wahahaa i tink friendster now very pro sia... can track who view ur profile...
dammit now cannot go friendster see eye-candy liao. hahahaaa...

it's friday nite... and i'm still in hall!!! haai. i miss home.

once again i shock myself with the things that can happen to me.

as i type this entry in tears, i am pissed off, with no one but myself.

i overslept. i slept more than 8 hours, woke up at 8.45, washed up, left hall at 9.15, arrived at lect 10mins late, tried to do a simple maths tutorial but couldn't, didn't pay attention at all to lect, air-con was down, after maths lect realised that i waited for nothing coz the next lect had been postponed coz our lecturer was overseas and i didn't check it. on the way back i found myself thinking abt the @#$%! indian who caused me to start being a racist jerk.

i hate sleeping more than 8 hours a day. i get myself all worked up and easily irritated and i walk around like the whole world owes me something.

nothing much happened this week except that for once i tried attending every single lect n lesson i could attend and tried to stay awake. if i could i paid attention. i never attended the 1st 2 lessons of my fridays and for the 1st time i attended this crap happens. i'm pissed by my stupidity.

i really dun care watever happens. i blog for myself. blogging to me is not a waste of my time. maybe to ppl who just started blogging may feel so, but not to me. i've been blogging for the past 4 yrs. i tink my blog knows me better than i know myself coz everytime i'm happy my blog reflects my happiness. everytime i'm angry, it's there in black n white. everytime i cry, there's a date to mark it, and the things i do. my blog is where i learn abt myself, where i reflect upon my mistakes, and where i sometimes feel happy abt the things i did.

i blog for myself. and if i really look ugly in this entry, so be it.

luckily my roomie not ard. and she won't be again 2nite.
ps. by now i stop crying liao. crying drains my stamina. wait i fall asleep again den dat's it man. i'll screw the world if i had the power.

maybe i'll go for my long jog later after jap. haven't jogged my 5.3km route in ages...

Just minutes after i finished typing this entry i went to dear babe Huimin's blog and never did i expect to see the photo of the keychain that i made for her. hahaa... everything that buckled up inside me just vanished. thanks babe! love ya lots~

i miss home.

it really sucks to be my friend, more so if u're a close friend.
sorry dear friend, you came to me with all ur happy stories from taiwan, then had to listen to every koked & fucked up thing that's going on in my life. I really hate to put u through it man... thanks for listening. u're e best. =)

haaiz... so sianz... i not going for ndg liao larh. maybe it's better this way. wait i mislead some participants wif my lousy signing.

aaaaarrrrgggghhhh watz wrong wif me 2nite man...

5 consecutive hours of lessons, switching from lecture theatre to tutorial room to tutorial room den back to the lecture theatre and then freezing inside... it's the 1st time i manage to survive these 5 hours... without sleeping and without my stomach growling... in the entire semester!
and i managed to pay attention for 3 out of the 5 hours when i usually dun catch anything at all...

it's the 4th consecutive day of staying awake through hours of lectures n tutorials...

i'm either possessed or "suddenly" very motivated. then again... it's a promise to someone that i'm trying to keep...

no i'm not trying to keep that someone, i'm trying to keep my promise. hahaa... pardon the sentence structure.

why does it always have to rain everytime i wash my clothes...

anyway heading for taka after i get my clothes outta the laundry... please let this meeting be good.. haai.. so gan chiong everytime i'm meeting him.

take care everybardie~

寂寞的今晚会很难熬... 连续五天的快乐...今晚就结束了...

天啊!!! 你不会是在耍我吧!!!
i'm not going to help out for NDG after all... haai.. if i am i'll be at safra... aaaahhhh away from everyone else... haai... y always lidat de...

den again i only have myself to blame for not making myself clear...
真是的...

Anyway... wanted to blog abt something...

recently my legs kena some serious damage. poor things always baika coz i so not careful. esp now my knee cannot bend too much otherwise the wound will split den start bleeding. got me thinking abt the things i did to my legs over the past 10 yrs that caused them to be in the state they are in now...

yup.. this entry will be about my legs. so if u're eating or anything close, can choose not to read. thought i should write an entry to thank them for bearing with me...

Everytime i look at my legs these days, I think of a story my mother used to tell me, a story about a boy with very bad temper. everytime this boy lost his temper, he would vent it out on people ie. his parents, siblings, friends. one day, his father told him to hammer a nail into the wooden fence in the garden everytime he lost his temper. And then remove the nail after his temper has eased. And so the boy did that. Everytime he lost his temper he hammered a nail into the fence, and after he felt better, removed the nail. He thought that he should try to have no nails on the fence, and one day, he did it. he didn't lose his temper as often as he used to and the wooden fence was clear of nails. but his father brought him near the fence and told him that though the nails are not there anymore, the damage done by the nails before will always be there to stay...

