Hmm.. I didn't blog yesterday.
Nothing much happened. Slept a whole lot. Finally. Drawing birds did help. Hehee. Woke up, went for capoeira training. Didn't train much coz Mestre wasn't around. Joe and Trovao explained lotsa stuff to us.

Been seeing ziyang alot. And I will still be seeing him alot. Wish he would spend some time with his other friends. -_- I feel closer to him when I dun see him that often. Don't even feel like hugging him anymore. Blahx.

Miss my didi.

Life is such a disappointment. We didn't watch the movie in the end. Just as well. Gave him the lighter and hmm as expected, no reaction. Whatever. He's had a bad day and so had I.

And to make matters worse, I reached home and what should I find on my table but the letter from NUS. To let me know that my application was unsuccessful. Another sleepless night...

Shall go draw some birds tonight.. maybe I'll fall asleep more easily that way...

Now that I'm in a pretty good mood, shall blog my excitement about later. I'm going to meet a friend for Troy! But right now, I'm still feeling kinda cheerful from hearing him go "yeah! you're home!" when I called him to arrange the meeting later. Haha... 1st time I ever got such a reaction from him sia.

Hope he won't notice my bulging fats later..

Had such a pissed-off day at work. I realised I just don't like working at the place, I don't like having people ask me where I'm going to study. So many people ask me whether I entered NUS or NTU.. keeps reminding me that NUS rejected me!!! *sobz*

I don't like having nothing to do. I was so bored I actually fell asleep. And my sister didn't make things any better. She herself was falling asleep. Wah sianz... Anyway I hereby condemn Peugeot. The parts are so hard to find, and the car's so not nice! Ford parts give me more satisfaction.

Ok then I was a super insensitive bastard today. Coz "friend" and his friend were on the 2nd lvl so there was once when I was on the 1st lvl just below them, I happened to look up and er yah... -_-" And it just didn't hit me to keep my freaking mouth shut. I'm gonna avoid them from now on.

And I was just reminded that today's the supposed last day of our friendship...

My sister saw the keychain I made for "friend" and she was such an irritant! Kept bugging me ask me who the guy is. Argh... buzz off woman. -_-"

K bless me with some fun later bah...

Oops.. sorry... blog shutting down again.

Stocktaking today sianz.. initially partner with this girl who never work before. Quite fun. Coz I'm the counter, so she doesn't see the parts unless the part number not in the count sheet. So whenever got nice parts I show her. Hehe.. then got once we counted this rubber straps stuff there were like so many on the top shelf then I kept complaining to her say the shelf so high, never consider the feelings of short girls like me. Heh... den after dinner sianz coz my dad got me upstairs to do data entry...

After work went Meridian for satay and beer with my father. Then we started talking. He was asking about my uni life... my plans and so on. Then coz he was saying we're facing some financial problems these days, so I was telling him, uni fees are so expensive, wish I didn't have to go uni right now. Then talk talk talk.. he suddenly told me about his time when he was younger. Then I had a shock, coz he told me that when he was young, people always said he looked ugly, then he always felt inferior. That feeling is so so close to me. It's what I've been feeling all my life...

Anyway I finally decided to ask him about going to Brazil, coz mestre kept mentioning it during the past few trainings. I finally decided to talk to my father about capoeira. I never mentioned anything about capoeira to my parents, what it's like, what it's about. They never even knew the correct pronunciation of it. Yet tonight, I told him about it. There are things in life that we aim for, and there are things in life which we are passionate about. I told him, in my life, to learn a martial art is like a dream that was never thought possible, just like his desire to learn golf. I always regretted refusing to learn TKD when my mother asked me to learn when I was younger. So when capoeira came into my life, it was more than learning something new to me...

Moment to be treasured at this point of my life. I'm still feeling so upset over not being able to enter NUS. And I've such supportive parents...

Ok.. something else. My sister actually asked me why my friends ie. Robin & Junwei like so zhi4 bi4 never talk one. Better for me ba.. if they talk alot, then I might end up talking more than I want and wish to too...Then I wouldn't be who I really am in front of them...

I wish my life would be as peaceful as every night I stay up alone. Chatting online with 1 or 2 people I don't see often. People who make me feel comfortable, people who make me smile to myself. Maybe that's why I don't like to sleep at night ba...

Wish 'friend' won't feel so bad. I keep hurting him sia. Maybe I really should end this friendship soon. Relieve him from this curse...

On a lighter note... Junwei is so scary sia! So fierce for what larh! Luckily the night before, Robin told me that Junwei sometimes talked like an ah beng, the tone very fierce. Otherwise I would have been frightened out of my wits le arh! =
Sleep.. I need sleep.. why can't I just close my eyes and go to sleep... sigh... NUS...

Shoot realised the pics aren't showing too...
sianz.. shall wait another few more days ba...

Hey peepz. Yeah I'm back. And so sorry the 1st few entries already so unpleasant. But what must be done must be done otherwise history will repeat itself. I oso quite sian about it.

Anyway, erm I did mention that my blog will undergo some construction huh? But as you can see I did nothing much due to my limited skills. Harhar... hope it doesn't look worse than before arh... but if it does, let me know k? I saved the old template. heh..

K lah. Leave u guys to read what u want. Thanks for waiting. And thank my pals who have been reading for the immense support. I'll be eternally grateful. =)

Oh and I decided to save this comment.
"blog 4 urself dear.. who cares who reads.. it's 4 ur own pleasure ahaha~ =) i love reading abt ur daily happenings~ =) how do ya seem 2 b able 2 write so much everyday? and stil u've kept it interesting~ =) yupz keep it up~! =)

n yea e name thing was a genuine mistake.. so cant b helped yea? =) hope everything's alrite 4 ya~ =) tk care~! =)

By sparz, at 6:20 AM "

Thanks sparz. I like ur comments. Everytime. Anytime. I shall blog for myself then. =)

Wow.. was just reading through the 2 posts for my sisters, and I found myself asking myself this question.

Do I really want to be this bitter to my sisters? Sad to say, yes. Maybe you people out there as my friends are feeling shocked right now. I've got like the best family anyone can ever ask for, yet I'm still not satisfied. But that is who I am. I'm multiple-personalitied. I'm different outside and at home. I'm different in the morning and at night. You think I like it?

I want my blog to last. I really really do. Having my family reading it restricts what I write so much. I don't feel apologetic at all towards my sisters. They should know the kind of person I am. I will not apologise for this hostility. I've done enough giving up this privacy that means so much to me.

So here goes... my blog comes back.

