yo.
my hair cut liao. now got short fringe. long hair at e back kinda dun suit the short fringe. look quite act cute ah abit buay tahan but o well...
$6 hair cut nothing to complain.
got slightly more than 1/2 yr to keep my hair long. gonna cut b4 i go for my nxt trekking trip...

2day early morning wake up.. go redhill meet grace. wahahaa the other 2 centreheads overslept. in e end only me n her go the school do publicity. to think i actually dun need to go de. somemore today heavy rain den both of us super drenched by e time we got to the sch. anyway today i kinda like terped abit for grace... quite alrite i think... only thing i wasnt very serious coz i wasn't entirely terping. den on e way back we were like discussing work issues... haai... so many probs r surfacing for our club this yr...

anyway...
was supposed to be studying yesterday.. but went suntec to get my gummies... plus a birthday card for daddy. very long never buy birthday card for daddy le. then after that went to meet sm see his friend get tatoo. haha.. so cool sia.. the scorpion so nice.. i like scorpions... hahaa...

was supposed to go chiong wif my daddy but i realised he left home liao.
think i'll go find him if he's at the one near home..

till then..

Happy Birthday Robin~

oh yah.. today's sunset from my room window is so pweetttyyy larhhhh.... wanted to take foto but my camera is officially spoilt. haai...

in an hour's time... me gonna go cut hair le...
dun really know what to cut but... i know my fringe's gonna b shorter and my hair won't haf its brown ends anymore...

remembered what i wanted to blog last night le... abt my jap oral. it's over!!! and as usual i think i suck but dun care lah gonna pia for the paper...

though these days i've very much been feeling like dropping out of school.

anyone out there feeling shocked?

i'm really losing interest in EEE subjects... i really don't see myself as an electronics engineer in future.. i'm just wasting my parents' money. even if i do graduate with good grades, i probably won't know how to apply what i learnt in school, i won't remember 9 out of 10 things i studied for during exams...

it's not like i'm studying something i like...
i don't think i'll consider furthering my studies too...
remembering wat yq told me at the start of the sem... it's coming to reality coz back then i tot i'll be able to cope, or at least consider another alternative.. plus i tink ntu's eee not bad arh according to friends in other engineering...
but i guess it's not working out.
coz i dun see myself as an engineer at all...

this sucks... but there's nth i can do but to pass my exams huh...

really wanted to go work for my daddy today... but guess i'll juz focus on my studies... grr the irritating paradox of my screwed academic life...

after i get my hair cut
and my gummies from suntec.
and of coz getting my daddy a birthday card. though my mother was asking me to make one. i tink i no time bah... plus i'm running out of creative juices...

i'm finally home~!~~~

miss home so so much...
moment i reach home my xiaomei greeted me wif oreo cheesecake!~~ buttery but full of love~~
and cheese too!!!

ac sent stamps for nxt batch of orders again. last time they sent all prince charles n princess ds' den i didn't order a single one then i thought they would stop sending liao but they're back and guess wat! they're all animals!! now i can't make up my mind which to order coz i want them all!!! haai. hmm think after exams i oso need to sort my stamps too le..

haha.. ya i always left out stamp collecting as one of my hobbies. i think it's very 土 to still be collecting stamps at this time this age but i really can't help it the stamps really sometimes very nice...

2day(yesterday)'s jog took me 24mins 30secs.
for the record, i jogged 17.2km this week!!!
waah.. 2 weeks worth of distance.. but 5.3km is for the previous week de... so only 3.1 km is for nxt week so next week i still have to cover 5.7 km b4 the break for exams.

plus i had alcohol this month which i wasn't supposed to have so yah... the 3.1km will become uncounted.

can't remember what i wanted to blog abt le. o well.. take care everyone..
exams coming le...

before i forget...

Thanks Huimin for the paper dragonfly of good luck~~ alamak i dun usually look at the door de larh u slot there the whole afternoon i only just saw it... it's so pretty lah...~~~ i love dragonflies~~ din know can fold paper dragonflies!! if i had a camera i'll take a foto of it arh...
thanx babe~!~~

sweet friends like her really make my day (",)

and sm's sweet too...
i was just going to let him enjoy his night but somehow by not replying his msgs he thought i was gonna get angry coz he was telling me he might get drunk and he knows how much i dislike seeing ppl i love getting drunk. (hmm dat was a long sentence). and so... when i was almost on e edge of entering dreamland... he called me.

heh and he sounded more awake than me.

anyway.. was attempting my circuit analysis tutorial.. this last chapter like quite easy arh.. i hope i'm not underestimating.. then today ah i suddenly can understand alot of fundamental logic behind the methods of solving. last time i just remember what i must do to solve. wah today is good day for studying circuits sia..

-deleted-

hmm k waste enough time le. back to my books. i wanna burn my pimples man.. so many..

tomorrow...
must remember to pack...

1) my shoes
2) my socks
3) running attire
4) past yr exam qns book
5) toiletries (incl toothbrush & toothpaste)
6) nail buffer
7) gackt cd

guess that's all for now...
in e mood for watermelon.
oral's 2mr!!!

anyway... just had a very very enjoyable conversation with von and her friends. though most of the time it was just me n von talking to each other. it's really like talk like there's not a care in the world... to think i actually didn't see her and was heading back to hall for lunch alone. until she called out to me.
so we sat and talked over lunch...was recalling the times when we stayed in the same hall and we spent hours talking outside von's room den... was confiding in her abt how i'm finding it really hard accepting the fact that i'm becoming a "high-maintanence" person. then after lunch liao we still talking...

heh den saw jf n he sat down wif us den we continued talking... even started talking abt the time last yr during my bday we cooked chilli crab in hall... the funny things that happened with my potable stove.. this memory only von shared wif me arh...