i know that this story is meant to tell me that i shouldn't vent my anger on my loved ones (like what i used to do) because even though we all get over with it, the damage has been done and the hurt will remain, but the same applies to what my poor legs went through. everytime i lost myself, i find myself hiding in the toilet digging at my wounds (which were plentiful then), and if they were healing and not bleeding anymore, i would make new ones. my parents and friendsacquaintances would question why the injuries on my legs never seem to heal but ya... dat's what i did.

but i don't do it as often anymore. though i admit the last time i did such a thing was barely a month ago... juz after my m'sia trip.

i often think that a woman's pridegood girlfriend is her face, her figure, her height, her legs.should be able to at least provide her boy with visual pleasure. face not chio, figure see liao feel shiok oso can. figure not nice if legs pretty n slim oso good. that even an ugly girl can still feel happy if she has nice legs. Or even a fat girl can feel confident if her features are nice and her legs are clean. clean here means scar-less. AndBut I have nothing. My face is ugly, figure's a turn off, legs are terribly scarred. it's not easy to survive in this materialistic society when u look like me. even if i have the best character(which i don't), it's still tough. So unfair to any guy rite... not just unfair... but painful as well... so xin ku...

but if you give me a chance to change anything about me, i'll still stay the way i am. maybe i'll protect my legs more, but i will not change this face which is the gift from my parents. despite the insults that i faced, and still facing, i will still bear it. but if u ask me if i want children... no i will not have any. yes because i will not get married anyway, but more so because if my kids were to look like me.. i'll be putting them through the insults that i had to bear with... and that, i will not allow. it's too unfair to them... them who were not given a choice to choose how they will look like...

hmm.. this entry supposed to be for my legs de.. in e end write abt my face.. arh.. anyway, thanks dear legs. sorry u 2 turned out to be short n stubby n so badly scarred. may u 2 get well soon yah. i'll try to lose some weight so u 2 don't hafta work so hard every single day. =)

i broke another record today.. hahaa... i attended circuits lect @ 10.30am even though i woke up only at 9.30am. Showered and had breakfast on the go. hahaa.. and i stayed awake, and paid attention... to the 1st half. this lecturer is frickin' loud man.. at one point i believe everyone in the theatre thought they would go deaf. hahaa... my ears were plugged in and i could still hear him...

then on the way back to hall to print my notes for the next lect 2 hrs later, passed by hall canteen. decided to have lunch there. haha.. proper lunch leh. my $2 ban mian never tasted better. sat in a corner at the back of the canteen alone... faced the window outside. never realised the view sia.. quite pretty... started zoning out again...

printed my notes den took bus to mlt for forensic sci lect. super boring sia... but surprisingly i was paying attention throughout the entire 3 hrs(k for abt 10-20mins i was doing something else)... yah didn't fall asleep during this lect for the 1st time in the entire sem! hahaa... was finger spelling to myself certain long words that appeared on the screen during the lect. hehee i tink it helped to keep me awake...

which reminds me... haai... my signing is getting more n more pathetic... receptive is worse...

arh...10x to all who helped fill in my survey forms 2day~

last nite 11.30pm went jogging wif MS家族 (ie yh, zz, zh). I didn't fall down wor... kk dun say so early. 1st time i alone run that long quiet stretch of road... since last yr i dared not run alone coz quite scared den last nite decided to try run alone. think at 1 point i too scared ran too fast den burned out liao. on the way back couldn't keep up wif e rest. but still thanks guys for the run~

shld i go for physics lect 2mr...? arhhh... no notes leh... hmm k if i can wake up in time den i go...

later blog more.. got something on my mind to blog later... go do tut 1st... waste enough time liao ahhaa..

A run in pain is a run in vain...

time now is 8.55am. Woke up at 7.45am, went for a short 17-min jog... slow and constant pace throughout. wanted to do the whole 3.5km but couldn't coz my right knee was giving way. so i only ran the 199 route without nie. maybe ard 2.5km.. so u see... really slow... haaiz... went back to my room... wanted to do my weights but only did half a set den my roomie wake up liao...
think i too smelly for her to bear.. haha she had to wake up.. oops...

so yah.. thereby concludes my lousy run this morning. maybe the only thing to feel happy about is that i'm disciplined enough to wake up and go for the jog. v(",) try again next week... hopefully by then not just the wound itself recovered, but the inside too...

slightly less than 2 hrs b4 lesson... time to pia tutorials!

just when i was being racist... i got my retribution... blardy pimple popped rite in btwn my eyes. nice and red. *bish* think i too long nvr wash face liao...
haha... really. facial wash doesn't work on me. just wash wif warm water, open the pores, den wash cold water, close the pores. no facial wash needed. of course, dat's only if u're contented wif my kind of facial complexion.

haai.. got pimple = thinking too much liao...hahaa

i think i broke record today. I attended signals n maths lect. And managed to stay awake through both lects! I even paid attention to 1st half of maths! dun blame me for not paying attention to the rest coz everything's repeated of the jc syllabus. i tink my signal's lecturer is so cool(even though he's indian. actually i dun think he's pure indian anyway). halfway through lect, the lights kept going on and off yet he carried on wif lesson instead of becoming shocked/irritated/disturbed by the lights malfuctioning & commotion from the students.