This post is for my elder sister. Should she ever come back.
Jie,
You should know by now why I stopped blogging in this site. You've got the nerve to tell mother about this. Luckily she's dumb enough to not know what a blog is, or you can jolly well go to hell with that devil baby of yours and the man who fucked you. Let me tell you, just stop asking mother if I'm still angry with you and I will not be. Just be happy and I will be happy. Oh and pray hard that your baby doesn't share my birthday. Otherwise when he/she grows up, he/she will definitely have some of my character traits and you'll have a tough time. *evil laughter* Like the same things I tell Min, if you want to read about my life, keep what you know to yourself.
I don't love you now. I probably never will. But if I get another complaint from dad or mother about you, I will hate you. And I will make sure I never forgive you.

This message is for my younger sister when she reads this.

Min,
Actually I didn't want to let you know of my blog one. But since I let you know before, then I let u know again ba. But let me warn you, and I am seriously warning you, that if you ever talk to me, or ask me anything regarding the things I write in my blog, even about this entry, I will not hesitate to change the address again. I've had it with jie telling mother what I write about her. I've had it with people at home entering my private life. My blog is not for my family. My blog is where I seek solace, is for people I don't see everyday. Not for people like you and everyone else at home to know what I do outside. My life outside, good or bad, is what I love and treasure, and I will not allow you, or anyone, to ruin it. Even if you should read that I'm in a bad mood, you have to pretend that you never knew. If you cannot do it, then stop visiting my blog altogether. And tell that yang the same thing too. Ok?

To those still visiting this.. please go back to http://riconassience2.blogspot.com from now onwards
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

After hours of gloom, I actually did something I never thought I'd do. Hahaa.. Wang Xiao Fu de wu3 dao3 jiao4 shi4 was on wan2 quan2 yu2 le4 today. And they were teaching the dance moves of feng1 yun2 bian4 se4. Muahahaa and I found myself alone in the hall. So I pushed all the bean bags aside and started learning the dance. Heh. Taped it down so after the show I was rewinding n playing n rewinding n playing over n over until I got the dance. So fun nah.. made me forget about everything during that moment. It's been so very very long since I last learnt a dance. All in the privacy of my own space...

But later when I went to dance in front of the mirror I looked terrible. Sigh.. all that excitement...Then again, as if I never knew I'm ugly... heh.

Went out, bought stuff for presents. And I bought a saw blade, and a smaller hacksaw! Muahahaa.. more weapons at home to slice myself with!

Been so long since I last saw blood on my own flesh. And right now it's slowly flowing down my left arm from a mosquito bite. Heh.. been so long since I last scratched myself till I bled. No pain baby. No pain. Only ecstasy.

Oh btw. Please do not be frightened by what I just typed. It was all my mere imagination at work. Hehee...

Lalaa...~

I am such an ass. Haha. Took me so long to realise that the song files doesn't play not because there's a problem with the coding but because the web host site has locked my files for a day coz I exceeded my usage limit.

Sure hope that's the case. Heh

And I was friggin' pissed. I absolutely hate sleeping too much. I hate waking up after 9am. And guess what time I woke up just now? It was way after 1pm!!! Darn it why won't anybody in the house wake me up?!?!?

Friggin' irritated. Still so disappointed in myself for not making it to NUS. Coz it only proves one thing. I'm lousier than that stupid piece of shit sister that I have. Everyone must keep bugging me to study once school starts ah. If Robin and Junwei can study so hard to go to poly from ITE, I can study hard too. These 2 super hardworking people shall be my role models when school starts.

Ok since capoeira training was a little different today.. or yesterday.. shall blog about it.

Madeira De Lei & Miudinho came to help out at training today. More relaxed I felt, maybe coz I didn't train very hard. Then coz this time we were facing the mirror when we did our moves, Lua and myself could see our reflections and ended up in giggles half the time. Heh. I look really weird man. Never did realise I actually look so weird. Capoeira is so not for me...
Anyway somehow couldn't get my armadas right. So frustrated. Then did meia lua de compassos. Miudinho was in front of me mah, den I realised that everytime I did my meia luas he'd like suddenly become very close in front of me, like if I do wrongly I would end up hitting him or something. Initially very irritated larh, then I realised that he was actually helping me? Coz I scared I will hit him mah, so it actually daunted me to look while having to control my meia lua as well as to execute the move fast.

K then we did Aus. And Madeira De Lei was telling us to keep our bodies low so that our Aus would not be that obvious (or is that what he meant?). I dunno arh, coz I was so confused by what he's saying. Aaah.. every training session I learn so many new things these days! And at every training I start tugging at my hair in frustration. Soon I'll be bald sia... After the Aus came the Bananeiras(I tink dat's how itz spelled larh..), basically they're just handstands. Oh did I say 'just' handstands? Grah.. handstands. I was so reluctant to do them initially think Madeira De Lei and Miudinho got irritated nah. But Miudinho was such great help. I kept bombarding him with qns abt my handstands and he was so patient with me. And he supported my handstands all the way.

Think I needa say a BIG THANK YOU to Madeira De Lei, Miudinho & Lua for their guidance, patience and encourangement yesterday. It's really not easy teaching me such things. Mestre's lifespan is shortened a year with every training he has with me. Heh...

Went the prata stall somewhere dunno where to eat. With the capoeira peeps. After that there were Miudinho, Lua, Falacao, Tempero & me walking back to take the bus. And I started this conversation with Tempero that got me thinking some..

I asked Tempero if he has any kids, and coz he doesn't I asked him if he ever wanted any. And he told me he wanted a little girl. But yeah he works with kids so often... he was telling me alotta stuff... like a ba1 ba1 u noe... actually he's quite a nice person to talk to, to ask about things... but with falacao it's a totally different story. I was telling Lua & Miudinho, that if falacao were my mother, I'd run away from home at the age of 10, and I'll only talk to Tempero. Blahx.

K... haai... so sad... shall go try job hunting and further disappoint myself...

Okie... so I stayed up all morning doing up my blog. Haai.. so sad that I can't sleep? Even I find it hard to believe...

Anyway just found out that the pilot who died in Arizona, is the brother of an acquaintance of mine a long long time ago. Yarh and I was never nice to him. Still, my condolences to him, though he'll never know I said this.

Ok how's the new look? Though try as I might I just can't seem to get the song up. If u can hear the song let me know yah? Then my blog can finally be known to those who used to visit my blog le.

Sianz... Maybe I'll go catch some zzz...s.

I..am.. devastated.

I've been rejected by NUS. Alrite.. so now I'll start looking for a job at Choa Chu Kang or something.. coz now I know school doesn't start till August.