1 hr spent not studying... but still well spent.

oh yah... almost betted wif sm on whether i will get muscle aches today after my 10.7km jog yesterday. i was kinda insistant that i wouldn't get mah, but he sounded more convinced that i would so i just believed him. dammit arh should have bet 100 pipis that i WOULDN'T get muscle aches...
but i think my ankles just got weaker...
wonder if it's just my high threshold level for pain, or did i really not get muscle aches...

anyway was thinking... coz sm was sharing wif me ways to slim down... or lose the flabs lah...
that maybe he was thinking the reason why i run so much is so i can lose weight?

actually for me... running won't help bah.. coz if can, i would have lost weight back 2 yrs ago when i was running more than i do now. back when a 10km run was still considered a short distance run...

running for me is to help me build my confidence. fitness is important arh... but without discipline, cannot train this hard oso.
no discipline+no training+no fitness=1 less source of confidence
then for low self-esteem person like me... every bit of self confidence very important arh... everytime i run finish.. happy happy come here blog... den got something to feel good abt myself...

haha so bhb horh... but dun care lah... my own feelings. if i gonna care wat other ppl think the whole time... my life will be very miserable de...

.i love sm. hahaa... not the senior minister though... nor is it sex maniax...

oh yah which reminds me... juz now got this abn loitering outside the canteen den i walk in and he just followed behind me loh den i stop at the drink stall to choose myself a watermelon den he oso stop there to buy a drink... of all the strange coincidences in the world...
but i was really super freaked out during that short few secs...

kk... time to carry on wif work...

i know i should be studying... but i'll just go ahead... hmm i'm blogging alot today sia...

20 things about me on 26 October 2005, 6.57pm

1) i'm in my hall
2) i'm typing this entry using my laptop
3) my stomach just growled
4) and still growling
5) i don't know if my roomie can hear my stomach growling
6) my bf just msged me
7) aaaaahhhhhhhhh
8) i'm waiting for my body to cool down then i can go take my bath and then dinner
9) i just ran 10.7km!!! (hahaa...)
10) i had a forensic science quiz just now
11) the quiz questions are tricky
12) but some are really dumb too
13) my table's really messy
14) my hairband broke
15) 求爱复刻版 has repeated itself countless times on my media player
16) the music is on
17) and the earphones are plugged in
18) but not to my ears
19) i shall go bathe now
20) i finished this at 7:04pm

hahahhaaa...

i could have sworn i would be very pissed if i ran my 3km or 5km route at this speed today. but i'm not going to be. instead, i'm super pleased with myself.

i only finished my jog after 1hr 33mins. (estimated coz i didn't know my stopwatch took timing until 59mins 59secs only)

but i jogged 10.7km today. v(^o^)v
it's super slow i know... like 30+mins for a 3.5km route... but i dun care lah.. i thought it was a really good jog coz i was really really focussed. apart from seeing 2 dead birds along the road and lotsa crushed snails, a car trying to 'drift' out of school, and a huge rock 'flying' out from under the tires of a truck, i had a great jog. oh yah.. thanx Power 98 for the great music too~ think if i listen to 93.3fm i'll probby last only 5km. last time i jogged 10k+ i oso listened to english station. english pop/rock suits me better larh i guess...

actually wat made me run my 5km route was seeing the gross lizard chomping on some crispy stuff i think it's a flattened snail along the slope coming down can A. if i run my 3.5km route, i'll pass by that area loh!!!

haha some reason...

but thanks to that, i ran 10.7km today!!!
actually i wanted to train my stamina for a 2hr jog... but wat the heck...

haha i'm elated man... gonna treat myself to pork curry rice later.. haha... and there goes my effort in jogging...

hope i can get some sleep tonight...

everyone who runs by the drain cover steps on it and creates this really loud metal clanging sound... it's getting on my nerves... then again.. i think i do the same shytty thing when i go jogging too...

i'll try not to step on it when i jog later too.. :p

anyway had cbc 811 quiz juz now. completed the 1hr long quiz in like 15mins... feeling of knowing the answers quite shiok ah... then again i think i studied abit too hard for this quiz, missed out the little little details that's gonna cost me marks.

2.30pm and my lessons for wed's over... weather quite shiok ah now...

hmm.. juz heard this story abt a Giving Tree over 93.3fm. my jc odac teacher shared this story wif us b4.. it was one of those stories that i really liked alot...

just nice, was thinking back about my trekking days... but it's gonna be a long reflection so i'll leave it to after my exams bah... when everyone's off trekking somewhere and i'm in s'pore... or maybe in genting...

yup.. it's almost time for the exams again... time for a little motivation... the list of things to do after my exams~~

1st things 1st...
1) Move out of hall!!!
2) COR meeting
3) KL trip wif MS 家族
4) kallang seniors gathering (if the turn out is really lousy until i 吐奶,i think will include MS log ppl oso bah... since i actually wanted to organise one to thank them too..)
5) get a job

and if i can't get a job...
1) clean up my room
2) make my sis & godmother their presents
3) make something out of my old slippers
4) go back to volunteering at kwsh

and if i get determined enough...
1) recce sembawang area
2) find a 3-5km jogging route near home
3) cycle
4) swim
5) train till my triceps show up again
6) buck up my signing
7) prepare for AS2 nxt yr
8) learn to cook

and if i save enough money... i'll buy myself...
1) army green sling bag
2) almost similar deuter bag that sm has
3) Backstreet Boys' "Never Gone" album
4) underwear

and if i'm still with my bf after 25 Nov...
1) love him
2) miss him
3) apologise to him for neglecting him
4) spend time with him

but the things i will definitely do..
1) catch a sunrise
2) catch a sunset
3) catch a movie
4) catch up on my lost sleep

that's all for now... though i'm expecting a major module to be done during the dec term break.

sleepy. slept only abt 1 hour... and was awake throughout the circuits lect. surprisingly i could follow... during the 1st 3/4 of the lect...

jap listening today(yesterday) was oh 他妈的快 lah...
hahaa...

that down, left cbc811 quiz 2mr, and 5 mins of jap oral on fri... that is, if i can last for 5mins...
i might just go 'wakarimasen' all the way, but i'll try not to let it happen.*cross fingers*

then it's the 1 week break b4 the horrifying exams!!!

studied in my hall tv lounge this afternoon..~ after a late western lunch =) fell asleep awhile n woke up in time to study a little b4 going for jap. after which had jap dinner. =P the curry rice very nice sia.. and i think i havent bought any other food other than duck rice n guotiao in months. didn't realise the jap stall lady was so heavily pregnant. i tot she was just grouchy coz her face forever no expression one. hmm... (o_O)?

anyway... heard this song by 可米小子 just now... i always thought of this group to sing really ridiculous bubble-gum songs but this song quite nice sia... think i'll be listening to it the whole night while studying...