After that i went for physics tut! this lesson horh, for the entire sem rite.. i only attend 2x. 2day's my 3rd lesson. so far haven't attended its lectures yet. never printed e notes arh. all in my laptop. this class ah... forever so empty.. i think only 10-12 out of 20+ students attended... i walked into class, stepped onto a puddle of water(from dunno where??), nearly fell(but heng didn't, ahh i love my lok-kok slippers), sat on the right side of class(which was totally empty), and listened(pretended to) to the tutor. Even though half the time i dunno wat he's talking abt, i tink he's better than my last sem's tutor lah. at least he goes through and not read from the solution. so i got more extra notes compared to last sem when i was busy copying answers. :p too bad i missed last week's tutorial... last week's was a new set of questions...

on the way back to hall... decided to dabao lunch(time's already 4.30pm) back to hall to eat in my room. but saw that the canteen quite empty ah so ate at the canteen instead. hehe so duck rice came with soup if i ate at the canteen. =) long time since i last did that. i love Can A duck rice. love their soup too. just a simple lunch, but so cheered up by it. even though i ate alone. =)

after lunch, headed back to hall. stopped by the small provision shop to buy my breakfast-for-the-week, drink-of-e-week and my 一桶面 for friday's lunch.

just finished settling some cca stuff, just now actually blog liao but den dunno wat happened didn't get published so yah finally finishing 2nd one...

oh yah. nearly forgot. I love my mother. she specially woke up early this morning to cook black pepper salmon for me before i go back school for the week. think that's the only fish (that does not need to be deep fried) that I can safely eat. of course i still can't eat raw fish though. haha. coz ya i haven't throw up yet. hope i don't. love ya mother. *muackz*

if nothing crops up, i'll be meeting my angel this thursday! yeah~~ haven't seen him in months!! actually.. only slightly more than a month bah... even though i juz saw perverse fotos of him yesterday, fotos of him in taiwan. haha.. guys... so blardy immature... :p hope we can go back to our spot in taka.. bring tissues k.. coz this time round, i tink it's my turn to cry..

back to work. anyone care to help me fill in survey forms for job agency? need to be local and 21yrs and above though.. for a good cause...

我讨厌我自己...

还没真正认识你...
就开始利用你...

我对不起你...

对不起...

请不要被恶到, 也不要被吓到.
coz it really took me alot of courage before i decided to type this down.

我遇见了我心目中最完美无缺的人.
虽然我不知道我们能做多久的朋友,
感谢您给了我这两天的幸福与快乐,
在我的已经非常的幸福的生命当中,
增添了更多的希望与光彩,
也增加了不少美好的回忆,
给了我从来没有过的自信,
给予我非笔墨可形容的快乐.
谢谢您的教导,
谢谢您的陪伴,
谢谢您的歌声,
谢谢您的笑容,
谢谢您的友情.
谢谢您, 在这短短的几天内,
让我觉得我是世界上最幸福的女孩.

对就是你.

"Be With Me, my beloved, so that my smile may not fade..."
总有一天, 我会找到他的...

to sis,

really not him!!! haiyo... omfg i really smile until so happy ah...?

love,
ting

if only he can make me so happy ah...

今天... 很开心...
脚很痛, 但心里非常开心...
一个人搭电梯, 也不怕. 到了, 也不跑. 慢慢地, 走到家门口.
真的... 很开心.
从来没有这样开心过...

The Myth is a very nice show. =)

Raining heavily outside... so the pain i felt in the cinema wasn't because of my knee or the air-con... haaiz... no rain liao. yeah~
daddy n sis not back yet. today i wash my mother's wounds again. so happy, she's getting better. i tink now the wound on my knee looks worse than hers. hahaa.. today wash for her, she tell me stories. said she n daddy bring out all the things my sis n i did for them n wrote for them when we were younger. then they read together. say we(my sis & i) very cute. they very happy that we are the way we are.

she kept mentioning about dat night i went home just to wash her wounds for her den go back hall (in e end screwed up my quiz but itz becoz i nvr study lah), she very happy. my daddy oso very happy. he smsed me "Love you" after my mother told him. so sweet. when my daddy not drunk, i really love him so so much.

my mother tried to tell me abt my features again... but i stopped her. this kind of white lies... or self-denial... hear too many times le... my mother also know what i feel about my face, my size, my hands and my legs... i told her, i wanna keep my hair long.. she just say,"don't keep too long. this length, very nice, look very sweet."

i nearly threw up.

hahaa. thanks mother.

then she very cute. she learn how to use internet. check that drinking orange & watermelon juice can treat wounds. she make one cup for me. haha feel like Sadaharu Inui come to life, give me drink vegetable juice. hahaa...
偶像!!!
hahaa my sis know I like him alot. think she laughing her ass off now...