K I shall go walk in the middle of some roads tomorrow. Or I should just martelo some tree...cabecada a fence...

Sure it's not the end of the world. But...

Haai.. whatever.

Actually it's more of anger. Anger for my stupidity. For my laziness. Why didn't I study harder during the exams... only myself to blame...
Ah Boon, I'll study hard when I go NTU. I really must study hard now...

Sigh.. must treasure every training I have at NUS from now onwards...

Darn fuck it. I'm sleeping later and later each night and waking up later and later every morning. Wish my aunt wouldn't sleep with the air-conditioner on. It's not good for her, more importantly it's not good for me! I wake up with my knees and ankles in pain, and worst of all I wake up super duper LATE!! (coz I enjoyed the air-con during my sleep, the pain comes later.)

=P

Ok back to yesterday. Left the house at 2pm, reached Bukit Timah at 3pm. Walked 1/2 the trails. There was this kind Caucasian in front of me at one time when I was heading down North View path. He stopped at one point and waited for me to let me know that the route ahead is very steep. So nice eh. There were surprisingly quite a lot of people in the area. One group of them was like taking notes at every stop (pretty much like what I was doing coz my primary purpose being there is to reccee the area for a friend who's going there some time later). Trampled on protected ground quite a bit coz they weren't blocked the last time I went there. They blocked out the short cuts and the good views man. But no one was around so I went further to explore. Heh..=P Joys of hiking alone. Once I walked a protected route without knowing it's protected coz I walked from the end of the route to the front. Then when I like finally 'emerged' from behind a barrier hidden by fallen tree trunks and branches, I think I surprised the 2 men who happened to pass by via the route to the left of me. Hahaa.. that scene was quite funny. Ok then I found my way to the dairy farm quarry but somehow couldn't get out of it. I ended up at this long stretch of empty road. O well, whenever I hike alone it's inevitable that I lose my way. But managed to get out eventually. After 2 1/2 hours in the forest. Then actually wanted to walk to Bukit Batok MRT one, check how far and how long for my friend. But lazy me didn't wanna bring out my map, so relying on my lousy sense of direction I of course never got there. Ended up walking a big circle along Jln Jurong Kechil and still ended up at KAP. Long bus ride home then...

And that's it for yesterday.

Oh yah, talk about fate. Ran into Iqbal on Sunday at Citylink. And guess what? While I was lost around Jurong I heard someone calling my name and it was him again! Heh... I was munching on my pizza then, wonder if I looked lost to him. Hahaa...

Lalaa.. today mestre won't be at NUS. Madeira de Lei will be there instead. Lalaa..

Somebody shoot me! Or hand me a knife or something...

Either itz gonna rain later or coz of the exercise I had today. My knees and ankles are hurting like they always do after prolonged periods under the air-conditioner...

Anyway, today is a good day. Quite lah. Went walk-walking in Bukit Timah Hill alone. Yes, alone. "Friend" actually wanted to go with me, but I refused. Hope he doesn't feel offended, coz I told him I didn't want him to go because I scared of him. Haai.. I keep hurting nice guys arh. Anyway, nearly didn't go coz by 2pm I was still home. But the weather was too nice to miss, and if I didn't go today, I wouldn't be able to go on other days coz my camera wouldn't be with me. So yeah.. went, got lost, found my way, and I'm home again!

Probby will blog abt it another time. Lala... sleeping late again tonite bah...

This is it man... I'm not lending anyone else my camera after Devina. Whenever I need it I don't have it. My mother's asking me to demand money for the loan...

Ok and I'm so bummed. I can't meet ziyang in time for the Lord Of The Rings exhibition. I wanna go... and I know he wants to go too... And that stupid guy actually asked me to go alone!?! Man how insensitive can he get?!? I won't understand a thing if I go alone... sianzzz...

Today is such a wasted day sia. Woke up only at 2.30pm. Which meant I slept for 12 whole hours. And I didn't even have a dream that was well worth the sleep. Dreadful dream. Grr..

Then my father asked me go his workplace see can help him load programme. So I went.. and still couldn't get it to work. Such a waste of my time and money on transport.

And I rejected a job offer for charity sales. Heh. Great Singapore Sales is coming to town. Please let there be job openings...

Sianz... Lord of the Rings... haaiz...

Have you ever had a friend, who is so nice, he gives you so much pressure, it's so hard to breathe sometimes?

Have you ever had a friend, who is so nice, he makes u question why he's still your friend?

Have you ever had a friend, who is so special, you can't bear to let him go?

Have you ever had a friend, who made such a difference to your life, you cry thinking he will not be your friend in time to come?

Have you ever had a friend, who means so much to you, that when he doesn't talk for a day, your life becomes so much emptier?

I have. With every single day he remains my friend, I feel so disturbed. Yet everytime I see him online and he doesn't talk to me I feel so unwanted. But everytime he talks to me I feel so undeserving of him.

One fine night I blocked him from my MSN list. Yes I am this bad. I am this selfish.

Yet tonight he sent me a most beautiful sms. Whether others received it or not doesn't matter. It moved me. And now my heart wrenches with guilt.

So sorry you had to see this side of me...

Capoeira class started off shaky. I couldn't seem to do my armadas, queixadas, meia luas without losing my balance. I tried doing Aus on the left and even those failed.. Then came roda. And I kept trying s-dobrados and yeah got a couple of pretty nice s' for my standard. Now I'm ready for taka roda!

Yeah Taka roda... before the roda mestre played the berimbau and got me to practise on the pandeiro, and yeah i "passed my pandeiro test"! Hehee..Then.. apart from the fact that I fell on my head again, taka roda was great! I played till I was really tired. Sang till I was out of breath. And for once I felt confidence in the roda. Despite how sucky my performance was. Then after roda I got hold of the pandeiro again somehow and started singing to hasibah. The song I sang during training at NUS. That was when I heard that Mestre's leaving for taiwan next monday. And so I plucked the courage to sing the song to mestre as a present arh. And despite how terrible I sounded, mestre was so super duper encouraging! He helped to sing to the chorus for me! Then for every line I got right he sang the chorus even louder for me. Oh man... it was almost like a dream come true until I sang the last line wrongly and created a joke. But mestre was happy. And I was elated. I finally overcame that psychological barrier...

Oh.. cannot forget this. There's this man in class, a beginner. Saw him playing the pandeiro really well today. Then got to know that he's a percussionist himself! Oh man I so malued myself! But he was so nice about it. He even taught me to do that very hard to do motion on the pandeiro! Ahhh... hehee... so fun so fun...!