求爱复刻版 - 可米小子

老唱片听到一半 突然有了灵感
整理之前的混乱 爱原来不难
它存在太多虚幻 终究是古老模样
原来你要的是那么单纯 而简单

在雨天为你撑着伞
星期天陪你到海边 踩踩沙滩

要给你最传统的浪漫 闪着烛光的晚餐
神奇的力量 打开你平凡认真的心房
要给你最古老的幻想 扬起白色的风帆
晒一晒久违的太阳

我的求爱复刻版 不用包装
呵护你不会偷懒

无所谓老掉牙 不需要时髦想法
没创意不需害怕 真心看见了吗
山顶上公园的花 卡片那句情话
真爱的表达还是热咖啡 能催化

天黑了陪你走回家
清晨的信箱会看见 我的鲜花

要给你最传统的浪漫 吹着晚风到天亮
原始的情感 踏着稳定的步伐在成长
要给你最古老的幻想 在城堡的屋顶上
晒一晒温暖的月光

我的求爱复刻版 没有包装
给你复古的温暖
(music)

要给你最传统的浪漫 闪着烛光的晚餐
神奇的力量 打开你平凡认真的心房
要给你最古老的幻想 扬起白色的风帆
晒一晒久违的太阳

要给你最传统的浪漫 吹着晚风到天亮
原始的情感 踏着稳定的步伐在成长
要给你最古老的幻想 在城堡的屋顶上
晒一晒温暖的月光

我的求爱复刻版 没有包装
给你复古的温暖

kept imagining sm singing this song very nicely. =) think if he can just sing the chorus gimme i very happy liao. *hint hint* but actually he sing any song i oso like de arh. =p dunno what 求爱复刻版 means though... if i were to translate it, it would be "beg for love (fuck "fu-ke") version"... hahaa... oops... haha my chinese sucks...

oh yah.. must thank sm again for the 12mins 36secs fone conversation while i was walking back to hall... paiseh leh these few nights make him wait for me den he cannot sleep earlier. =x

juz went to get my lunchbox from steff. for supporting some fund raising thing. got 3 designs to choose from. and i only just realised i bought the design drawn by someone from my pri sch. hmm.. of all the strange coincidences in the world...

face alot of pimples liao arh... =( =( =( me just got fatter n uglier... =x

latest update:
42+58 = 100
so now the impt numbers stand at 100 & 200...
dammit my jap sucks... pray that i can survive my listening later n oral on fri..

anyway couldn't use my IE last nite coz of some server error. i tot it was the sch network again but when i still couldn't get in this morning, went to check the security settings and true enough there was something i accidentally clicked yesterday when i was trying to use the sch wireless.

shyt i could have gone on last nite.

anyway i did the unbelievable yesterday. i studied. for a good 3 hours. i dunno how much understanding got into my puny little brain but i studied, after procrastinating for so long. later at night i had dinner on my own den headed to north spine and studied till 11+ den i started dozing off le..

and i walked back to hall on my own. note: i did not run at all.

of course, must oso thank sm for being on e other side of the phone. thanx u~

woke up super late today. it was almost 9 when i finally crawled out of bed...

fell asleep during signals lect today. woke up n everyone was doing the feedback form thingy n apparently nobody cared abt me. haha.. more time for me to sleep.

today's physics 2 quiz was a letdown. i'm e only EEE student in class re-taking this module and it's supposedly easy for me but still i'm not understanding shit.

and my blog's not showing itself to me...

gonna go camp at north spine later...

lectures are coming to a close.. and so are tutorials... exams are nearing... think whole of nxt week no lessons... quite impossible for me to pia everything in less than 2 weeks.. but there's nth else i can do anyway. maybe i going my daddy's place to work one day to replace those who can't make it on a certain day.. hope can get some cash in my wallet...

my tears never flowed more freely...

nope i'm not crying. i'm tearing... from yawning too much.

woke up at 5am from a really weird dream.. and since i was up early, and unable to concentrate on studying... went for another 3.5km jog...

and clocked a time of 24mins 29secs. 10 secs slower than my best time clocked on 5 October.
but alrite lah... good time to jog man.. no cars.. no ppl...

wanted to train my weights abit but i couldn't stop yawning...

aaahhh tired. and very behind time in my revision...

Spirulina is wicked. but i'm not taking it again. bleah.

i tink if i talk to my daddy nicely... he wouldn't get drunk so often.. =)

the person who needs to learn... is me. (",)

am i supposed to fall sick after getting an extraction?
den again if jeff say i strong, den i shall be. juz wonder why it doesn't hurt coz the dentist said it should hurt. but watever. i'm speaking well and eating well after one day.

didn't blog abt this on the day it happened, but i was really freakin' scared when i was told i had to get the tooth extracted. the last time i had an extraction was when i was in pri 1. and it was TERRIBLE.. i remembered the terrible gauze taste... i was crying n crying during lesson and my teacher got so fed up she called my mother. after that i hated dental visits.

but guess it's also coz i'm much tougher now. for the record, i only changed the gauze twice. didn't complain of any pain at all during the course of the extraction. was smilling away after my tooth was out. haha the dentist even let me see and play wif my tooth. apparently there was a really deep hole.

i salute this dentist. he helped me overcome my fear of dentists just like that. he's good lah.
hehee.. and his assistant make me corn soup! but i couldn't eat the corn.. =
still... hope i dun hafta see him again any time soon. =P

other than that... i cut my fingernails today. they were starting to get on my nerves.

wanted to go suntec mini toons to buy gummies. past few days kept seeing the gummie bear in the drain outside my hall toilet. feel like eating arh... but then again... think i shall be guai and stay in my room to study.

this week's episode of LOST sucks. =x

b4 i forget... juz tot i'd write abit abt today's super hilarious lect. we had to do this instrutor's feedback form. den our circuit lecturer actually showed us some funny feedbacks the previous batch of students wrote for him.
alot of them wrote abt girls liking his baldy head, asking him how he polished it till it shines, one even asked if he could show his chest hair to compensate for his bald head. others are saying they cant talk to their girlfriends in lect becoz he's so darn strict.. they also say that he's sexy, love him, make students horny... wahahaa...