btw... 2nite's juice orange colour de... luckily orange more than watermelon... otherwise will really look like the Akazu... hahaa


今晚会冷, 怕冷的人, 记得盖被hor...

hmm... haai... today so happy... abit worried abt 2mr...
today so happy... really didn't want to spoil the mood by taking out the survey form...
haai.. the 50 survey forms... tell me go where find 50 local ppl above 21 yrs of age mah...
my friends so few... somemore they fill in and COR gets the money...
1 day of happiness must be returned with a day of sadness... today so happy... 2mr how sia...

nonetheless...
谢谢你们... 今天让我这么开心,这么幸福... 谢谢...

气死我了............................................................................
haaii... maybe i should let go too...

Haai... so much to do 2mr... go temple... go popular buy card... go art friend buy lacquer... go tuition(actually i oso dunno go tuition for wat coz everything everytime dat j do liao always leave nothing for me to do...)...

i'm am so so so so so sianz..............................................

i wanna watch Be With Me.............................................
i wanna go for a proper jog.............................................
i want everything on my mind outta my head...........

haai. i wanna be alone......

i was so frickin' pissed during maths tutorial today... frickin' ABN next to me cant frickin' keep his mouth shut. one particular conversation got my fist balled up ready to punch him..
ABN : hey are u a scholar?
other guy : no
ABN : sure u're not a scholar?!
other guy : NO
ABN : you're smart man, how come u know how to do this (question)?
other guy : I'm a repeat student.
ABN : what?
other guy : I'm a REPEAT student. I did this before.
ABN : Oh.
other guy : -_-"
ABN : how you guys do these man... u're so smart... ur maths should get full marks already...
other guy : no ah...
ABN : why not man.. u can do this.. the test should be easy...

I dun wanna think about whatever is going through the guy's mind. Arrgghhh... dat's not all loh. Throughout the entire tutorial he kept talking and talking and talking so loudly the tutor had to ask him to lower his volume 3 times!!! and he still carried on talking...

frickin' ABN... tell me how to not be racist sia.................

i still wanna be alone...
my dad bought me a really interesting torch... powered by dynamo... no need batteries de.. and he bought it for $5 only.
if he bought it for me last yr i'd love him to bits.
but he bought it now... when i decided i won't be trekking for at least a year...
how to be excited man... remind me of my terrible last trip only... and he juz kept going on and on and on abt how good the torch is...

aaahhhh... haai...

leave me alone...

yo... another foto blog.. haahaa in such a mood for blogging these days...

I was having my breakfast while preparing this pic for the entry...
yep purposely didn't clean off the blood so i could get this pic taken...

my pig trotter quite wide arh so i cut half den only leave the injured part...



eh... pic too small... but can see the lower left arrow there write "my hp sacrificed itself for my hand"




later lesson @ 2.30pm. Den got jap... i missed my morning lectures again!!!

haai.. why lidat why lidat why lidat...

just when i tot i could finally get a good run...

i fell down again!!!
wahahaaa... dunno if it's fate or what... everytime i'm with the 3 of them, i will fall down one...

this time is my knee kena... trip den slide on my right knee... den i holding on to my hp mah.. so my hp kena instead of my hand...

my poor hp... 壮烈牺牲了...

still... it was a good 35mins run... thanx yh, ch & zz for e company... sorry i messed up again...
dun blame zz k.. really not his fault.. is i not careful... lucky he never catch me coz i think i will be pushing him down den he kena instead...
脑子里想太多事,没有专心看路...

next time u all tell me dun run, i won't run le... 小妹学乖了...

actually took foto of my injury de but camera no batt cannot upload pics.. maybe nxt time bah...

oh yah.. if u all realised.. suddenly my blog alot of chinese words.. hehe is coz recently someone told me that win xp can use chinese den taught me how so now hehe kept playing wif chinese words..

Finally got my camera to hall... took a couple of pics...




can see the 'k' tag hanging from my handphone? sweeeee rite.....!!!
*muackzmuackz*



now that most of my stuff moved in oredi... here's a shot of my table...

top shelf : Toiletries...
left top shelf : books n tissues n vcds n chapalang stuff...
right top shelf : food n things to cook with.. (as u can see it's overflooding...)

tabletop : got my laptop... my sharpener.. juz cooked myself lunch... my powder and medical stuff(including the hydrogen peroxide solution) in the right corner... and my stuffed toy too...

my red chair... where i hang my towel..
can see my field chair under the table for me to kiao ka..
my printer under the table oso...
btwn the window and my table got this space where i put my racket n dumbell.

realised that it's kinda gross to have ur toiletries on top of the foodstuff...
haha.. watever. i'm a messy person.

time flies even in a day. was studying for maths the entire morning to afternoon... and now the paper's over and shitified and now i find myself having to study for 2mr's circuit analysis.