Haai... den falacao, tempero n tokador told me something that upset me a whole lot. I dun like praises that come from them. Sounded so doubtful..

Anyway met Huimin after taka roda. bought drinks n caramel pies and sat outside the esplanade facing the sea and ate n drank. And we talked. There was music. I had great fun. We were both tired. Yet it was a wonderful, beautiful night.

Huimin do cheer up. You're a very cheerful girl, always so full of giggles. But I wish for you to smile, and laugh, from the bottom of your heart. Violet cheer up too...

So tired...!! My legs are giving way!! But what started out as a bad day probably became one of the more memorable days of my life.

Early morning wake up go Big Walk. Because SBS transit's a sponsor this year, there were chartered buses at the MRT station near my place, and so No. 31 was empty for once! Anyway it was fun. My dad, my mother, my younger sis, we were playing along the way. Started off pulling at each others' sleeves, den taking turns to drift off into a world of our own, then have the remaining 3 following behind. Compared to what happened last year, this year seemed kinda boring. Last year my mother had an injured knee so my dad held her hand for almost the entire 10k walk. This year they barely walked together before they got separated by my sister and myself. So during the last half of a km I grabbed my dad's hand and pulled it onto my mother's and dragged my sister to walk ahead. Hehe.. I dunno how long my dad held my mother's hand but well, at least I got them together for awhile. =P All in good humour. Lalaa...

Spent the entire afternoon restarting and restarting my computer. Until it was time for class.

Huimin, I can never thank you enough for everything you've done for me. Really.

Tomorrow will be a better day...

Before I go to sleep, here's an interesting conversation between Hasibah and me a couple of days ago..

her: Keshia, do you have a boyfriend?
me: nope.
her: no wonder you're so happy.
me: =)

Maybe it's true...Niteyz!

Just when I was feeling down. I decided to msg ziyang on MSN. And he made me a happy girl tonight...

him: wat's up?
me: nth.. feeling kinda sad that these days we seem to have nothing much to talk about..not that we ever had much to tell each other all along..
him: we don't need words to have a good friendship
*so touched*
then we chatted somemore.. and this came up..

me: i was thinking abt some of my friends...den had this feeling..coz i have some friends..and when i feel like we're drifting apart..i'll just let them go..and find their better friends..
me: then when i thought of u..somehow..i felt that should we someday drift apart..i will find you and find a way to keep you by my side..
him: ...
me: i'll really do whatever it takes to save our friendship
him: :) I'm touched
him: I will too

*even more touched*
Thank you my friend. This song's to you.

"For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

(CHORUS)
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

(Repeat Chorus)

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

(Repeat Chorus)

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me" -- Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion

Note : Because you LOVED me. Past tense. *sigh*

But still.. I'm feeling blessed tonight. Especially after such a troubled day...

So glad I'm home. So very glad to finally be home... back to my computer. To my own little space in the house. Exceeding Love playing on my pc, listening to it over n over with my earphones. Feeling detached from the outside...

Today do stocktaking at my father's workplace. Was quite fun initially. Coz I work with my sis. And I was the one doing the counting. My sis was in the slacking mood today so lucky me gets to climb all over the place. Then it got boring. Sianz. Whatever. Same problem that bothers me everytime I work there. Went out to nap. But that was after everyone else had their share of not having anything to do while I was doing the data entry, which they were waiting for to have more work to do. So fair rite? Ok lah dat one I nothing to say. Then after work I went home 1st lorh. Since work ended early. Went home, changed out of my smelly clothes, packed my abadas and rushed down to substation, only to know that taka roda has been postponed to tomorrow. Well, kinda good news. Coz I'll be training tomorrow! (haa dunno to feel happy or sad.) Mestre even made a public apology to me in front of the class, coz he told me to try to go down for taka roda today, and I went down specially and there wasn't any taka roda in the end. Well, really I wasn't too keen on it anyway. No worries mestre! =)

Went to meet dad and sis for dinner. Almost didn't enjoy it. So most of the time I ate in silence. Haai... maybe I should have just gone home. Carrefour was so packed with people. I was walking alone in frustration...

Ok.. then the taxi journey back was quite a nice one. Nice COMFORT taxi driver who spoke chinese. I tink the best taxi driver I've met so far yah. Too bad I didn't notice his name. Someone who appreciates close family ties. And how ironic that he should make me feel appreciative of having such a wonderful father and and adorable sister when I was just feeling like the time has come for my father and myself to drift apart, coz we don't go pubbing anymore...

So yah that's about it.. Reached home. Then back to my computer le.

Today training not bad. Thanks to the psychological brainwash I gave myself a couple of hours before training. Luckily training today not so tough. And mestre was nice today. Learn new sequence. Did a couple of Au negativas which I thought were quite nice. Fell on my S-dobrado in the roda but did it again and succeed. Lalaa.. Got once it was super funny. Mestre had his hand on my right shoulder. Then I just so happened to "click the joint back in" and mestre had a big shock. Well.. I didn't think it would create that big a reaction coz itz like natural to me le. Anyway, mestre said if I train weights it might improve the strength of the joints so they won't come loose so easily. So yeah.. weights.. here I come again.

Gotta go get some sleep b4 I become awake...

"last 8 days of our friendship..."

Whew! Luckily I went down personally to apply for my BS3 lessons. Made it in time. Applied for the membership too. Haha so funny. Jimmy was there. And a hearing guy Siu Fai. Very cute. Very nice guy. Heh Jimmy was checking my membership application form then under reasons for membership I wrote "NIL", den he was like signing "huh? no reason?" Then the Siu Fai signed "apply for discount". Haha.. But they left it at that. Then Jimmy went in to get my O.R. (Official Receipt). Was wondering why Jimmy signed the letters "O" and "R" to me, so Siu Fai explained to me. While Jimmy was inside, Siu Fai started talking to me. Heh.. talk about him learning Sign language, say when he's working with Jimmy, his sign language improves, and many daily phrases like 'thank you' just comes naturally. Hee.. so cute. Then he was telling me about this event needing volunteers. On July 24. Hope school hasn't started. Then I can go! Coz I already told him to call me when the time comes le. Yup must tell my sign language classmates when class starts in 2 weeks time.

Till then.. I tink I can go back KWSH le ba...

K spent the afternoon changing my blog a little. Does it look better? Or the old one nicer? In the next few days this blog may look weird sometimes coz I 1st time playing with the templates. Might end up messing up the layout so er.. bear with it arh.!

Hooked on this song Exceeding Love. Think it's some game intro music. Last time work the stupid factory the Xiaobai send me one. Heh.. so nice song neh...!