one that i really liked was this-
"is your moustache the source of your knowledge? becoz if it is, please set easier questions for the examination becoz most of us don't have moustaches."

whahahaaa... i got funny seniors man... and ntu is quite happening after all.. either that or our EEE modules are driving us crazy.

i like balding heads too. but only if they dont sound Bollywoody when activated. hahaa.. :x

anyway juz had lunch wif jeff. had a nice talk too. i like talking to jeff. alot of advices from him. nowadays start teasing me oso liao hor! but still he's oso one of the rare ppl who "see me up", dunno for real or just to please me arh. haha. he oso dun need scared i beat him wat coz ppl tkd one loh... hahaa... dunno say such nice things for wat sia.. =P pray hard that we can get our $150 back arh hahaa... yup thanx for e company during lunch.. all e best for e exams...
and ya i'll remember wat u told me. =)

kk.. time to do tutorials..

went for dental appointment. ended up getting my decayed wisdom tooth extracted.

den now back in hall wanted to study but super tired ah...

hope can wake up early 2mr to do some work... till 2mr..

3.5km 26mins 01sec

yup... woke up at 6.30am... hp oredi got msg... but not from the person i was hoping for...
couldn't go back to sleep so went for jog...

not bad lah... slow n constant... 5mins after stopping i'm still dripping wet...

i wonder what i did wrong... =(

this sucks. i'm back in hall and far away from ppl i wanna be wif.

this afternoon going for dental appointment. haai. something i've been avoiding for a very long time. time to face my fear later. meeting my mother at orchard at 4pm. gonna b skipping a couple of lects.

juz when i managed to talk some sense into zy...
haai... wat's wif 2nite man... it's so gloomy... so gloomy that even i can't adjust to it...

真挚 - 郑中基

还记得最后一次 离别在无情城市
我们都强忍着泪湿
默默的欲言又止 背影消失
思念悄悄开始

**从前的懵懂幼稚 现在的相惜相知
不变的是心的真挚
欢乐与悲伤的事 永远不会流逝
只有你们才知

有时候 会有软弱和无助
有朋友我不孤独
呜哦哦....

朋友是一生一世 互相扶持
我们用毫不保留的方式
我们的 关怀永远不停止
天涯咫尺 唯独真情最真实

呜哦哦....
朋友是一生一世 到老到丑
属于我们的故事

repeat **

啦...... (朋友是一生一世)

juz saw jed when i went to e pantry for coffee just now. he asked if i going for any trips this coming sem recess. i said no. he was shocked.

yup, it's official. i'm not going anywhere. not like last yr when i would go trek at least 1 mountain every break.

i would like a holiday. i would like to continue trekking... to continue exploring the mountains of malaysia and more... but until i train up... and finance myself... i tink i'll stop for the moment.

guess i'm still kinda depressed from my traumatic trip to stong... haai...

i give up waiting for the rain to stop.. haai shld have gone home sia...

was planning for a good 5 or 10 km jog to compensate for the jog that i missed coz i didn't come back to hall on monday. must go jog over the weekend liao...

study study study...

suddenly my left hand kena rashes... 1 on each finger except the 4th, 1 on my palm... and i only remember mozzies flying near me but not biting me leh...

i brought my gackt cd to hall... yeah~ love my gackt cd... can study best when i listen to it.. =)

Violet!!! u forgot our date!!! hmmp!!! hahaa...
29 october horh!!

你在哪里啊...

my dear is so super super sweet... (",)

anyway... was kpo-ing in the hi forum and found this link... dear maybe u wanna go see... if u havent see yet... haha...

http://www.metacafe.com/item21968/torn_best_kareoke_ever_video

i still love ur song signing though...

-edited-

hmm... i always like to blog abit... everyday... b4 i start on my school work..

before i start, i'm gonna use dear's initials (i.e. sm) in replacement of 'dear' so that this entry will be less mushy.
yup since my sm blogged abt me.. (hmm...) i shall do the same.. :p

for the past 6 days, we've been meeting up. or rather, sm's been travelling the distance to meet me. one of the reasons why i've decided to move out of hall is coz whenever i go home, he'll come to boon lay and accompany me home.

of course, it's oso coz i dun really enjoy myself in hall anymore. it's not like last sem where there's von n noey just in e opposite block and we cook together every once in a few weeks. and i'm being quite an anti-social idiot to my roomie too. i dun watch tv in hall anymore, not like last sem when at least i have friends who watch survivor every wed nite and on thurs nites no one watches tv so i have the entire tv lounge for me to watch my anime. plus now my sch's in south spine so i take 20mins everyday to walk to sch. my hall's at the other extreme end of ntu loh.
i'll miss the after midnite adventures no doubt.

anyway... back to sm. coz of the fonecall from zy that got my mind all messed up, it got sm's heart in knots again. i really dunno wat to say ah to assure him that to me, he's one amazing boyfriend. no other guy in this world could possibly look me in the eye the way he does and still do the sweet things that he does, and say the sweet things that he says to me. this boi here is truly not the least bit shallow at all. if zy is what's keeping me alive all these years, sm is giving me reason to live.

i really cannot understand what he sees in the short, fat n ugly me. i'm even more guyish than him at times. i can't stand being feminine. i dun talk, walk, sit, behave properly (i.e. girly). i dun let him carry my things for me(until today). he has to travel all the way to boon lay to meet me. he has to send me upstairs coz i'm a wimp n dare not take lift on my own. he sings for me and i do nothing in return. i get angry when he touches my ears. i don't remember the things he says abt himself, but he remembers my every like and dislike that i mention. plus i have zy whom i'm really close to and his presence affects sm's feelings a hell lot.
furthermore, when i was supposed to be 追-ing him, i didn't even do anything. except maybe draw a cat that failed to impress him.

i really think i'm like putting sm through a torture chamber just so i can have him by my side.

i suppose the next few days when we do not meet, will be a good time for us to think things over. ultimately the decision lies with him.

because dear ah, i will never allow another girl to dump u again.

shyt man tired without doing anything again.

juz had the worse marathon of nightmares within the past 1 hr.

nightmare after nightmare after nightmare... each lasting abt 6-8 mins... running away from fights... skin peeling and flaking... losing my way...

even had to fight the semi-conscious state for a while...

haai. going back to sch le. wake up wake up.

