He would do the experiment den talk to you abt stuff and had a really nice conversation. Nice finale to the lab lessons. And to think our 1st lab lesson, we were at the same lab... 8 weeks of lab lessons passed just like this...

Kinda glad I'm still doing science stuff, like have lab lessons. Lab lessons in uni is nothing like sec sch or JC. It's so much more fun and interesting. The apparatus and things we use and stuff. Real advanced and interesting. Eye-opener man... =)

Ooh.. hehe.. I got myself a data-entry job from webmail. The pay sucks lah but I like it. If only I had a proper computer with proper number pad. I can work faster, but watever. Min dun tell mummy k. Dun want her to worry abt my sch work. I needa save up for ur prezzie after ur exams too...

Yesterday went for dinner with Yvonne n her roomie and my roomie. Went JP Siam Kitchen. Spicy stuff. The green curry's very nice! Total ate abt $90++. But Yvonne had this 50% coupon so we paid abt $50.

So now I'm sick. Been popping robitussins since I woke up. Luckily got them from SBR. Jacq didn't want them. They came in handy. hehe..

2mr got econs test. Shoot. Must study. Coz 2nite got meeting. K lah take care peepz~

Man I totally lUuuUuRrrRRrvEe it when mestre plays the mandinguero cd. Super high sia today during training. My mind was controling my body. Felt as though I was possessed, possessed by the beauty of the music. Was giving it my 101%... until mestre changed the CD. Dunno why he doesn't like it leh.. actually know why he doesn't like it lah.. but whatever. I lurve it~~~

Actually felt that today's training was really good. We did rasteiras and for once I just went all out. Finished class feeling really happy... until saw the batizado videos that Lua's mother took. Sad arh.. my ginga so ugly... played so badly...

Now I'm all the more motivated to train harder!!!

to end.. I got into my hall's kayaking ad-hoc~ yeah! =P

Today's tuition was... quite sad... but good experience. I found myself signing to the song Runaway on the way home just now... funfun.. =)

Went Buona Vista the area the food court there dinner celebrate birthday for another member of Ophir. =)

Now at home. Trying to get some work done but think will go sleep soon...