Take care everyone~

Oh man... I totally forgot about registering for my BS3 lessons! And 2mr's the closing date! Gotta go down personally 2mr morning. Hope they still accept it!

Watched TV till last last night. American Idol and CSI. Didn't sleep until 4am. Was so tired from training yet I had to toss and turn quite a bit before slipping into slumberland...

And I was woken up by Violet's sister at 9am in the morning to arrange to meet for my camera. And I went back to sleep and didn't wake up till 11+. Mother said I slept so soundly.

Coz her sister asked me to meet her at 1pm, den she nvr confirm with me the time again so I went AMK 1st loh. Den wait n wait den her sis 1.30pm den ask me whether can meet at 2.30 not. Heh so I went to explore the hill behind the mrt station. Nice hill really, nice park. Got these really pretty rubber seed stone sculptures. Heh...learnt something new today. Hevea Brasiliensis.

In the end went her school find her. But I only got back my camera and batteries. Heh so means must meet Violet again for the rest arh. -_-"

But thanx to dat, I took a bus to MacRitchie and missed the bus and ended up walking 3.9km home. In abt 1hr 45mins. Dropped by a pet shop along the way to buy sand for the hamsters. Heh. 1st time I buy something from pet shop.

K.. datz all for 2day.

10 days to the last day of our friendship...

I love you Mummy! *biG lOng hUG & a kiSS!* I really cannot imagine myself surviving without you. Please take care of yourself and live a long long life!

So tired. Capoeira so tiring. I'm typing like I have buttered fingers. Keep typing the wrong words. Like at 25wpm instead of the usual 40-45wpm.

So paiseh juz now downstairs someone asked me if the block I'm staying at is a government flat or private apartments and I had to tell him I don't know. I'm hopeless man.. and to think I'm dreaming of doing Real Estate in Uni. =
Where's the moon on this full moon night..? No wonder I feel so drained. Run my baby werewolves! Run to the cliffs and run to the moon!

Quite an eventful day today. And my mouth and hands still reek of durians~

Lalaa.. yup went to eat durians with my sign language class ppl. 3 of my classmates and my BS1 and BS2 instructors. So fun. And erm... I didn't pay a single cent! Not that I want lah.. Xiaoli insisted on treating. And so paiseh coz I ate the most there! But interesting larh, coz when we went to choose the durians, I went with my BS2 instructor. Then I was like the translator for the 2 of them to converse. Good experience arh. So fun.. had so much fun eating durians with them. And signing. And stuff. The durian seller quite shuai oso. But dun like his attitude. But whatever. I had fun. Lalaaa... so happy I went to learn sign language...~ And got to know these wonderful people!

Oh and I got 92% for my BS2 test! Whahaha... now ziyang owes me a treat!

And I walked from home to Army market in the afternoon. It was so friggin' hot. I got ziyang's lighter engraved. Felt it looks really nice. But dunno lah. ziyang's bound to complain about it. As if there's nothing new abt his habit and expectations. Blablablaa..

Then after that I lazy le. Take bus go citylink find Angeline deliver her birthday prezzie.~ Lala.. so happy make another person happy. Then went home.

Still had 2 hours b4 sign language class so I took out the battleship and started fixing. Heh.. the more I fix it the happier I felt. Lalalaaa... battleship got small small parts so nice!!

k.. I want a dreamless sleep 2nite. Been getting such chaotic dreams lately...

I'm just plain bored outta my wits. Well got errands to run before last sign language lesson 2mr. Haai.. results are out tomorrow! Really scared of disappointment sia...

I want the stupid pimple to go away... before work on saturday. Shoo pimple shoo...!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELINE!! Sorry ah every year never celebrate with u one... But then again.. *thick skin abit* that makes me the one-of-a-kind friend!

Oh yah. everyone! the chatterbox can now be used le. Yeah continue chattering!~

Lalaa... nitenite.

Fuck sia...
Hate it when I keep losing things. Especially when it belongs to other people. Most so when they keep approaching me for it and I have to tell them that it's lost. Graah.... fucking things.. please start appearing larh...

And dunno what the fucking shit is wrong with my IE. type abit den jump another window. Will u fucking stop it already?

And I er.. broke angeline's present.

I'm pissed enough already lah... with today's terrible training lesson.

GGGrRRrRRr...

Had this thought on my mind for the past few days. Blog it down before I go to sleep...

To me, cutting my hair short means an attempt to let go of someone, or something sometimes. Back in my secondary school days, I always go for haircuts when I'm in a bad mood. And I'll cut my hair real short. Just when it's getting long enough to tie up. And it happens quite often. So my hair never did get long enough. Until in sec 3. Somehow or rather my vanity got the better of me. Maybe coz my younger sis started keeping her hair long. So I started keeping it long too.
People who have seen me in short hair before would say I looked better in long hair. For me, my hair pretty much determines how good I look, and therefore determines my level of self-confidence. And it is only with this self-confidence am I able to bring myself to like someone. When I decided to cut off my ponytail in J2, quite a few did ask me if it was because of the guy I like. I denied the truth. But yeah that was it. The removal of my ponytail froze my heart and for a long, long time, I had no utter interest in guys or girls. I felt no love from anyone but my parents.
This year, I had my haircut again, and dyed. Really nice if I should say so myself. In the 3 months I had that hairstyle, I felt I was at my most confident. I never carried myself, never spoke, never dressed with such confidence before. I opened up to people, and watched over those younger than me more. That was when I met a really special person...
Everytime I decide to care for someone, something bad happens to that someone. It happens so often, sometimes I wish I never had friends. So I'll feel lonely, but at least no one gets into trouble. Actually, what is feeling lonely..? Recently while out with a friend, he kept telling me he feels lonely. Lonely because he has so much time to think about things, lonely because he doesn't have a girlfriend. Lonely is not the word for someone who doesn't have that special someone. At least not for me. I may be alone very often, but I've never felt really lonely. I'm more left out than lonely. But that's how I chose to lead my life. And this is how I choose to think.

So now I have my secondary school hairstyle again. Super short. Makes me super ugly. I no longer feel confident enough to speak up. No longer feel confident enough to remain friends with certain special people. I no longer feel qualified to love, no longer feel qualified to feel loved.

Hello Low-Self Esteem. I'm home. =)

Today training not much different bah...realised that quite a few people have been watching out for me and noticing my mistakes. camarada, anis, alif, and these days even falacao. Today she even almost taught me how to slim down. Heh... still, thanks arh all of you. And of course to simpatia and miragem who noticed my improvements and continued to encourage me. Yeah~~

Blisters are starting to hurt. The old ones juz tore and already new ones are forming under. Sianz... I dun like to paste the tape all round my feet...