Frustrated.

but ultimately, i'm the one at fault...

arhhhhh why lidat lah......

58 & 116... impt numbers...

hehee.. juz tot i'd type this for fun since i really really enjoyed it... and kept thinking abt it....

when there are few ppl ard...
A : (after farting) 82***** Faaaa2 ke4! (hmm this one got chinese yin1 one...not pronounced fake)

B : (after farting) 85***** Dammit!

when there are many ppl ard...
A : (after farting, signs) 82***** f

B : (after farting, STRUGGLES to sign) 85***** d

hahaa... farting had never been more fun. :p

today's 荷叶饭 was a success! though i tot it wasn't very nice arh...
my mother and 堂姐堂姐夫 say very nice...

10x dear for e company 2day.

I bought my lacquer!! hahaa... finally...!!! 2mr den go back hall... haai sianz... this wk dun feel like staying hall...

yesterday's HI dinner was super fun... n funny...
even though there were only 6 of us.

hehee... sitting in btwn J & A is really a good position. din noe J so lame! Hahaa... kena stunned. (haha if u still kpo-ing my blog, yes i'm talking abt u. hahaa...) then A oso.. sometimes very entertaining... den... when they talk army terms ah.. den he will explain until...

actually i still dun understand lah...

and actually i can't remember wat the jokes were but i remember laffing my head off...

hehee... last tuition session le. almost 1/2 of my yr in service as kallang ch has passed. J has been very supportive.. very very supportive.. almost everything he do one leh... i noe i complain n complain many times liao.

anyway juz a thought. during dinner, i was mentioning i'm a peranakan. den ws immediately asked if my mother can cook very well. yup, of course man. that's why i wanna learn to cook so badly. plus it has always been my mother's wish to be able to pass on her recipes to 1 of her daughters... and well she chose me. :p hope i wont let her down!

anyway just now she was teaching me to cook 荷叶饭!! hahaa... love it man... but then once again she left out parts of it.. all the ingredients prepared liao.. i only there to throw everything into the wok n fry. and wrap the rice in the leaf. =_=

which explains why i so late liao still typing this.. haha later make dear wait for me again... =\

好累啊...

gonna cui3 oredi...
2mr den blog somemore...

things to do when i get up
1) Go temple
2) Go Sagacity get my lacquer
3) Be at city hall mrt by 12
4) Go Funan buy ink n mouse
5) Stone...

dun feel like going back to hall 2mr...

yet another night...

was thinking abt the day i went to help out wif ndg... thought abt how i was familiar with nus src area... coz... for the past yr... i would go there every wednesday evening, sometimes every wed & fri evening... for trainings... trained till blisters on my soles formed... trained till the blisters broke... trained till the blisters bled... yet i continued training...

even after i got my 12 stitches.. 2wks later i was back in the studio... training...

yup. capoeira. wat was once my passion... is now a past. the memories remain... but the flame is gone forever... i guess...

i kept wanting to go back to see... how class is now... c how bah...

i left my sign lang dict in hall!!!
time to zzz...

instead of shouting at my daddy, instead of not talking to my daddy, instead of making my mother sad, instead of getting my xiaomei in trouble...

i locked myself in my room.

think i'll turn in early 2nite.

sorry... i'm having a very frustrating night...

Happy Bday in advance, KJ.

21mins 43secs
timing for today's 3.1km jog. Was supposed to do a whole 3.5km but 14mins 46secs into the jog it started to drizzle and i was fighting a stomachache. (idiot...=_=) anyway i walked frm hall 8 to 11 den continued jogging so dat was the time i took while jogging.

pace was good though. or so i tot. could have gone faster. had it not been for the stomachache. today's weather was good. and none of my limbs hurt while i ran which was like wow. =)

k. shower. dinner. home...

getting mixed feelings abt going home 2day...

I'm stuffed. Ate so much for lunch. + my last orange on the shelf for the week. Now I can't sleep. think later sure have lousy run again. + it's been raining on and off since morning. Amazingly... there was no pain. =)
it's all in the mind... sometimes it hurts when there's no rain at all. hahaa..

time passed really fast today. i tot i wouldn't make it through my lessons, but i managed to stay awake (though i couldn't really register). I even went for my data lect at 10.30 in e morning. Woke up at 8 even though I slept only at 4.

Anyway.. haha.. sent out another accommodation enquiry email last nite b4 i went to sleep, and i got a reply! ahahahaa... dunno if it's wat we need but watever. quite happy at my 1st successful attempt. though i dunno how many the others send liao.. =x
i could get used to this... =)

pardon my elation. =p

kk.. main thing is... i had a really nice chat wif my xiaomei(now dun use sis liao coz dajie back in the picture le) over msn. dunno if she felt it was nice but i tot it was larh. -deleted-

-deleted-

anyway dat conversation led on to me telling my xiaomei something i had initially not want to tell her. Now that she noes... u realised my blog now, under a certain column, got something new liao. xiaomei.. one of these days.. i buy somemore kinder surprises, we go back the fitness corner n talk k... den got lizard we run away again.. hahhaaa...

i dunno wat to think as i type this...
1) i'm gonna bring hope to all those average looking girls out there, coz if even i this short, fat & ugly girl can get attached, it's not hopeless yet.
2) i'm gonna wreck all hope to those average looking girls out there, coz the last of the endangered species of good nice men have been taken, by me.
3) i'm going to make alot of people out there disgusted and shocked in disbelief.
but i dun give a shyt anymore. i dun need friends like you.

hihi dear. see ur name under Loves liao mah?

omg. i actually forgot abt the sheep's birthday! until now!

sorry De Yang!

Happy very Belated Birthday Sheep Tan!

(my meimei happy oso arh...?)
psst... i really felt that the foto of u 2 walking side by side is really really sweet... hahaa...
i oso wan the strawberry hello panda...