juz now went home coz daddy in kl den 2nite supposedly my mother got my sis to wash the wounds for her. hahaa not dat i dun trust my sis lah.. but still i went home help my mother and den got back 爱心晚餐. so 幸福... den i finally brought my dustbin to hall.. and my leg bandage again..

haai... this last weekend coz my right leg injured so exert too much on my left leg le. today walk around suddenly my left leg the shin area there the muscles abit give way...

i think ah... my family all got abit of the ability to predict the weather. everytime the weather cold cold my mother n sis will get rashes. i dunno if their joints will hurt when it's going to rain, but mine does. sometimes. i know my aunt used to have this problem too. but now her joints hurt all the time so yah not accurate liao. not that it's good though.

i hope my daddy doesn't have the same problem too...

so yah, if i ever predict the weather correctly again, pls do not be amazed, or think i very 厉害, or very lucky or a show-off...coz ah... if can... i oso dun wanna know when it will rain...

back in my room. got a couple of hours before my nxt lesson. gotta pia liao.

just had guotiao for lunch, in my room. yumyum.. long time since i last had lunch on time... in school i mean. usually i just make do wif bao or skip it.

engineering maths is hard. Laplace ah Laplace... you make my life so miserable...

was thinking to myself on the way back... about someone. this person, was my senior in jc. we went stong. in many ways, he reminds me of myself. not just because we have the same bag, same singlet(my batch odac singlet), lift weights(k lah i used to lah), like insects, like spending time alone...

it made me realise...

Very often, we are not who we want to be.

In this case, I resemble someone I hate.

haai...

On a lighter note... 我有<<二人世界>> 了！dunno whether to feel happy or sad coz someone very sad when he had to break rules so that i could have the song.

and shit i'm still not done wif studying..
aaah... sianz sianz sianz...

wanted to study but couldn't see in the dark, couldn't understand, think i'll go slp somemore den continue in the morn.

but b4 dat...

i can't explain this feeling i've been getting since...
haai... hope can get over it soon... so irritating...

on the other hand... been really happy everytime i tink abt the carnival and the things i bought there. one of which is a hp accessory with the handsign 'k' on a piece of plastic. bought it for $4, pretty ex i tink for the simple quality, but the more i see it the more i like it. happy happy...

when i get back i tink will take foto of the things i bought at e carnival... hehee

was thinking... ever since sch reopened, i've been skipping alot of lessons. but every tuesday, i attend every single one. coz on my tuesdays, i have ee2010 tutorials, lab and jap. cannot skip de even if i fall seriously ill. so on every tuesday, i'm a very guai girl. hahaa
and lab was hilarious yesterday. my partner n i were the last to leave(again), den we decided to make alot of noise using the computer wif the output sounds... hahaa... think we irritated the teacher quite a bit wif our nonsense but waddaheck, the teacher dun wanna come assess us mah... hahahaa

i still cannot find my chinese version of 二人世界...

yesyes scold me because i dunno my priorities. between studying for later's quiz, sleeping and blogging, i chose to blog.

i'm freakin' tired. i havent studied for quiz.

yet i wanna come here. i havent been this frustrated while studying for a very long time. there's so much to do...

i met alot of nice guys these days...

thanx ch for walking me back again... took my mind off quite a bit of stuff...

thanx yh and zz for badminton. i didn't think i would have studied much during the time we played. it was good for a moment. again it allowed me to forget abt the hell load of stuff running through my mind e entire day.

to end it all, i was a happy girl actually. 因为所以其中必有道理。<<二人世界>> kept playing in my mind today...

k lah... need to sleep le.. hit the books.. in a few secs sure can sleep de..

I'm a very cheerful girl these days...
if u're able to make me sad or piss me off, u're good.

and i met a few good men today.
or ladies.

if u wanna bitch abt me, pls dun let me see. coz i'll b the major hypocrite and backstab u here on my blog.

if u wanna spread rumours abt me and some other guy, dun make it so obvious. coz i will not show that i'm angry. i'll just act blur.

but in actual fact i'm pissed enough to kill already.

stop your frickin' nonsense. because i do not like it, and will not tolerate it.
grow up and stop embarrasing me, and yourself. it only shows how childish u are.

frickin' ccbs...

on a lighter note... dunno if it's good news or not, but i juz realised that a couple of HIs stay really near my place.. and that the eye-candy at sad actually stays quite near me, and he's a really sweet father... haha.