Next Saturday got taka roda. And I can't make it!! Oh man...

Guess what? I finished watching Vandread! It is soooOOOooo NICE!!! I wanna thank the person who lent the vcds to me sia...! Know what's the best part of the show? There's this time when a girl changed the security password of this ship so that the enemy can't gain control of it, and guess the password! It's SMILE! Aww... that just makes the anime all the more meaningful to me! Huimin u gotta watch it yeah~!

k.. I'm all ecstatic from watching Vandread. I shall keep the sad post for later. Hehee...

Oh yah.. kindly visit http://riconassience2.blogspot.com and vote for the blog to return to itz original site. Hehe... thanks arh!

Capoeira training today not bad. I saw my reflection in the mirror today while doing the Au on the right. Quite satisfied arh. =) Today mestre taught us au semao, den he kept laughing at me, say I scared. Lalaa.. watever. At least I tried. =\ 1st time able to survived through training. =)

Violet gave me the shock of my life just now. Don't ever do that again arh...

Sianz. House so noisy. Father's friends over. Shout n shout n shout... all of them talk so loudly, juz like my father...

Bored. Lalalaa...

Saw Angeline today when we passed by MPH. Went in to say hi. She oso haven't get letter from NUS. Oh man... she oso nvr get... when will I ever get mine sia...

Haha.. den saw Kelvin.. but he didn't see me, so I whacked him on his bag and walked off.. den he er looked kinda pissed until he saw me den his face become more of shock.. haiyoh I so bad horh...=P too bad for him. I always thought of him as a super nice guy.

Was feeling really unsatisfied with today's outing with ziyang. I mean... I know we're really close friends larh but still... a guy's gotta know his limits mah. He's not like my didi... I'm comfortable with my didi because I can accept the kind of person my didi is. But not him...

Anyway went to collect my camera today. And return robin his Duel. Then he lent me his Vandread vcds~ Hehe got show to watch le~

Oooh.. my idol msged me again~ Lalaaa... Happy after a shitty day out. Lalaa....

My social circle is filled with kids... even adults think like kids... My parents think like kids... my friends think like kids... these days everyone's trying to get in touch with their child-like personality... how many of us had deprived childhoods...

It never fails to impress me whenever I see someone who looks really mature having the mindset of a child. Luckily for me, most of them are younger than me... be it days, weeks, months or years. Sometimes I get irritated, coz they're supposed to be mature, thinking adults. Yet every now and then they still behave like kids. But it touches me too, that they still bring out the child in them. Adorable boys and girls make my life so fulfilling. Especially when on the outside they look older than they are. They make me shake my head in exasperation, yet smile at their innocence.

Today, I thank everyone who made me smile, made me laugh, cheered me up when I felt down. I'd like to dedicate this entry to 3 people. To Huimin and Robin. These 2 ppl are really amazing.

And finally... to someone I got to know while working at the factory. Yu Da.. this is to you. For the smiles you brought to work. For the smiles you've given me. For the meaning you brought into my life. Thank you. God Bless You Always.

Capoeira training today kns arh... Au like shit... queixada like shit... armada like shit... (den again shit dun do all the above). Today feel tired right from the start... and training wasn't even tough... Anyway, camarada came to class today. Finally got fellow corda crua in class in NUS..! Saw him in the roda today... and I came to the upsetting realisation that I'm still so far away in standard from everyone... even with the extra training at NUS. I mean, camarada had a 1 month break during which I was training like extra hard.. yet his moves... so fluid.. and so many of them are moves that I've yet to be able to do in the roda...

After class, the 5 of us just sat around in a circle, and we just started talking about capoeira. Actually.. it's more talking about the blisters we get from ginga-ing. Den camarada was like telling us about capoeira in Brazil...camarada feels like a big brother in class today...

K enough about capoeira. Today is like shitty day sia. Started off the day getting a bad hairstyle. Actually the haircut very nice larh, but doesn't suit me. And I did tell the auntie to cut my hair SHORT, so it's not her fault that my hair looks the way it does now...

Then I fix the Duel Gundam. Spent 4 hours on it. And broke a piece. Darn. So frustrated with myself can...

Shitty day. I'm fucking shit tonight. 2mr better be a better day.

Shit my hair is now back to the super short one I used to have back in my early secondary school days. Hope Gatsby can save it sia...

K my mother's present is finally done! Hehe... my mother so touched by it.. lalalaa...

Anyway had a roaring good time laughing with my mother and my sister last night. My mother injured her back (dunno how she did it larh) so I was rubbing it for her larh. Then my sister was sitting beside my mother so whenever my mother felt the pain she would grab my sis. Hahaa.. as if that wasn't funny enough. Then we just started crapping about the funny things my mother did, like the time she tried to draw dolphins for my sister's birthday card, and they all ended up looking like fishes turning upside down when they died. Yep.. den we were complaining how my father is like irritating everyone in the family these days. Say he going through andropause or something.. hahar.. laugh n laugh until cannot take it...

Huimin now my turn to complain about my hair.. haha... Hair grow faster...chinadoll.. fishball... hope my sis doesn't call my new hair an egg arh.!

Kekee... gonna bring out the Duel Gundam to fix le! Haai.. ziyang's lighter still not engraved.. but heck. =P

Nice sunset ma...?

Hehee... read around.. so many people commenting about the new blog layout. majiam some big issue lidat.. heheh..

I'm feeling happy today! Joyful! Pleased! Glad! Glee! WhHheEeeE...

Maybe coz I felt today's sign language test wasn't too bad. No handsome tester, but really adorable female lady. At first we see she so serious, but later she liven up then so cute!! Maybe coz we all looked so stressed. Heh... but before the test see my class the people so united so funny leh. Everyone asking one another this sign that sign, then the better students so helpful, not arrogant at all... then after class, the 3 of us went home together again... Heh... both of them really make my day every week after class... lalalaa...

Anyway...

This morning went Hougang gym with Huimin. And I "cross my heart and swear to die" that I'll never go to that gym ever again. So many people!!! Eeyer.. and I so long never go gym le.. so paiseh sia.. everything I used to be able to do now cannot do le..

After that follow Huimin go her friend's house, then her friend style her hair for her. So cool sia.. but hehe.. I'll never do that to my hair. I no seh, cannot spike. Then see her friend the Gundam models... actually Mobile Ginn looks nice leh.. but I still wanna get myself a Freedom. Lalalaa... that is if I ever get the money..