-deleted-

wohoh... finally got some stuff settled.. left my tutorials...

but still got the trip accomodation to settle. my 1st enquiry juz bounced back. haha. shyt think i really shld haf checked properly. now i cant help feeling so paiseh. aaahhhhhhh... watever.
lucky i nvr provide too many details. hahaa... arrh... i'm juz not looking at the right sites for accomodation enquiries...

handed in the survey for hall accomodation. the office lady tot i ticked the wrong box coz i chose to move out by 30th nov. i was getting quite sianz of hall, especially in view of recent events. think i gonna expect alot of travelling during my EID (watever dat's supposed to be) in dec but if xiaoyee can do it, i shld b able to too...

things i needa do over e weekend:
1) remember to bring e reg forms to sadeaf on sat
2) be at sadeaf by 8.30am on sat, unless meeting cancelled
3) go funan buy black ink for my hp psc 1210 and a mouse for my laptop
4) work on my signing for 17 oct's publicity at bhss (omfg...)
5) work on my jap coz listening & oral's in 2 weeks!!!
6) buy my lacquer spray
7) get a new bag
8) study study study
9) spend time wif my blog's number 1 patron (hahaa...)
10) stone stone stone

it suddenly dawned on me that i could 试听 this song from the net... this song i've been looking for for ages...
祈祷--王杰 王韵婵 演唱

(女)让我们敲希望的钟啊,多少祈祷在心中
(男)让大家看不到失败,叫成功永远在.

(女)让地球忘记了转动啊,四季少了夏秋冬
(男)让宇宙关不了天窗,叫太阳不西沉.

(男)让欢喜代替了哀愁啊,微笑不会再害羞
(女)让时光懂得去倒流,叫青春不开溜

(男)让贫穷开始去逃亡啊,快乐健康留四方
(女)让世界找不到黑暗,幸福像花开放.

(合)让我们敲希望的钟啊,多少祈祷在心中
让大家看不到失败,叫成功永远在.
(合)让大家看不到失败,叫成功永远在.

... i dunno how i came to like this song.. but i remember stunning my sis by knowing the existance of this really really old song. but i really really like it a whole lot. whether i'm happy or sad. from the 1st time i heard it till now i'm still liking it... =) =) =)

my poor roomie is quite sick arh. Get Well Soon roomie!

i'm at home! and i'm using the comp in my room! the comp that's supposedly spoilt.

spent a few mins after i got home, exchanging the CPUs of both computers. coz the one in my current room spoil. den the one in my old room is still in working order but unused. so yah now my room got comp liao~ but it's windows 2000 so cannot read chinese...

k since my laptop is not wif me tonite.. maybe i could get some work done b4 i hit the sheets... hmm...

anyway had a great night. hahahaa...

Assessment of today's 5.4km jog - good but no good.

eh wat am i talking abt?

timing clocked for an estimated 5.2km - 39mins 30secs (jog)
total time - 43mins

haai... disappointing condition lah today. by the time i reach hall 11 i couldn't run liao. hope the ppl at hall 11 didnt see me while i was on the verge of puking. thanks to my empty stomach, nth came out.

hai... sianz... i was aiming for a good run... think my breathing pattern must change abit... running on lack of oxygen...

looking on the bright side... at least i went for the run again today~ and it was quite a relaxing one too.. except the songs on radio sucked...

until when i was walking back to blk 72 from hall 11. they played 白月光(at least, dat was how the song sounded to me..) by 张信哲. i think this song is super nice larh...

haai hope it will rain again later.. stupid hand...stupid shoulder.

jia you for my nxt run!

爱错-王力宏
北风好不留情 把叶子吹落
坠落的它他选择的逃脱
叶子失去小心 风才感觉寂寞
整个冬天北风的痛没人能说

我从来没想过 我会这样做
从来没爱过 所以爱错
我从那里起飞 从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错却不能从来过

翻开回忆角落 忘记的生活
以为幸福都可以掌握
仔细回味当初 那个故事背后喔
原来是我犯下从没真的爱错

我从来没想过 我会这样做
从来没爱过 所以爱错
我从那里起飞 从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错却不能从来过...

真的受未你的世界喔...
找不会那些感觉
其实我不想到别
那些过去

我从来没想过 我会这样做
从来没爱过(从来没有爱过那么认的)
我从那里起飞 从那里降落(降落)
多少不能原谅的错却不能从

从来没想过我会这样做
从来没爱过(爱过)所以爱错(所以爱错)
从那里起飞(爱错爱错爱错baby)
从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错

请你原谅我的爱错

this song is nice... (",)
因为从来没有爱过, 所以怕爱错...

i am nuaa-ing away at home...

i am totally not in the mood to do anything. i could just hop onto bed and enter the world of stonation instantly. or i could be typing this entry and the nxt min i'd zone out again.

feels good to be home though. in the comfort of my room. my elder sis' room.

had a good talk with my mother yesterday morning. went to the market wif her. joked with the auntie selling chicken. hehe.. if i ever get married i'd want her at my wedding. hahaa... really wish she's my godmother or something...

waddahell am i thinking?! hahahaaa...

see? i'm zoning out again.

anyway back to the good talk i had with my mother. she was telling me abt my elder sis. usually i wouldn't listen, but this time i did. and i found out alot of things abt my jie that i never knew abt. in a way... i felt ashamed... of myself... for hating her the way i did, over the past 2 yrs...

i remember the night von n i sat on the parapet outside her room in our previous hall... and talking till the wee hours of the morning.. i told her abt my jie.. dat time i tot of writing her a letter, to find out how she is.. show her the concern any sister would have. this thought never did materialise.

and i soon found myself hating her again.

yesterday, i was talking to another friend about her. really.. it's time i stopped being such an idiot. whatever she did, she must have her reasons. and i respect her, for facing up to it, instead of running away from it.

i dunno if she has time for this... coz the last time i stopped blogging for a long time was becoz she read my blog... and started commenting n stuff... but anyway...

jia you, jie!