Fun night. hahaa... but now got dark rings liao.. waiting for hair to dry den go sleep den later go back to ngee ann city for carnival to help pack up.

anyway, it was a good 1st day of carnival. really man3 zai4 er2 gui1. got the duckie soft toy dat someone won for me, bought 2 candles, a magnet, saw 5566 inches away from me...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................

wat more could i ask for... hahaa...

yh, zh & zz came down too. so happy to see them =)

tuesday nite was ktv nite wif e mass sign crew plus g, kf & yx. yx is a superb singer. hahaa... hear him sing ah i dun feel like singing liao... but it was yah another fun nite to remember.

wednesday went shopping. den went mr teh tarik wif ophir celebrate L's bday. Many thanks to ophir for making this last minute gathering a success. v(",) ophir rox~

thursday supposedly is for following mother go check-up de. in e end woke up late den coz laptop in hall nvr keep properly very kan jiong so went back hall. see my darling laptop still there on the table i happy like nothing hahaa. den take cab down to shaw house, meet daddy mother n sis den we went for dian xin. wahahaa my daddy order 1 buddha jump wall den we 4 ppl split, each take what we like, and i got the abalone! hahaa... my daddy see i so happy he oso so happy. den... still got very funny i was fighting with the clam coz very big piece den i was using my chopsticks to tear it apart, and the nxt thing i realised my sis beside me was laughing her head off coz i broke the chopsticks. den the whole table started laughing. den wah piang eh the waitress behind me super pro sia. diam diam one den she just take the chopsticks and change new one for me. then during the rest of the dinner my family was like laughing everytime we talk about the chopsticks. hahaa. den very xingfu coz when i small i always after dinner run to my daddy ask him wipe my mouth my hands for me. den i still went to him and he clean for me. haha so buay paiseh. but den he now boh skill sia clean until the napkin tear so many holes. hahaa... my $12 cab fare really very worth it. not just the abalone, but really very long the 4 of us sit down in restaurant enjoy a meal.

i love my mother n daddy. hannah hannah i love my sis oso lah.

den... friday got quiz... after quiz go home... den take bus go sadeaf. my house nearby 1st time got fire sia. gas pipe break den got fire. den i go kpo den call my mother den she kpo oso.

haha reach sadeaf liao den start prepare for carnival liao.

kk. tired. ai koon liao. mai tu liao. =)

cham ah all my tutorials not done. think 2mr gonna self-declare holiday again...

Went shopping just now. Been months since i last did some shopping on my own. bought present for L for later's gathering. bought myself a long sleeve too. @ $23. Wanted to buy this other bag that I saw @ $20 but figured I needed the long sleeve more since my arms are now so badly scarred from the trip. So yah.. the bag can either wait or forget abt it...

busy busy busy...

I'm back from malaysia~ it was a physically and mentally draining trip, yet i'm not drained.
not coz i'm fit. but coz i didn't complete it.

frickin' son of a bitch made it good for everyone, but me.

until u're out of odac, which i doubt will happen, i'll be away from all odac activities. until u wake up ur idea and realise that u're not in jc anymore. this is ntu odac. pls stop ur bullshit.

even though it was a terrible experience, still there were alot of things we did and saw that were really eye-opening. caving alone provided alot of knowledge. talking to our 17 yr old guide too.

and i would really appreciate a minute of silence in respect of Tony, who passed away dunno last year or the yr b4.

***********************respect***************************

this guide taught us alot, showed us alot, and had eyes that told alot more, when i went stong,ayam for the 1st time when i was 17. He and Li made my november expedition the best trip for me for a very long time.

our other guide fauzi broke the news to me when i asked, and i didn't ask more.

other than that, this trip was a screw up of my mental strength. gonna go train b4 i attempt my nxt trip. till then~

Was listening to the radio just now on e way back to hall... heard Emil Chau's Qi Shi Bu Xiang Zou. I always sang this song while at work, got me to think about friends that i make.. and friends that i leave behind...

it got me thinking about this group of 3 ppl in school that i recently got kinda close to. And over the past few weeks, they have been my pillars of support. they are my companions for dinner, for study, for runs, and for after midnight suppers. We talk too, about alot of things...

All of us knew one another from wsc. 3 of us were in rsphi last yr. 3 of us went for cor last july. 4 of us bonded coz of mass sign. School started, and we got over n done with mass signing. I thought that was the end of it. That i would be back with my own life... with the few friends i have.. but spending most of my time on my own...

But over the past few weeks, these 3 wonderful ppl have been including me in their dinners, their runs, and their study sessions. Last week we went ktv together. The 2 guys celebrated us 2 girls' birthdays there. On the night before my actual birthday, I was just joking to them that they must come out and accompany me at night. And they really did! I was so sweetified! On the 2 occasions where we went out for supper, we had lots of fun climbing the gate... talking rubbish... suaning one another... about the things we do, the things we don't like to eat, laugh at each other's jokes and weird actions and behaviour... that night we went up the mass comm building and talked from 12.30am - 3am... i wonder who else i could have done this with...

What's so different about these 3 ppl is that they are all older than me.I never had friends older than me whom i can get along with, crap with, feel comfortable with. There was always this barrier that i couldn't cross. And even though the course we take are different except for 2.. we still meet n study and nag each other to study... i tink? hahahaa...