Huimin bought me rose earrings! Just realised, these extra ear piercings really spurred me to go buy earrings sia. Initially I 1 pair oso dun haf, always wearing my sister's. Then after my 2nd piercings I suddenly bought myself so many pairs! 8 pairs to be exact! Heh... Oooh and she got me a wooden DIY butterfly~ Heh.. such a darling sia Huimin... She also bought me furniture for my doll house larh but I have already so return to her. Don't waste mah.. u also said u wanted your own doll house. You can start with those yah? Heh...

K.. tonight hope can finish my mother's present. Then 2mr cut hair le!

Omigod. Blogger has a new look! Looks so... idiot-proof... heh.

Hmm.. today I bad mood, didi oso bad mood. Then just before I bad mood, ziyang called me say he booking out a few hrs on thursday ask me wanna go out walk walk not. Just when I badly needed someone's help with the NTU acceptance thingy. Thankfully..

Well..settled the NTU acceptance shit le. Or so I thought. Had a quarrel with my dad coz he kept bugging me, getting me to settle it when I'm busy with things. Forever like that. Grr.. and he had to irritate me on a day when I get worked up super easily. Lost my temper again.. after like how many months? Yeah lorh... been months since I last blew my top at home. Blasted the stereos. Slammed the door and what other crap...sianz. Glad my dad went to sleep and left me alone. And my mother came to pick up the broken pieces. Yeah... as usual come give me a sounding out..den left me alone.. den come and sit some distance away.. keep me company.. thanks mother.

Hai.. my didi.. so many problems. Maybe I should have just left him when he left me. I always give my friends so many problems when they juz become my closer friends... And I can always do nothing to help...

Recently got 2 people very nice to me. (Yes Huimin, these 2 ppl are none other than u & Robin.) These 2 people make me very happy, at the same time make my mind very confused. And worried maybe. I want them to find their happiness soon. There's something they've yet to find, yet achieved in their lives. Which is why we're still talking. Which is why we're still good friends. But I don't want us to be friends. I want to be just a mere aquaintance. I'll be sad should the time comes when we drift apart, but that's what I'm kinda waiting for, honestly. I worry each and every day, for the things that might happen to them, for each day that they remain my friends. Haai... why other people can have friends happily while I keep having these weird redundant thoughts that I cannot just overlook...

To everyone(except whoever came across my blog and have been reading without letting me know...)... Angeline, Violet, Farhan, Huimin, I wanna thank you all for being such wonderful friends of mine.. Angeline for the 8 1/2 years we've known each other, Violet & Farhan for these 2 1/2 years, Huimin for these few months, all of you (and of course ziyang who doesn't know of this webby) have been my most treasured company. While I still have the chance, wanna thank you all for braving the storms with me. I really appreciate everything you all have done for me, the care and concern you all have shown me, the support u all have given me. I'm so in debt to you all...

On a lighter note, Julia and Melissa told me that my movements are improving. Capoeira. Yup. My Aus are better. Thanks girls. You 2 don't know how much that means to me. Guess my hard work at NUS is paying off. But more much harder work awaits...

Getting my haircut on Wednesday. Finally...

Take care peeps. I'm serious about the above entry. But don't mind me. I'm feeling anti-social tonight.

Using my elder sis' computer to blog. Things are getting kinda tense between us. I'm just not as angelic as before le. No more sweety sister. She's been getting my mother to ask me to forgive her. Still, so what if she cancelled her trip to Thailand and came home on Mothers' Day? I did mention I don't wanna see her ever again. Even though these few days we've been living in the comfort of her room, using her computer, her stuff she left behind in her room...

I've decided. I'll only start talking to my elder sister after her baby's born, after her house is well and ready, after she gets a job she enjoys, after her family finally settles down and stabalizes. Coz ultimately I wish the best for her. My approach towards the situation may seem hostile...but that's the way I operate, though it's proven quite useless larh. Use on my father so many times le still the result never lasts...

Or maybe I can start talking to her after my mother gets some brains. =P

Mothers' Day yesterday. To all the mamas out there, Happy Belated Mothers' Day. Hope ur kids gave u pleasant surprises. You all are truly the best. Especially to my mother. Thank you for respecting me, and for being my friend, all these years. Sorry I'm still making your present. Heh...

Yep... reason I'm up so late. Making mother's present. Then getting bored from sawing. Been cross-stitching and getting my fingertips pricked for the past few days making my godmother's present. Finally can throw the needle and thread away and start using my saw and drill... in the middle of the night. Hope din wake the neighbours. Then again, my sister's in the same room while I used my drill and she's still sleeping like a darling... hehee...

To everyone who knows my blog address, I might be changing back to the old one soon k? Soon as my elder sis stops visiting my blog thinking I have more entries cursing her. In the meantime, if got comments leave in the comments there can? Coz if u leave msg in chatterbox, the old blog can still see the new chatterbox entries. Abit weird larh k? Thanks arh...~~

Err.. encounter with guys a head taller than me gives me the jitters...
Then again... maybe it's the ecstasy of having another Gundam to play with! Weehee..!! Haha... Huimin...

Hmm.. spent 10 mins playing with the Gatsby wax. Think I'm more of a "gel" person. Splat and comb. Easier. My hair doesn't seem to stay with wax... or is it coz I dunno how to use?

Training later. Needa buy keychains before that... and my elastoplast tape.

And my daddy has agreed to pay the $100 for the NTU shit deposit. And doesn't mind the non-refundable crap. So long as I get a place in a uni. Hahaa... to think I've been so mean to him.. ignore him whenever he disturb me...
Well.. he was DISTURBing me... =P

But my father very funny arh... he finished ironing the clothes le den he very happy den he started humming the wong fei hong tune to himself.. haha... actually it's more like zhang shan wei's he4 quan2 the opening tune larh... so funny!

OooOOOoohhHHhh... I'm so INTO ROCK these days~! Changed the music to Enter Sandman by Metallica. Love this song sia. They play it at Ocean Star sometimes too. But er.. to all anti-heavy metal ppl out there... I will change the song again larh.. for the time being just...er.. click "Stop" when u enter larh k. =P

PhwoaR... think I stepped on some microscopic thingy that's now imbedded on the soles on my feet sia... so painful!

Then again... it's just the blisters. Both of them as big as 20 cent coins tore during capoeira training on wednesday and friday. Think the biggy 20 cent on my big toe on my left foot's gonna break through these few days. Been meia lua de compasso-ing really hard these days...

Yesterday 1st day in my new abadas! Felt so clean and comfy I was prancing around the dance studio. Mestre oso seemed happy. But arh.. still cannot Au.. sad nah.. only managed a couple on the left side that feels kinda different..