(feels weird though...)

do u have to be a volunteer to lead a meaningful life?

this question suddenly came to my mind on the bus today... while i was wearing a t-shirt with the word "volunteer" big on the back of my t-shirt.

there was once, i was sharing my past with an acquaintance. because he and i are both volunteers at sadeaf. and sadeaf being a unique place (at least i tink to most ppl) we'd ask ard how one another come to be a volunteer here.

for me, my interest in sign language sparked a long time ago, way back to when i was in pri6. my 1st real volunteering effort started after i graduated from jc. b4 that, even though i was a 'volunteer' at kwsh, i did it just to clock service hours for nyaa. and even after that, even though i offered to continue my service as i stay just across the road, whenever i went down, it was more of an obligation. so ya i was a volunteer, but so? i didn't have the true attitude of a volunteer, and helping out wouldn't make me any more charitable. but as time went by.. i slowly found happiness in helping out. i began to look forward to going down and meeting the ahmahs n ah gongs ...and i discovered a new side of myself.

anyway, this aquaintance of mine, after hearing my story, commented that i seem to have led a very meaningful life. i didn't see how being a volunteer make my life meaningful. i saw it as being happy. happy coz of the experiences i gained, happy coz of the things i learnt. volunteering has in a way helped me to grow, to realise. through volunteering at kwsh, i learnt patience, learnt appreciation, learnt perhaps a little dialect even, and i learnt tolerance. then at home, i'm more patient wif my family, esp my aunt n my mother. i see the patients in pain, and then i see my aunt in pain, i realise that the pain i too bear wif is nothing compared to what they have to go through. i learnt pretence, to pretend that i'm not disgusted when i have to clean my aunt after she shits, to pretend i'm not afraid to help my mother clean her wounds, to pretend i'm not in pain even though my joints hurt real badly. am i going through a tough life? i've been very very lucky already...

so to all out there who aren't volunteers yet.. dun feel embarrassed or bad that u're not doing any social work of any sort. how meaningful your life is is not determined by how much volunteering you do. if u think ur life is meaningful, then it is.

i'm contented. right now, i'm really really contented to the max, and happy with my life. it's not only meaningful, it's blessed, and i'm loved. and i dun think that because i'm an active volunteer. i have a family i love and a family that loves me. and i have friends whom i love and love me too. is my life meaningful? of course it is. even if i didn't do any volunteering work in my entire life.
even if my academic life is kinda screwed too.

of course, if u wanna be a volunteer, i wont stop u. hahahhahaaa...

juz some thoughts.. disagree nvm.. dun charge me to court can liao..

i'm home early 2nite! my mother even asked me how come i home so early... haha.. 10.45pm very early meh?

super tired... dunno why so tired... fighting wif my eyelids...

today quite happy larh... had a good walk from raffles city to harbour front. even though now my feet blistered le... it was a good walk. =)

feel so at peace now. (",)

how could i forget to blog abt this!! aiyo...

thursday went out with ophir. celebrate sp's birthday. ppl ard were sp of course, L, ck, yl (came later) & me. hl couldnt come so of course qy din appear too. haha.. anyway this time we had no cake, and went to the kopitiam near school only. e ba chor mee really very nice!!! hahaa i eat until like so xing fu sp n L kept laffing at me but watever. hahaa...

dat day actually very sad de.. then somemore the ee2006 buang again.. haha think my tutor abit panicking for me liao. =x. but then once again ophir cheered me up.

Mr Lan oso. hahaa... baka. :p brush up ur malay dude. u need help ask me. i help u ask my father. remember horh.. mountain in malay is GUNUNG, not GARANG. I was garang on a gunung. not the other way round. hahahahaaa... :p

Once again, Ophir added another page to my journal. thanx guys. love ya all lots!

aaaaaahhhh late for song sign liao!!

this sucks. i'm supposed to be having maths tutorial now but i'm still in hall!! because i fell asleep at my table and only just woke up 5 mins ago!!! i was supposed to meet sy at 2pm oso but then he oso wait until he go lesson liao..

arrrrhhhh sux sux sux... now i need to crack my head for the tutorial solutions liao... haai...

oh.. saw something really traumatising(in my opinion) juz now.. there was this squashed changeable lizard (coz mr lim always emphasized dat itz not a chameleon), and ya ppl who know me will know i'm frickin' scared of lizards, and more frickin' scared of dead ones. so when i saw it i was so grossed out i ran past it and even then the look of it kept resurfacing in my head...

arrrrghhhhh...

super tired... hope later go home bus empty empty de den can sleep...

i start counting down liao... 4 1/2 hrs to going home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