In front of them, I dun feel embarrassed to fall down. Coz they make a joke out of u when u fall. The 1st time i twisted my ankle while walking back wif zz, his 1st reaction was "aiyah i couldn't catch u in time". Whahahaaa where got ppl say this kind of thing one!?! Instead of feeling paiseh abt falling i felt so dumb loh hahaa... then 2nd time was hilarious. at sbs there.. i was walking beside yh den she was talking abt some tv room den when i turned to look i slipped on a puddle and twisted my other ankle. zz was too far away, yh was stunned, ch couldn't stop laughing. I found myself laughing too. and these 2 falls happened within 2 weeks..
reminded me of the time i fell into a drain after failing to cheer violet up. she too laughed her head off. haha violet u laughing at me now?

True friends will not ask you how you are after u fall down. they'll just stand where they are and laugh and laugh and laugh. And you'll stand up on your own. (",)

Another thing i wanna mention abt the 3 of them is how they treat me. They are really open-minded. And I feel really good with them. They don't treat me as a little kid. When I am wrong, they scold me. When I am unsure, they advise me. When I do good, they praise me. When i do silly things, they laugh at me. When I'm scared, they accompany me. And speaking of when I'm scared, they can really accompany me all the way, from hall 4 they walked me all the way to my room in hall 15 and then walk back to hall 1 and 2 where they stay. I can just tell them what I'm afraid off without having it affect my pride. I can b mature in front of them, can be kiddy in front of them, can get angry and get cute. I can just be myself.

These few days i've been listening to only 2 songs. xiang cao ba pu and yuan meng de xiao xiong. these 2 songs were the songs that we talked abt the night we studied at sbs. and talked abt peifen and $72. zz sent me these 2 songs.

These 3 ppl, are none other than Yeok Hui, Chee Hai and Zhan Zhi. This entry is dedicated to the 3 of you, to let you know that I really appreciate everything u all did for me, and I really treasure each and every time we spend together. I would really hate to see you all go... like next yr yh & ch grad le, the yr after zz will grad 1st, and i'll still have 1 yr on my own...

But thanks a million for being a different group of friends. Thank you for appreciating me. I dunno how long we'll remain as friends, but while it lasted, I'll treasure every memory.

Thank you.

PS. We just came back from dinner outside today. Nice family-like dinner. hahaa...i tink i ate too much toufu... others no chance to eat.=X

Am I too stressed? Am I too tired? Do I look terrible? Do I get worked up easily? Am I too rash? Too stubborn? Am I working myself too hard? Am I sacrificing too much time for my cca? Am I really putting in too much effort? Am I studying too much?

the answer is No.
(except maybe for the Do I look terrible? qn)

I am NOT stressed, NOT tired, NOT working myself hard enough.

Not for wsc, Not for rsphi, Not for cor, much less for odac.

I'm even gaining weight dude. I'm only 2kg away from 70kg. U do the maths man. I've never been this heavy in my entire life!!!
And I'm still only 1.57m!!! wth?!!

aaahhh why is it that ppl look at me and say i look tired.. say i look stressed.. ask me if i'm ok...

i went to donate blood today and I looked terribly sian and fed-up coz i got lessons to attend and they really take a very long time... i mean i was seated there and 3 ppl after me got their needles inserted while i had nurse after nurse attending to me halfway den left. harlo if there's something wrong with me can tell me or not?!! grr...make me wait so long...them aside, my blood took its time to get pumped too. A whopping 9 1/2 minutes can?!! the last time i donated blood i only took 2.5 mins! And the nurses all kept asking me if i'm feeling unwell... harlo can u all look at my arm? the needle wasn't even in my arm! u think i would go donate blood if i was sick?! harlo if i dun put myself at risk, the person this bag of blood is going to will have his or her life at risk! U tink i'm some brainless donor or wat?!

And i was supposed to enjoy donating blood. sheesh.. nxt time i'm going straight to outram. service there is better and the nurses really appreciate you. grr...

i tink the reason why my blood pumped so slowly is coz the vein lost quite a bit of blood to the open wound just below where they pierced the needle. anyway i finally decided to plaster it so i will not scratch it anymore.

I seriously need to get back to my weight training.. my arm muscles need the workout... especially now when i'm not gonna be running so much..

haai.. stong trip... we may just end up at baha anyway... which is fine by me...

i wanna go tuition this sat... why u dun let me goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ...... i'm really sorry for calling u a xiao ren lah... forgive me larh i admit my mistake liao arh...

I think i need specs or toothpicks so i may see better. the instructions from hall office were clear man.. on the sheet of paper with the codes... yet i just didn't see the one for the laundry room.. i woke up at 7am this morning hoping to be able to wash my clothes early.. but now after so long then i just got the code from ws, and then realising that i had the code after all...

aaahhhh... super pajiao sia...

lucky no lect today. haha.. very long nvr go for circuit lect liao..

and i even longer nvr go for data lect liao...