Must try getting my joints to listen to me arh... can't have them popping out of place so often anymore.. muahahaa... sounds so silly..hehe..

K yesterday went to collect my pay from flyer distributing. So paiseh sia! I did so little.. only 31 blocks... I saw on the paper that others did like 50 - 100 blocks... then again.. glad I'm over and done with it. Heh... =P

Yeah someone letting me fix his Duel Gundam! Hmmm... pray that nothing will happen to it arh. heh..! I wanna buy a small one for myself too.. so nice neh.. hehe... *excitez*

Oh yah.. heh bought wax for the first time in my life sia. Gatsby! Haha.. showed my little sis the bottle of wax and she was like *slaps forehead* "omigod!" She anti-Gatsby mah. Hehe... then I was irritating my little sis with the song the whole time... muahahaaa... the price to pay for irritating me with the powerpuff girls opening song. *evil grinz*

Waah.. celebrity Jacky Wu caught drunk driving? Haai.. the price u pay for being a celebrity...

Yesterday forgot to bring my corda for capoeira training. I'm so super duper lucky sia.. that mestre didn't show his anger, and let me off with only a warning that I've no more second chance to forget to bring it again. Actually... I didn't think that yesterday's training was tough.. juz that my ankles weren't in the condition for training. Mestre step on my ankle during my negativa only my ankle pain like siao..
But weird eh.. even hasibah had problems with the handstands. End of the day, we didn't even have the roda. Mestre said 2mr 1 hour roda.. siaoz... Anyway during the cool down stretch, coz I was pretty much wincing coz of the pain in my joints (ankles, knee and thigh area), mestre asked me if I was tired. Guess I kinda let him down yesterday during training. But he mentioned that he was happy, seeing me improving and trying harder ever since I starting training extra at NUS.

Today whole day at home. Play FF8. Watch CSI...

Oh and the flyer lady called! 2mr go get money! Yeah~ Maybe I'll leave earlier go explore the hill I saw... If it doesn't rain and if I get daring enough. That place so ulu...

Got a new handphone plan.. finally... after dunno how many years...

Then... received the letter from NTU yesterday, got into Engineering. Wish NUS would hurry up... though I shld be forfeiting the $100 as ziyang was advising me to...

Sign language lesson was fun~ Today practise the passage with the biker! He so nice sia, sign so fast den he correct me, watch out for my mistakes. Not as intimidating as I imagined him to be. Then we had to sign passages read out by our partners. Den the biker read for me read so fast, I panicked sia. Sign like dunno wat lidat. Hehe den I read for him. So fun. Then at the end of lesson we shared with one another our reasons for learning sign language. Nice... nice sharing session.

Oh and I handed up my volunteer form for SADeaf le.. Hope can start soon.!

I'm such a coward man... interview only oso so scared. In the end I backed out. Haai... guess I'll spend my next few months doing volunteer work bah...

Geez. Nearly made my mother cry just now because I simply refuse to forgive my elder sis (see I'm still calling her elder sis). Grah. Dun understand why she juz can't get it. I'm pissed off by my elder sis because she upsets my mother, and yet my mother wants me to forgive her because she is still my sister. One minute my mother disregards her like I do, one minute she loves her so much and wants me to let bygones be bygones.. Arrgh.. I wanna run to my tree-house again..!!

Was reading my jie's blog. Den see the pic of the prezzie she gave her dear. A heart-shaped glass bottle with 512 saga seeds inside. Reminded me of the v-day present ziyang gave me in sec 3. The same heart-shaped glass bottle, with 178 paper stars he folded himself...

Silly boy.

Bought a model battleship. King George V. Think in future when I start earning my own $$ I'll visit that shop more often. Nice stuff they have there. Nice staff too. =)

Like it when people confide in me, even though we don't really know each other. Though everytime after people share their problems wif me, feel sad larh, that I can only listen, cannot help. Then I feel lucky, that what happened to them, never happened to me before. Yup...

Bored.

Mother juz now rub my ankles. Everytime after capoeira training ankles so painful. Today knee and hands pain also. Capoeira training so hard on my limbs arh...

Training arh...today my thighs so tight, kept lagging behind during negativa abertas. But then practise aus not bad. Getting better on my right side le. Then today did handstand stretch on our own. Simpatia, Lua and me~ Yeah~ For the first time loh. Decided to just try without daddy Joe or anyone else supporting. Feels good~ But then during roda my attack moves kept getting stopped, end up always negativa-ing around. Haaiz...

Today taka roda~ Not a bad one for me. Played quite a bit. Played wif Alex! Yep she and Eric came and mestre asked them to play. And I managed a bridge again~ Just wish the crowd could have been more supportive...

I bought new abadas~ Smaller t-shirt and bigger pants! So comfy~ Now I owe mestre $185. Sianzzz...

Bored night. Listening to Gundam theme songs...

If u're tall, dark and handsome, dun talk to me. I dun want people looking at me like I'm some toad lusting after swan's flesh. I've had enough.

Sianz..
Raining so heavily.. later taka roda sure die. Hope they postpone it or something.

Training.. so soon got training again.. then again.. if yesterday wasn't labour day, there would be training yesterday and today... so tired...

Was up till 4.30am this morning fixing up the Gundam Blitz. Fun. 1st 1 1/2 hour was under stress, the thing looked so fragile, so scared I'd break it coz I can't afford it arh. 3hrs 45mins on my 1st gundam model. =)

I think I'll cut my hair really soon. Itz getting too long for capoeira anyway. And I think I'll not get Roy's hairstyle. Doesn't suit me.

Ego-thrashing session juz now. Back to my old inferior self.

So bored...I'm actually chatting wif my ex-partner at work.

Bought lotsa stuff while supposedly window shopping wif Huimin today. Bought earrings, necklace, t-shirt(!) and helped a friend buy a Gundam Blitz.

So yeah now I'm attempting to fix it. Weird friend. If I were him I'd make sure he didn't open the box coz I wanna fix everything myself! He actually told me to fix it den give him. Hmm... Pray dat I dun destroy anything..

2mr got roda at Takashimaya.. haai...

Take care peepz.

2nite actually wanna ask my dad whether going pub not. In the end went home.. went online.. and had quite the most hilarious conversations with my ex-workmates. Factory job.. so fun.. lucky nvr went pubbing.

Training so siong. Fell again. But luckily not so bad. Ankles n wrist pain only. But Mestre today very patient wif me. Yup...

Idol msged me a smile. WeEeeEee...~

I'm jobless. I stopped distributing flyers le. Not looking for job le. Yup. Sianz.

Sleep.