k shall do my maths another time... study jap for later lesson...

~~~Happy Birthday my dearest Minmin~~~

*hugz & muackz & nibblez*
dun cry liao k, ting 2nite come back play wif u~~

2 hours ago i wanted to blog this...

went for a 3.5km jog just now. almost ran 5.3k again but remembered that i timed my last 5.3km just this monday so yah think i'll do another nxt week. luckily oso, coz i was so hungry yet went to jog i was getting stitches 2/3 of the run.

timing clocked was 24mins 19secs. shall aim for 19min 45secs by nxt june. for now.. think nxt run if condition good, 23mins bah...

juz now went jp wif L. buy SP's present.. which reminds me.. i havent wrap the prezzie yet!! hahaa.. juz now went comic connection.. saw the kikumaru eiji card... the laminated kind that's too big for my wallet... was so tempted to buy sia...

the pedestrian crossings in school cannot be trusted. i dunno why the school had them painted there coz the vehicles dun stop when ppl are crossing. ppl stop and wait for the vehicles to go first. just some months back i was nearly knocked down by a car while i was halfway across the zebra crossing... and today i was halfway across another zebra crossing and this shuttle bus just sped by in front of me!!

if i had a million hands i would show every single middle finger i have. but then i would owe grace a million dollars so yah i'll keep to the 2 that i have.

then again, i'll just not trust the zebra crossings in school anymore. haha..

waddafish...

i'm attached! haa... attached to my tutorials, attached to my cor programme research, attached to instant noodles n soup, attached to can A duck rice, attached to my hp radio, attached to my laptop, attached to my hall study table, attached to block S2 tutorials rooms 91,95,98, attached to lt 27.

i'm attached to blardy hall 15 and attached to blardy ntu!!

i have no life man.

and i still got the survey forms to get completed.

i wanna go home.

cant wait for the weekend. i'm so homesick i feel like puking. bleah.

on a lighter note, i received a really pleasant fonecall from MS 家族. they're going to KL (genting) come end november! and they asked me to go along~ yeah juz e 4 of us. kinda excited and hoping i can go coz yah even though i've been to many mountains in many parts of malaysia, i've never, yes NEVER been to genting. wat a loser rite...

haha... arghhhhh can't wait for the weekend... cant wait to get the surveys outta my hands!!!

haai... listening to 二人世界 at this time while doing my jap tutorial is making me so terribly homesick i'm on the brink of crying again...

i spent so little time at home last weekend... think i'm gonna go home for the night...

haii... ppl get monday blues... i get tuesday blues.. coz my tuesdays are so frickin' long and draining...

miss a lot of ppl a hell lot...

i miss u violet.. let's meet up someday... i have so much i wanna tell u...

now raining quite heavily outside... hehe.. seems like i was right to go jog in the evening even though it meant i had to skip dinner till a later time... (but it caused me to be late for my meeting though.. =x)

anyway... was a very lazy girl today larh... after falling asleep in signals lect, i skipped maths lect n physics tutorial.. only to find myself back in hall and then falling asleep again at the table.

and woke up realising that it's already 5.45pm and i was supposed to start my jog at 5.30pm to be back in time to wash up n meet e guys for dinner n den the meeting.

but i went for the jog eventually. at slightly after 6. decided to do a timed 5.3km, upslope. coz my last downslope timing was 43mins, was expecting a 40min on this supposedly easier route. but the songs on 933 ah really like wrong timings at different parts of my run arh. they were playing 暧昧 when i was running up the killer slope in ntu. i was thinking...老天真的很会跟我开玩笑... den when i was done with the slope.. i got all the replies from seniors saying they cant make it for the meeting. kept checking my hp while running... and den 奔 came on when i was at the middle of my route. abit hyped lah but den abit wrong timing can coz still got quite a distance to cover... den when i was at the last slope of the route... maybe too tired liao... wasted abt 2 mins trying to prevent myself from puking. =p so... after all this shyt... clocked 40mins 48secs, 48secs slower than my expected time.

next time if i can get a good run, must hit until 38mins liao... otherwise will never hit my 33mins again...

sorry ah zh and whoever was waiting for dinner... i couldn't finish the run in time... den make u all wait for nothing... dui bu qi!!!

meeting was alrite.

think 2nite need coffee again... haai too many things to do liao... it's so early and already i'm feeling sleepy...

I just saw the new FF7 movie, Advent Children. A million zillion thanx to nick & J for helping me get it!!! wanted to watch it last night but 20mins into the movie i gave way to fatigue. super tired last nite. this morning woke up, washed up, den continued watching all the way...

everything is so excellently done larh!!! heh i tink Gackt is like the mascot for final fantasy main characters... 1st he resembled Squall, and now i tink he resembles Cloud too!!! hahaa... i love everyone's hair and eyes in this movie...

arrhhh if only i had my bearbear...

aaahhh i'm supposed to b researching on fansipan!! but i couldn't help it.. dammit man tink i'm gonna wanna get my hands on ff7 and play after e exams liao... even though my ff8 is still hanging at disc 3...

final fantasy... which reminds me... think i kinda hurt a very good friend really bad yesterday... haai... he didn't show it... but he couldn't hide it either... we see how it goes bah...

been wanting to blog abt this for sometime... had a dream quite a few days ago... think got one week liao.. but it's been at the back of my mind since. think ppl who i've recently been talking to, when they ask abt my family, i'll show reluctance in talking abt my elder sis. for some reason that i shall not disclose, i'll never be able to forgive her entirely, and she will only be a sister of the past. Yup.. she was at one time, a really nice sister. even nicer, than the way she appeared to be, in my dream. i dreamt of us in a room... not just her and myself, but my younger sis too. i tink it was supposed to be our bedroom, and then we were talking.. abt what i cant remember... but it was like we were close, all 3 of us. it was a really happy dream, and in that dream, i felt no hatred towards her. the 3 of us were never close all together before, it was either me and her, her and my younger sis, or me n my younger sis. i wonder what made me dream such a dream...

my arms' been hurting quite a bit these days... had to sleep under the covers for quite a few nights... haai... can't wait for the rainy season to be over...

today... slacked the whole day at nus... ndg... watched the futsal games... saw my cor participant in action~ hee. his team got 2nd! hahaa 果然没有白support them!! apart from that... i probably never saw this much inspirational soccer before bah... =)

met a very interesting person.. very nice oso... her signing zai.. soccer oso zai... really 偶像!!!
den during prize giving.. i was at the back trying to interprete wat the mc was saying... and i failed terribly... arhhhhhhhhhh lidat how to be interpreter mah...

hai so many things to do. tuition forms.. cor programmes.. survey forms... omg my survey forms!!! arrrhhhh... then this thurs got quiz.. and den.. still got tutorials to do...

and i had quite an afternoon... =) 谢谢你无缘无故陪我跑这么多地方...
haha realised my last line quite ironic... but i'll leave it like that lah.. hahaa

think i shall try to go back hall early 2nite.. super tired...

回到家... 又是幸福的一天...

yeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

last nite my mother was telling me over msn that she didn't need the medicine for washing her wounds anymore, ask me if i need for my knee... my knee still havent ok yet...

wahahahahahaaa...... if i weren't afraid that i'd fall right through the floor, i'd jump up and around in my room... if i were at home i'd kiss her till her face deforms... hahaaa

i'm esctatic...

can't wait to go home and see her!!! it's a saturday morning and i'm still in hall!!! (and my clothes are in the laundry once more...)

haai supposed to go run this morning but woke up late... den just now breakfast still had 3 pieces of bread... chocolate de somemore... i this week ate 2 loaves of bread leh!!! omfg...

my dear meimei de birthday coming le... hmm... wat to get her leh... aiyoh everytime this day coming i always so shang nao jin.. coz she will remind me abt something that i owe her since sec4... hahaa... ur 21st birthday i bring u go k? :p

Happy Children's Day!

my mother fully recovered le..............!!!!!!!!!!! yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!