Happy Bday SY & Daddy Joe!

yo! added song to my blog again~ so yah if u dun hear anything can let me know so i'll noe if it's working? thanx!

yesterday i twisted my ankle again. slipped on a puddle. in front of zz,zh & yh. Hahaa zh was laughing his head off.. yh kena stunned.. i tink zz was quite angry...

angry coz i still went running even with my injured ankle, coz i'm still going stong with my injured ankles.. hai but now they like ban me from running with them liao...

haai so sad.. k lah i dun run lah.. but stong i'll still go de lah.. but i promise when i come back i'll rest my ankles 1st lah can?

i could start getting good at lab i guess... connecting circuits is still damn tough but i can use the oscilloscope pretty well now.. hahaa...

okie i was in a really pissed off mood then... so yah deleted the post oredi.

I just didn't like to be so looked down upon like that... happened so many times liao...

but if i were given a chance to be reborn as anything or anyone else, looking like others, i would still choose to be me. Coz only when I'm me will I have my family, and these groups of friends. And I will be able to tell true friends from naught coz only my face can bring out e true intention of friendship.

or so I thought.

in any case, i'm satisfied and contented with my life now. though at times i'm still pissed at how i look like, any other factor overrides this beauty that is only skin deep.

grr i'm so gonna fail lab. kns...

I love Ophir~

Nope not the Gunung Ledang Ophir but my OG from FOOT '04 Ophir. They celebrated my birthday for me just now at adam's road den Mind Cafe at Prinsep. played some really crap games. haha.. so fun...

today... got green cake, ate with green chopsticks n spoon, got 2 ppl in green, green keychain, green friendship band, greenday cd... and when we played the board games, green colour won! Hahaa... nice...

thanks hl, qy, eugene, yl, ck, l. thanks von n noey. thanks rest of ophir.

thanks for 2nite~

Went for the food fest at suntec yesterday with my rsphi-mates. ate alot. =)
Let's do this more often shall we?

-deleted-

before i forget...

i wanna thank all who smsed me happy birthday today... ur names will not be mentioned to protect ur identities haha...

just now.. at 9.29pm, i received a long distance phonecall from taiwan. hehe.. thanks so very very very much for the surprise... aaaahhhh... so pleasantly stunned me sia i was waiting for the bus that took forever to come... the phonecall ended at 9.40pm... haha and i was left in smiles all the way till now... heheee... thank u so so so much~

kk gotta run!

Into my 2nd yr of NTU... another memorable 1st few hours of my birthday...

in the past 4 hours...

starting at 12.58pm 1 sept, dear Huimin called me and sang me a birthday song. AaaaahhhHHhhhhhhhhhhh..............................................................
so touched..

then just after i put down the fone, J & YH dropped 3 ice creams on the table and j signed happy birthday to me while yh sang. OMG i was so paiseh-ed yet overwhelmed at the same time... i mean... wah lau eh these 2 guys really know how to move a girl loh... and they only had 3 ice creams with them in canteen B. super sweet sia.. the icecream oso... the 3 flavour de haai i wanted to wash the wrapper so i can keep it...

den uncle heng called, hehee to confirm supper but also wished me.

after that my mother msged me wishes from daddy, herself & gugu.
"Happy birthday XX many happy return alway with u love from mum, dad n gu gu." @ 12.03am.
talked to my mother a little on the fone...

den i was waiting for huimin den when i went down i saw yhui!! aaaahhhhh... super surprised sia (n touched that she came down even though she so tired le...) aah so wen1 xin1 the baobao... cl oso send me bday wish from beijing...

hehee.. den after den went down to hall 4.. met huimin on e way.. hehe got strawberry cake (actually it's quite nice leh.. the cream not very thick just nice... cake oso very nice n fluffy...)
this was when my xiaomei n dy sent me bday wishes too.
"xie xie ni xie xie wo ni shi ni wo shi wo..." hahahaa... my hp kena FLOORed...

den zz n zh come le.. den we made our way out for supper. hehe. yh treat me eat prata. den i got my strawberry cake..

den we walked back to sch. hehe can climb gate so fun. walk to cs building, went to rooftop.. talk until 3am. so nice sia... they kept talking abt going holiday 2gether... actually we talk abt quite alot of things...

3am le we walk to hall 3 den yh go back her hall n poor zz n zh walked me all e way back to far far away de hall 15... until my room door leh...

haiyo... with friends like this... alot of things that i too thick-skinned to reveal that i scared all revealed liao...and they dun laugh at me loh... instead they accompany me all the way back to hall... aaahh dun pamper me so much liao lah...

haai. yup. it's the big 20. my papa was saying i this yr 2 yrs old. haha. *muackz*

last yr.. at this time.. i was playing sparklers wif e log comm at ny house. this yr... another memorable 1st few hrs... i'm so lucky... (",)

thanks zz, zh, yh, hm, j, yh for this wonderful n magical nite...

another entry in my journal of after midnite adventures...

haha.. yes jeff, it's my 20th birthday today.